AmericaninNORWAY Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 Well it has been 6 days after the 4 year long relationship has been destroyed. Because my girlfriend found another guy. I have stuck to the NC for the last 6 days and have not even heard a peep from her. I do not know why. I mean I am in Norway and I am alone in my own apartment and she is out having really fun with this new guy. I getting over her as each day goes on. I mean I have gone six days since I moved my stuff out from even picking up the phone and trying to call her. I think that is a huge step myself. Personally I just hope she is happy. I really dont want her back but I really want her to be happy in life. I want this guy to make all of her dreams come true. She is a good person but I mean sometimes relationships just dont work out and you have to admit that and try to move on. yes I do admit everynow and then I am hurting inside. If I did not feel like that then there would be something really wrong with me. After the four years I have realized some things about myself and things that I am going to have to work on in Future relationships. Personally I dont think she will ever call me. We live close to one another about 15 minutes and I think it is pretty sad that she can not pick up the phone to call me. She changed and I pretty much stayed the same. But 6 days of NC is really good for me. I am getting over her almost everyday. I think this is a great step. I have questions for all of you guys: 1. I mean do you think she will ever call? 2. Breaking up a 4 year relationship for another guy is a pretty big step...what do girls think about when they do this? 3. Should I ever call her or should I wait for her to call me? Hope you guys can help.
francis Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 i'm sorry that you are going through this... its possible that she was unhappy for a long time before she actually made the decision to leave you, so she will have had a head start on getting over your relationship. love feelings die, this is one thing in life you have no control over. really, she has no real reason to call you. the dynamic of the relationship between the two of you has changed forever. it has been less than a week, sont expect to be able to get over this so soon, you will for sure go through a mixed bag of emotions before finally feeling that you are over this experience all i can say is that you are doing really well so far, in that you are keeping your distance and not contacting her...i think you are doing the right thing. the fact is she has found someone else, she developed feelings for someone else, so she is in a very different place to you now. dont expect anything from her, dont turn to her for comfort, she can no longer offer you the love she once did, getting used to this is the hardest thing to accept. i think you're priority is to look after YOU, not spend time waiting for her, get on with your life, mend yourself, set yourself goals, seek comfort from others, find a safe place and tell yourself every day that it is over. no contact is the way to get over her, by staying in touch, you will just draw out the painful process. i promise.
AmericaninNorway Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 Thanks for the reply. I got through another day today without picking up the phone to even call her or send a message to her. I mean our relationship over the last 4 years has been a very good one dont get me wrong. I really miss her. I know that is normall but I mean do you actually think that she is really missing me? I mean she is probably with this guy all the time. Do you think she ever thinks of me? She said that she hasnt been in love with me since christmas but I think that is a bunch of BULL. Here is the story. She met the guy around June 10th to the 18th and on the 25th she broke up with me for the first time. Saying that she really didnt want to do this anymore and said that she didnt love me anymore. So i moved out for a month and everything was going great and then she leaves for three days to go and visit this guy. I was furious. I never got mad at her but I told her that I would never want anyone to do that to me and I cant be with her anymore. She agreed and said that I should just go home to the states. I said I was not going to, I said I was going to work for a year and maybe go home afterwards. Well we have been broken up since sunday and It has almost been a week. I am really proud of myself. I know that she probably wont call but I mean. What happens if it doesnt work out between this new guy and her. Will she come running back to me??? I sure hope not. American in Norway
moon Posted August 9, 2005 Posted August 9, 2005 I know from movies and things we think that somebody might break up with the person they are with because they have found sombody better. I'd just like to say I don't know one friend in real life who has ended a serious relationship just to date another person. I do know a few aquaintances who have done this and sorry to say it, but it says more about them then you. They are avoiders. They most likely don't deal well with problems or confrontation and ending your relationship to go out with another seemed the easiest route. I think the odds are slim that this new relationship will weather. If it does live on I guess it was based on some sort of real feelings. My ex started going out with somebody else right after me and the thing didn't last for more than a couple months. I think that's a normal pattern for rebounds. But you know it's hard to tell. I think if you give it total NC and all that, you'll probably hear from the girl again. But sadly she's probably ruined the relationship forever even if she does come back. I doubt you'll ever really trust her again and that's her doing, not yours. This girl's probably just making a big mess for herself and she's going to have to own up to it eventually. That's just my opinion.
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