Ahurtgirl Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 Found out my ex husband was gay after almost 20 years of marriage and while I was in another relationship with a married man. Now that both of my relationships are in the past, I am thinking about dating. I have no idea how to even start. I still have feeling for the married man but we have legal no contact provisions in place which is a good thing. He'll never be in my life again. Now my ex husband shares the home we have. He isn't pursuing a man at this time but gets hit on by other men often so that will work our for him in time. I really am at a lose. How do I even trust my heart to pick someone out who isn't either gay or married? They were the only two relationships I have ever been in. My ex gay husband is amazingly supportive and he had high hopes for me and my ex married man (that he would leave his wife for me) but it didn't work out.
GorillaTheater Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 I guess I'd start with you. Just looking at the surface of things, your two relationships were with men who were unavailable in some fashion, sexually or otherwise. That may be bad luck and says nothing about you, but on the other hand it sure might. It would be worth some introspection to determine how much it does say about you and what you want from a relationship. In any event, you're going to want to have a pretty clear idea about what you're seeking from dating before you plunge into the mechanics of how to go about it. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 I guess I'd start with you. Just looking at the surface of things, your two relationships were with men who were unavailable in some fashion, sexually or otherwise. That may be bad luck and says nothing about you, but on the other hand it sure might. It would be worth some introspection to determine how much it does say about you and what you want from a relationship. In any event, you're going to want to have a pretty clear idea about what you're seeking from dating before you plunge into the mechanics of how to go about it. Agree. Obviously the gay husband was not your fault, but choosing to be involved with a married man was. Some self reflection, particularly of your boundaries and character, is in order before you proceed with another relationship. 1
kendahke Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 Right now, what you need to be picking is a therapist, not a boyfriend. 3
PegNosePete Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 I still have feeling for the married man my ex husband shares the home we have I would work on sorting out these 2 issues before you even think about dating anyone else. 3
mikeylo Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 See a therapist and stay single till you are sorted. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 Right now, what you need to be picking is a therapist, not a boyfriend. Took the words right out of my mouth! 2
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