jstinson Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Hi everybody, I have a girlfriend whom I love very much, but I'm scared that her and I won't work out in the long run. We started dating the first time nearly three years ago now, and were together for a little over a year. After that year I broke up with her for a number of reasons, most but not all of which have since faded from memory. The few that still remain are that she was lazy, insecure, immature, she had always been pampered by her mom, and I was supporting her too much since she was attending a university and didn't have a job. Following the breakup we both had a very traumatic year. She had a number of no strings attached relationships and a boyfriend. She also struggled with depression, and had to get a job. I got into a far too serious relationship way too soon with a woman who turned out to be unstable. So I spent the year trying to salvage my life and career in the military after that relationship exploded. After the year, her and I came back into contact and eventually started dating again after trying to stay friends for a few months. Now coming up on six months back together she has graduated, I have moved out of the country for a while, we are doing a long distance relationship, and I am worried that her and I are too different for our relationship to last. She is the type of person who will watch Netflix for multiple hours a day, goes out to eat or doesn't eat most of the time, she exercises in short bursts (maybe six weeks a year), isn't driven to start into the career field she went to school for, and has very little resilience. Whereas I might watch Netflix once per week, I seldom go out to eat, I exercise every day, I have worked 40-80 hours every week since I graduated high school, I study law and political science on the side to improve my life in the future, and am very resilient. I understand that this is just my side of the story, but how can her and I work together as a strong team rather than pulling ourselves further and further apart?
smackie9 Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Sure she can use a good kick in the pants but that won't change much about who she is. I know you are looking for some magic solution but there really isn't one. You can suggest she seek out a therapist to work on that depression, and then proceed to seek out a guidance/career counselor. The rest will be up to her.
preraph Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 I think you can find a better match. Someone who at least likes to go do things and has some ambition. She is one of the few women suited to the guy who does nothing but play video games. She can watch netflix while he does that. 2
Violetstar Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Damn. Your girlfriend sounds exactly like the guy I'm dating. And you sound more like me. Let's date instead! Just kidding. I'll be honest, I do not believe in long distance relationships and it's obvious you are having well-founded doubts about the relationship. You two didn't work out in the past for reasons that still seem relevant today! It seems she was lazy and unambitious in the past, and that it's still the same today. Even if the distance part was not a factor (which it will be later on), you two aren't a great match. I know guys who love to kick back and do the minimal and I know girls who are go-getters, ambitious, career-orientated. There's a better match out there for you. I don't know your girlfriend, I'm sure she's beautiful, I'm sure you love her, I'm sure she loves you. But you're asking these questions for a reason. And I think that reason is that you're scared and you're having doubts. I'm sure it's nice having someone to talk to while you're away but I say it's best to find someone more like you while you still have time
coolheadal Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Hi everybody, I have a girlfriend whom I love very much, but I'm scared that her and I won't work out in the long run. We started dating the first time nearly three years ago now, and were together for a little over a year. After that year I broke up with her for a number of reasons, most but not all of which have since faded from memory. The few that still remain are that she was lazy, insecure, immature, she had always been pampered by her mom, and I was supporting her too much since she was attending a university and didn't have a job. Following the breakup we both had a very traumatic year. She had a number of no strings attached relationships and a boyfriend. She also struggled with depression, and had to get a job. I got into a far too serious relationship way too soon with a woman who turned out to be unstable. So I spent the year trying to salvage my life and career in the military after that relationship exploded. After the year, her and I came back into contact and eventually started dating again after trying to stay friends for a few months. Now coming up on six months back together she has graduated, I have moved out of the country for a while, we are doing a long distance relationship, and I am worried that her and I are too different for our relationship to last. She is the type of person who will watch Netflix for multiple hours a day, goes out to eat or doesn't eat most of the time, she exercises in short bursts (maybe six weeks a year), isn't driven to start into the career field she went to school for, and has very little resilience. Whereas I might watch Netflix once per week, I seldom go out to eat, I exercise every day, I have worked 40-80 hours every week since I graduated high school, I study law and political science on the side to improve my life in the future, and am very resilient. I understand that this is just my side of the story, but how can her and I work together as a strong team rather than pulling ourselves further and further apart? She's not for! You said why and you said a lot more than a lot a men won't admit you have a lousy lazy no ambition girl friend. You are moving in the forward direction and she's dead weight for you. What happens if you two got married and she had your kids and total disaster.. You will never be happy with her. You just have to see reason and understand that's what you just told use in so many words, you know the truth solider now do your duty and get out and away from her. Find another suitable person to be with that's more on your own level of thinking, performing and has goals in life!
coolheadal Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 Damn. Your girlfriend sounds exactly like the guy I'm dating. And you sound more like me. Let's date instead! Just kidding. I'll be honest, I do not believe in long distance relationships and it's obvious you are having well-founded doubts about the relationship. You two didn't work out in the past for reasons that still seem relevant today! It seems she was lazy and unambitious in the past, and that it's still the same today. Even if the distance part was not a factor (which it will be later on), you two aren't a great match. I know guys who love to kick back and do the minimal and I know girls who are go-getters, ambitious, career-orientated. There's a better match out there for you. I don't know your girlfriend, I'm sure she's beautiful, I'm sure you love her, I'm sure she loves you. But you're asking these questions for a reason. And I think that reason is that you're scared and you're having doubts. I'm sure it's nice having someone to talk to while you're away but I say it's best to find someone more like you while you still have time No you have more than you have on your hands, you need to figure that out first before you can take on someone like this. There is nothing wrong with long distance relationships. How you ever tried them. When it comes to love you never know where the love of your life will be. Sometimes GOD plan for us all isn't never where you might thing it might be somewhere else for that person to be with.
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