FaithInTheDark Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 I met this guy that is a really interesting person We went out on a date and hooked up a couple times as well. He is really reserved and not very up front on his feelings toward us at times... It gives me mixed signals and there for I feel insecure. In all fairness he's going thru a tremendous amount of life issues. Example... really poor at responding to texts but, our mutual friend said he does the same to him when he messages??? At one point I asked what he wanted and he said " I'm not sure but I want to take it slow" But our first date was wondering and we get along good. Well, we hung out as a group yesterday and hit it off. He asked me to hang out the next day and I agreed but said " I didn't want to waste my time, only if he was serious about actually hanging out" So he planned everything out for the date. We walked thru the park for hours talking and then went for dinner. Kissed each other good bye . I thanked him for dinner and he said he had a fun day. Our interactions are great but it's been wishy washy with follow up communication and feeling unclear. Point blank I want to know his feelings for me. Obviously he does like me if he took me out today but I feel in much a limbo. Any advice how to ask a man where he stands with you...I would probably have to text him.
teak Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 He's not that into you. When someone is into you, there is no confusion. You can hope for the rare exception here, or you can accept that he's just ok with you. It may be because of his "life issues," but if those aren't likely to clear up any time soon, he's not likely to come on any stronger. When I'm in this situation I go a couple of days without communicating, especially if it's been mostly one-sided. If he doesn't pick up from there, I just let it go. Good luck. Hope it works out how you want it to. 1
basil67 Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 He's already told you the answer to your question. Sure, you can ask him again, but I guarantee the answer will still be "I'm not sure but I want to take it slow". If you want a definitive answer in the short term, he's not your guy. 1
d0nnivain Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 He's bad at texting & isn't somebody who is glued to his phone with you or his friends. Yet you want to have the most emotional conversation possible via text. Sounds like a fantastic way for you to ruin everything. Really you could not pick a worse way to approach this. Conversations about feelings should only be done face to face. After a couple of dates when he said he wants to take it slow, you want to press the gas & move full speed ahead. He already said he doesn't want that. What is there to ask again? You either agree to his pace or you break up & go find somebody, like you, who rushes into things. 1
BaileyB Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Conversations about feelings and intentions should only be done face to face. He has already told you, by his words and actions, that he wants to take it slow. Either you make peace with that or move on to find someone else if you want something more serious. 2
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 I'm not really trying to rush into things. It's just he's hard to read. I guess I just want to know if he's actually into me or not haha
BaileyB Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 That is the question. A man who is really into you, won't leave you guessing for too long about his intentions. 5
coolheadal Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 I'm not really trying to rush into things. It's just he's hard to read. I guess I just want to know if he's actually into me or not haha He told you he wanted to takes things slow.. But you don't want that, I am like you who does.. If he's not for you then go find another man to be with! 2
d0nnivain Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 I'm not really trying to rush into things. It's just he's hard to read. I guess I just want to know if he's actually into me or not haha Then take your time & learn to read him. Demanding answers early from a man who already said he prefers to take things slow is a bad plan. If he keeps showing up & he plans dates he's into you.
mikeylo Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 That is the question. A man who is really into you, won't leave you guessing for too long about his intentions. and he would want to take you off the market. 3
stillafool Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 When you say hooked up a couple of times does that mean sex? How long have you been going out with him?
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 When you say hooked up a couple of times does that mean sex? How long have you been going out with him? Two months.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 We have twice. Yes. Yet, I like him to the point im too scared to reach out to hold his hand on our date yesterday. Haha what is wrong with me
Maggie4 Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 I think it is confusing to you because he seems really into you and yet he's not moving forward. Men are like that. They need to be ready for a serious relationship. For some, it is dependent on age, for others it's career, maturity or whatever. It's like musical chairs, they'll keep passing up on the chairs, until the music stops then they grab the nearest chair. You could be right for him, just at the wrong time. So naturally that's very confusing to you. Don't wait around. Find a man who is ready.
angel.eyes Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 His interest sounds lukewarm at best. Two months in and you're having sex but he told you clearly when you asked that he wanted to take it slow, doesn't communicate outside your dates, and won't even hold your hand on a date. If you're looking for someone a little more enthusiastic about dating you, he's not your guy. You're wasting your time. 1
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 I think it is confusing to you because he seems really into you and yet he's not moving forward. Men are like that. They need to be ready for a serious relationship. For some, it is dependent on age, for others it's career, maturity or whatever. It's like musical chairs, they'll keep passing up on the chairs, until the music stops then they grab the nearest chair. You could be right for him, just at the wrong time. So naturally that's very confusing to you. Don't wait around. Find a man who is ready. Makes a ton of sense. Thank you
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 If he didn't like me why would he set up this second date and pay for my dinner and drinks?
basil67 Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 If he didn't like me why would he set up this second date and pay for my dinner and drinks? I'm sure he 'likes' you. You are probably good company. But it doesn't seem that has any particularly strong feelings towards you. He sounds lukewarm at best. Oh and a bit of general dating advice: Don't bother with someone who you can't read. Good relationships come from having good communication - but if the communication is off from the start, the whole thing is doomed. 2
angel.eyes Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 If he didn't like me why would he set up this second date and pay for my dinner and drinks? He doesn't dislike you. It just seems like he could take it or leave it. He won't be crying in his soup if things fizzle out. He's behaving like someone who isn't that interested, but since he has nothing else going on right now, will carry on until someone comes along who really grabs his attention.
Author FaithInTheDark Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 I'll take it for what it is. I appreciate the insight. On wards to the dating world lol
OnlyHonesty Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 People can tell you anything, but their actions tell you everything.
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