janine Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 I guess the fact that I'm even asking this question suggests that I know the answer is...yes! I began seeing this man a few weeks ago. He has never spent the night, which I know is a red flag. About a week ago, when I confronted him on this, his reply was, "I'm getting out of a relationship of 4 years. Things are 'sticky' right now. She calls me every morning before going to work and if I'm not there, it makes things difficult." I realize how ridiculous that excuse sounds, but, at the time, I wanted to believe it. A couple of nights ago, he drove me home after a party. He came upstairs and told me that he had to leave. Again I asked him to just let me know what was going on. That what he was telling me just didn't make sense. This time I was told, "My ex lives nearby and when she sees that my car isn't there, it causes problems." I was also told, "I don't want to have to leave in the middle of the night. The next time we're together, I want to be able to spend the entire night with you." What puzzles me and what has made me continue on, is that, I have his home phone number. We go out in public together (albeit, we don't completely act like a couple when out). I know his friends. Is what he's telling me true? Would he really need to leave in the middle of the night for the reasons he's telling me if his relationship is over? The fact that this is going on at all should make me get out now while the getting's good, however, I found out yesterday that I am pregnant. I'd appreciate any input you may have. Thanks!
TrustingFool Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 I am sorry you're going through this, but his excuses do not add up. This is his ex, not his present. The fact that he is doing all this for an ex is setting off red alarms all through my head. It can't be his ex. I don't believe that story at all. It might be time for you to do a little investigating yourself. You say you're pregnant to, thats a mess in and of itself. I don't see this guy being there for you. He might want to be a part of the child's life but I honestly don't see him sticking around. He sounds as though he is either, married, engaged, in a serious relationship, or whatever else. He doesn't sound single to me. I would do some investigating, but don't let him off lightly with this pregnancy. Make him pay for his mess up just like you're going to pay for it too. Goodluck.
Author janine Posted August 6, 2005 Author Posted August 6, 2005 Thanks for your reply. I know you are right. It helps to have my feelings validated.
dumptagain Posted August 7, 2005 Posted August 7, 2005 He's definitely in another relationship. The proof positive of this is that HER opinion about his whereabouts has more effect on his behavior than YOUR wishes. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, given what you have just learned. Now is definitely the time to wake up and smell the coffee (actually, a month ago would have been greatly preferred). Next time, PLEASE get to know a man first - and well - before falling in love and/or giving him the opportunity to make you pregnant.
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