Belle23 Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 A friend of one of my friends came up to me at the bar and warned me about this guy I had been getting close with the past fews weeks. I backed off of him a bit because I know they had some sort of relationship in the past. I thought what she had said had to have had truth to it, especially since we have a mutual friend. Well, now, they're seeing each other. I feel like she said that to me just to get me away from him and I guess it's my fault for believing her and backing off. Should I say something to her or him or both? I know it's probably not worth the headache. I just feel it's extremely rude and petty of her to do that!
stillafool Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Well if you still like him and want him then all bets are off. Tell him why you backed off and see what he says.
Author Belle23 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 Well if you still like him and want him then all bets are off. Tell him why you backed off and see what he says. Won't that make me look like sour grapes because he's dating her now and make it look like I'm just jealous?
Author Belle23 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 What would you say to him? Her? No idea. What did she say exactly when she warned you? She said he's a player and a trouble maker and that I should stay away from him.
darkmoon Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 yes, tell him what she said, just do not sound sad, make it a bit of gossip, nothing too heavy
Arieswoman Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Belle23, I wouldn't bother to say anything. "When people show you who they are, believe them" Now you know that the girl can't be trusted, give her a wide berth - I'd keep out of her social circle as well Life's too short to be sweating petty stuff like this with petty-minded people. 4
phineas Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 No idea. She said he's a player and a trouble maker and that I should stay away from him. as a guy, if you got cold on me all of a sudden then came back after i got with someone saying my current girl scared you off by calling me a player i'd assume you found someone "better" and when "better" didn't work out you came back to me with some silly story and may actually be cray cray. Plus this chick has probably already put you on blast. besides, even if i believed you, i'd be not too impressed you didn't bother to figure out who i was and instead listened to someone else. so don't do it. however if this woman was really that manipulative i'd figure it out soon enough and drop her eventually. so, just let it go for now. 2
mortensorchid Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 I'm sorry this happened to you, truly I am. I don't like it when people use or take advantage of others, lie to them, etc. All is fair in love and war to many unfortunately. Realize that this woman was not your friend, as she was not anyone's friend truly. And neither was this guy. They are well matched. You can (and will) move on from this, you will realize later. 3
BaileyB Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Be glad. You don't want to get involved in that kind of drama. 3
Author Belle23 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 as a guy, if you got cold on me all of a sudden then came back after i got with someone saying my current girl scared you off by calling me a player i'd assume you found someone "better" and when "better" didn't work out you came back to me with some silly story and may actually be cray cray. Plus this chick has probably already put you on blast. besides, even if i believed you, i'd be not too impressed you didn't bother to figure out who i was and instead listened to someone else. so don't do it. however if this woman was really that manipulative i'd figure it out soon enough and drop her eventually. so, just let it go for now. This is why I mostly will not say anything. I don't want to look like a nutcase. Hopefully, he'll find out about her sooner than later. Or like someone else said, maybe they're good together. I do regret backing off. Oh well. You live and you learn. 1
Scarlett.O'hara Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 You may not feel like it now, but she did you a favor. There was clearly "unfinished business" between the two which is why they are back together again. If you had continued to date this guy, there would have probably would have been a lot being said and done behind your back. With that being said, I wouldn't recommend being friends with her. She has made her priorities clear, and you don't need friends like that. 1
preraph Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 She probably warned him about you too. That would make me mad enough to say something to him. I'd say, "You know, I wondered why Jessica warned me about you, but now I see she's dating you again, so I guess she was just blocking me. I assume since she told me crap about you, that she also told you crap about me. Just wanted you to know." Then I wouldn't be friends with Jessica anymore, but you were nice to back off since you knew they had some relationship in the past, but if she is badmouthing him to get you to back off him and then dating him, that kind of means you don't owe her anything now, because I do assume she's badmouthed you to him. However, I wouldn't date him now either. Because it will just be drama and probably get ugly. I'd leave them to it.
phineas Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 You may not feel like it now, but she did you a favor. There was clearly "unfinished business" between the two which is why they are back together again. If you had continued to date this guy, there would have probably would have been a lot being said and done behind your back. With that being said, I wouldn't recommend being friends with her. She has made her priorities clear, and you don't need friends like that. That isn't true. she went cold the other woman was hot. why would a guy waste his time on the cold one? but as i said, if he is a good guy he will figure out this woman is not a good woman. 1
phineas Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 This is why I mostly will not say anything. I don't want to look like a nutcase. Hopefully, he'll find out about her sooner than later. Or like someone else said, maybe they're good together. I do regret backing off. Oh well. You live and you learn. yep. but if they are good together then there is something off about him. quality women do not connive like this to get a man. quality men recognize low quality women. sometimes it takes a while so don't wait around for him.
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Surely he isn't the only guy in your village. Go find someone else. Thank your lucky stars that you weren't his rebound in the middle of their on-again, off-again arrangement. Who needs that drama? 1
Author Belle23 Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 Thanks everyone! It tore my confidence down quite a bit, but your input has made me feel a little better. 1
l8estnews Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Thanks everyone! It tore my confidence down quite a bit, but your input has made me feel a little better. 1.) In the future, never believe someone else's comments about another person until you see it yourself. It's unfair to the person you are dating with. Instead of backing off, ask that person directly about what you have heard. 2.) Let this one go. There are other fishes in the sea. But please, please, take that girl out of your life. She can audition for that Medusa part in your local town play. Tell her she doesn't even need to wear a costume or make-up. 3.) Better yourself. Make yourself "the one that got away" 2
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