Shylad Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 I have so much **** going on in my life right now (actually all my life..). I barely managed to scrape through college last year because I am under so much pressure. Let me just explain how bad my life is right now... My dad is terminally ill with motonueron disease and was given a life expectancy of around 1-2 years, he was diagnosed with it just over 2 years ago. Before that my dad had stomach cancer, his stomach had to be removed so he now has a tube inside of him. Secondly my mum has had a very heart for the past few months. She has had medication and several tests done on it, we are currently waiting for more results back from the hospital. Thirdly I am depressed with my life. Although I know quite a handful of people I really only have about 3 or 4 I can actually call true friends. I currently have so much wrong with me. I am a bit overweight, I would call myself "chubby" not really "obese" and I am really shy (I mentioned this in my other topic). So right now I am finding it really hard to meet girls even though most people tell me I am way above average looking..but I don't think so......perhaps I should post a pic. Although I have a massive family its like a constant war between certain family members. My mums side of the family have never gotten on with my dads side of the family and vice-versa (you know what I mean!), so us children have been in a constant struggle most of our lives. When I was younger my father was an alcoholic and a heavy smoker who was a real violent bastard to mum. My mum has become really messed up mentally from years of abuse but now we all feel sorry for my dad now that his ill. I mean this causes so much mixed emotions for me ("yeah that bastard had it coming", "well his supported us still no matter how drunk he was etc." and "seeing him like this really upsets me"). I have seeked counselling in the past but nothing seems to get better. I mean the counselling has helped turn me into a really mature and intelligent young person...but I would trade my intelligence and maturity if I could just have a proper LIFE! And the counselling that I recieved couldn't help my father or mother as they refused to have it. My dad was the main dude around where I live years ago, "like the big hard bloke with loads of hard, screwed up, friends in higher places than average people etc...", so his attitude towards everything was just "be a man you wimp!" sort of thing.. My friends have stood by me most of my life and although I can tell them certain personal problems they're not trained counsellors so I can't expect them to help me loads. They are great with what they do. Fourth on my list is how it feels like Im struggling to live in my own house. Where my dad is Ill we have 24/7 carers in and out (2 at a time) and its a small house as it is (with my mum and brother also living here). My dad has 24/7 care because my mum can't do it and I am trying to lead a norma life (which I am struggling with!) and look after my mum. My room is like a sanctuary to me right now. With my mum ill, dad ill and me with no income (any money I manage to get from freelancing computer work I give to support my family!), so its hard for me to get out. Well thanks for letting me get some things of my chest. It would be great if I could post a pic and have the girls rate my looks (to see how average I really am). ^_^ I hope you people keep everything I have said here confidential. I don't wanna be forced to sue anyone! May I just add that I am seriously regretting turning down an 18k-24k a year job I was recently offered (thats £18,000 - £24,000) and I am only 17! Why did I turn it down! I could have used that to meet more girls as there seem to be none at my college. Also I don't have an actual part-time job although I do some freelancing computing work from time to time (website development etc.) and any money I earn goes to supporting my family anyway! Regards, David aka Shylad
Author Shylad Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 *BUMP* Can anyone offer me advice of how I can overcome my depression? :|
JS17 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 Your family situation seems to be the biggest factor causing difficulty in your life. You said you went to counceling and that it didn't help. Have you thought about finding another counselor., one that could help you? If not there should be support groups in your area or you could go to the library and check out some books on coping with ill family members and abuse. One thing that came to mind for me while reading your post is that you said you were overweight and wanted more friends. It seemed so logical to me that you take up a physical activity like a sport (basketball, baseball, martial arts, etc) or join a gym. You'll be getting in shape, have the opportunity to meet people, escape from your house for a while, and create endorphins which will help decrease your depression. It sounds to me that you have some really great friends. As far as I'm concerned, it's more important to have 3 or 4 friends that you could trust with anything than 100 friends that mean very little to you. If you want to meet more people, try getting more involved in things at college or finding other interests outside of school. Maybe you made a mistake turning down this job, maybe you didnt. If you want a new job start looking for one. You will find something. Hope this helps.
Author Shylad Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Hey thanks again. When I went to counselling a few years ago it did help me. I was once an immature little punk and I always caused trouble, but the counselling made me realise this and I managed to turn my life around. I am no longer the "chav" sort of person I used to be. What I meant was that it couldn't help my parents because they refused to go. Oh am I making no sense at all? Im sorry for sounding like a moron....
JS17 Posted August 8, 2005 Posted August 8, 2005 i would seriously consider some kind of counseling. it would be difficult on anyone that had two sick parents much less a 17 year old starting college. i had an ex, who was a social worker believe it or not, who didn't want to get counceling and his mother had developed MS and was in a wheel chair, his step father had a stroke, his father was a compulsive cheater, and his father and grandfather were alcoholics. The guy also had a speech impediment as a child which caused him performance anxiety even though he took himself to speech therapy when got a little older. sometimes the people that need the most help are the first to refuse it. i don't think it would be optimal to have me rate you because i am much older than yourself and everyone has different taste. you have to believe that you are a great person and that looks really aren't all that important. you have to believe that you look good yourself and that other's opinions don't matter. maybe that's something you would consider working on as well.
Author Shylad Posted August 8, 2005 Author Posted August 8, 2005 Thank you so much for the advice JS17.
AMBOMB72 Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 I know you asked for my advice, David, but I really don't know what to tell you. There's a lot going on in your life that's beyond your control. I don't think you have very much wrong with you, though. There's a lot wrong with your life (welcome to the club), but having something wrong with your life isn't the same thing as having something wrong with you.
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