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Wants me to be his girlfriend after 3 hours??

Katz123

By Katz123
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Katz123 Member

Katz123

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It's not a question of if I like him, it's a question of him asking me to be his gf after 3 hours normal?

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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It's not a question of if I like him, it's a question of him asking me to be his gf after 3 hours normal?

 

I do believe guys know on the first date (actually even the 1st hour) whether they want you to be their GF or not. Some even know if they want you to be their wife. Most just don't say it because they know better not to. This guy did, most probably because he has anxiety about the dating market, especially OLD.

 

But you have said no, so stop worrying about this. If you feel like you don't know him enough then take the time to get to know him more. What more is there to ask about this? I don't get it.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

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He's not going to be a stalker! :rolleyes:

 

I'd worry about it with anyone who didn't behave in a regular way. Mind you, even seemingly normal people can become stalkers ;)

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Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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I'd worry about it with anyone who didn't behave in a regular way. Mind you, even seemingly normal people can become stalkers ;)

 

Okay well then let's all just say he's a freak and a stalker then.

 

Except she doesn't seem to want to let him go...

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Katz123 Member

Katz123

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I do believe guys know on the first date (actually even the 1st hour) whether they want you to be their GF or not. Some even know if they want you to be their wife. Most just don't say it because they know better not to. This guy did, most probably because he has anxiety about the dating market, especially OLD.

 

But you have said no, so stop worrying about this. If you feel like you don't know him enough then take the time to get to know him more. What more is there to ask about this? I don't get it.

 

I understand what your saying. However, still seems strange to ask me already. I just don't feel like I know him, so I feel like I am just fitting a role with him. Like he just wants a gf and be off the market already.

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Arieswoman Established Member

Arieswoman

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I dated one guy ( OLD ) who wanted to take me back to meet his parents (who he lived with) on the first date !

 

I turned him down, as quite frankly that put me right off him.

 

When I told my friends about him they all knew of him and said "Oh he does that with every girl he meets!"

 

Another bullet dodged - phew....

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Katz123 Member

Katz123

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I dated one guy ( OLD ) who wanted to take me back to meet his parents (who he lived with) on the first date !

 

I turned him down, as quite frankly that put me right off him.

 

When I told my friends about him they all knew of him and said "Oh he does that with every girl he meets!"

 

Another bullet dodged - phew....

 

Wow, that's super weird.

I just don't understand why guys act like this.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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I understand what your saying. However, still seems strange to ask me already. I just don't feel like I know him, so I feel like I am just fitting a role with him. Like he just wants a gf and be off the market already.

 

A lot of guys really don't like being single!

 

And to be fair, women do this too.

 

It's not very romantic, but I think they try to make their best effort of it.

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Katz123 Member

Katz123

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A lot of guys really don't like being single!

 

And to be fair, women do this too.

 

It's not very romantic, but I think they try to make their best effort of it.

 

I know, but after 3 hours seems strange. I could see doing this after more time.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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I dated one guy ( OLD ) who wanted to take me back to meet his parents (who he lived with) on the first date !

 

My ex did this.

 

I was flattered actually.

 

I saw it as he really liked me and he really likes his family too and that was his attempt to have both at the same time in the same place. He was excited.

Popsicle Established Member

Popsicle

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I know, but after 3 hours seems strange. I could see doing this after more time.

 

You keep saying that over and over. Why don't you just dump him?

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Katz123 Member

Katz123

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You keep saying that over and over. Why don't you just dump him?

 

Because I do like him

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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In my opinion, no, this is not normal.

 

You've never spoken on the phone, never done so much as kiss, haven't really even had a proper date that lasted more than 60 minutes.

 

That is nowhere near enough information about someone to decide if he is boyfriend material. I don't necessarily think he's a "stalker" but it certainly would make me uneasy. I need to take my time learning about a person, their habits and behaviour patterns and future goals and out chemistry/compatibility together before deciding if a relationship is feasible. That is impossible in 3 hours. He's skipping past the important and necessary aspects of dating and I would be asking myself why that is. In my experience, it's not a positive sign.

 

You were very smart to pump the brakes on this and not blindly agree to be his girlfriend. You could keep seeing him if you want but I would tread cautiously and do a lot of observing.

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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Definitely not normal.

 

If you like him, see him again. But, definitely keep your eyes wide open and take your time building your relationship.

