rapandu Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Hi, I need an objective opinion. It would be easier for me if it was not about me. I was seeing this girl, dating several times, sex several times (no flaking, no canceling, no postponing) and then it began: last minute canceling, she proposed new time, cancel again, than again cancel. Take a break (traveling), she contacted me, we made definite plans she gladly agreed, after several days she kept changing days, and eventually the plan. I said: "we stay with the agreed plan or we cancel it and do it some other time". She went with postponing it. No contact from my side for 2 weeks, she contacted me. I ask her out, I had just one day free, because I traveled again. She said she can't but I should call her when I'm back. No dates in 2 months. And she made no real effort to see me. I have the feeling I'm a backup plan or something similar. I want to cut her off completely but I want to be sure I'm not overreacting (after writing it down, I'm sure I'm not overreacting).I'm dating some other women who are really happy that I asked them out and they always find time. I don't want to get stuck with a woman (that I like) but she doesn't really like/respect me. I have the feeling the longer I play this game with her the harder it will be. What do you think? "Cut her off" or "overreacting"?
TaxMan Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 No dates in 2 months. And she made no real effort to see me. So it sounds you haven't really seen her in 2 months, or heard much from her? If that's the case, I'm not sure what "cutting her off" would look like. It doesn't sound like there's much left there to cut off. If I haven't seen or heard from a romantic interest in two months, I'd basically assume they were done. You can always block her number and block her on social media, etc. But I'm not sure if that matters. I'd just keep doing what you're doing - see other people and if she contacts you again then I think she owes you an explanation as to why she's been AWOL. I guess it depends on how much you really like her vs. how much you like the other women you're seeing. But I think all things being equal the answer here is to focus on the other women and let her go. 1
Author rapandu Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 So it sounds you haven't really seen her in 2 months, or heard much from her? If that's the case, I'm not sure what "cutting her off" would look like. She still contacts me (I don't initiate anything), and sometimes accepts dates which she later cancels or she proposes some new dates in the future. loop and repeat.
whatnot Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 She still contacts me (I don't initiate anything), and sometimes accepts dates which she later cancels or she proposes some new dates in the future. loop and repeat. So when she says she won't see you....you're gonna show her by not seeing her? don't think I don't understand. I do. I did this for 7 years straight. So I understand completely. It's just the insanity of it that's confusing.
TaxMan Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 She still contacts me (I don't initiate anything), and sometimes accepts dates which she later cancels or she proposes some new dates in the future. loop and repeat. Given that, I'd go NC, block her number and start concentrating on other women. If she really wants to see you, she'll move mountains to track you down. If not, you haven't really lost anything.
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Agree with another poster. What is there to cut off exactly? She's basically refused to see you for two months straight. My impression is she's avoided dating you longer than she actually dated you! So what if she randomly contacts you? She won't actually date you anymore! She's maybe-Ing you into oblivion. You were demoted to orbiter a couple of months ago now. Stop wasting your time and go look for someone else who actually wants to date you. 3
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Good lord just tell her to stop wasting your time already.....should have put the brakes on after the second cancellation. 1
LYNNLH Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 (edited) Don't ever let anyone string you along. I agree with Smackie. I dated a man I met from OLD in April and things went really fast. He visited me in April (Long distance and it was also for work) and before he left, he gave vague plans on seeing me again. I did not feel good about that but foolishly continued a 'fake' text based relationship while we were apart. He thought he could string me along by giving me crumbs (text messages each day but all shallow chats and never asked about me). I grew tired of it, came to my senses after 2 weeks of him trying to string me along. Told him I know he has no interest in me and that I am moving on. And to not waste my time. Blocked him and that's that. And yes...Cut her off because she is clearly stringing you along. It is not over-reacting on your end. Edited July 4, 2017 by LYNNLH 1
Jenn2 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Next time she contacts you just ignore her. I wouldn't waste anymore time! Life is too short! 1
Author rapandu Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 Just answered to her last text/question: her: "would you call me when you are back?" me: "I won't. I don't like where this is going, I know something is not right and I don't want to do it anymore. Farewell." Thank you all for your advices. 1
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