  • Like 1
Redhead14 Established Member

Redhead14

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He's 25. Exactly, like if he's shy and inexperienced I could handle that, but I am worried he may be a stalker. He hasn't shown any other stalker signs. He only spends an hour on dates and doesn't really ask me anything on dates. We haven't talked on the phone, just texted. He seems normal when we're out, however again only been 3 one hour dates. I just don't know why he asked me to be his girlfriend so soon, it seems ridiculous.

 

One hour per date? That's not a date. I find his gf request to be odd also. To me it seems like he went out, looking for a sex vibe, didn't get one after 3 attempts (3 dates is the bewitching hour according to some) and so was thinking that girls won't do it unless they are exclusive so he threw that option against the wall to see if it would stick.

 

He seems normal when we're out -- To you, normal is only spending an hour on a date 3 times and not conversing/asking questions????

 

You say you like him but how and why? Liking him with only having 3 hours with him, lacking in conversation, is almost as odd as him asking you to be his girlfriend.

 

Even if he's just inexperienced or out of practice, he'd at least want to spend more than hour if he was truly interested just because he likes you.

 

Move on from this one -- the scenario is just plain strange.

Edited by Redhead14
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act00 Established Member

act00

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My thought is he wants be sure you're not seeing other guys or will seek out other guys. It's more of an exclusive thing, though in my mind, exclusive and GF/BF are one in the same. I would say that if you really like him, just proceed with caution. I would express that the dates have been really short and so it seems a little fast to make this step. I would talk to him about these short dates.

CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

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What I find stranger than asking you to be his girlfriend after 3 dates is such short dates and asking no questions about you. What were you doing on these dates? Where were they?

 

I wouldn't be interested in someone who dated this way. He sounds weird.

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guest569 Established Member

guest569

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What I find stranger than asking you to be his girlfriend after 3 dates is such short dates and asking no questions about you. What were you doing on these dates? Where were they?

 

I wouldn't be interested in someone who dated this way. He sounds weird.

 

My thoughts exactly. I would probably not be happy with having to force the conversation the whole time after 3 dates. Did he ask you anything? Do you talk a lot?

  • Like 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

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Is he of the same culture as you?

 

I know people that in their culture you don't casually date, you meet once or twice than you decide if you are gf-bf.

 

If you like him then date him. If you don't want to be his gf than say no, you just want to date him for now. You make the rules.

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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So I met this guy on OLD and we went out 3 times, the first date he left after 45 min.

 

Some guys will say anything just to get laid.:lmao:

  • Like 3
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

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I'd be as equally worried that the dates were so short and then he left all three of them with lame excuses or none at all. That's as equally weird as him wanting to pin you down as his gf (and asking over the phone or was it text?). This is going to sound a little paranoid but do you think he is trying to make it to the 3 date mark & then throw in the bonus of calling you his gf to have sex? Anyway something's disconnected and off. I don't think you should stop seeing him--after all you know how to handle yourself, just proceed with caution. Anyway your response to him asking you to be his gf was good and his response to that wasn't bad. See how things play out. Make sure you get a date that's longer or more involved than a one hour (coffee?) one. See how you feel. The real answer of what you should do will come out soon enough. Good luck

  • Like 1
dumbass2 Established Member

dumbass2

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It's not a question of if I like him, it's a question of him asking me to be his gf after 3 hours normal?

 

No, it's not normal after 3 hours unless maybe this is a 13 year old boy. Bottom line is go at a pace you are comfortable with. Let him know that it's too soon and you want to get to know him a little more. If he's looking at you as relationship material then he'll be fine with it. Go on a few more dates but I would say that if he continues to cut them short and is not asking you questions to get to know you that there might be a good reason why he was engaged and it was called off.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Normal is a loaded word.

 

 

You are measuring the # of hours. He may be measuring the # of dates.

 

 

While a request to be exclusive after only 3 dates seems fast to me, to him it may signify a desire to make you exclusive because he sees you as a "good thing".

 

 

Since you said "not there yet" & he seemed OK with that, are you willing to keep dating him? Are you comfortable enough to say you want a 2 hour date & you'd like to get to know him better?

 

 

If the whole conversation, the abrupt dates, or even the medium (text) made you question your desire to be with him at all, just make a clean break.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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