The_Grey Posted June 29, 2017 Posted June 29, 2017 (edited) Met a girl about a month ago. She told me she had broken up with a guy [let's say "Mike"] she was dating for a few months. Prior to that, she was with her ex-husband for 11 years. We got along like a house on fire and have many similar thoughts and values it seemed. Our situations are similar. I have two kids who live with me and she has 2 kids who live with her. We were basically messaging each other all day for the past month, and calling each other most nights for hours on end. We have been out several times, with and without the kids. The past week she has been telling me she is falling in love with me and cannot stop thinking of me and how amazing I am, etc. I thought this girl was wonderful and let her know it. Yesterday, she told me her last ex, Mike, was returning her clothes that he still had. She told me he would drop them off and then leave. I did not hear from her for several hours which is unusual of her. Then she messaged me and said she would call me soon. About 7 hours later she called me, while she was at the store. She told me her ex, Mike, couldn't take no for an answer and then finally accepted it and left. I told her I wanted to see her that night and she said no because she was tired. Again, unusual. She then sent me a serious of messages saying how much is she falling for me, and almost wants to tell me she is in love with me. She also kept telling me about how loyal she is, etc. She told me she would call me at a certain time that night. She never did and, again, hasn't returned my messages or calls. She then deactivated her Facebook. This behaviour is unusual of her based on the way she has been the past month. On a side note, she told me that the upcoming weekend will be busy for her as she has friends staying over and won't be able to contact me much. I am almost thinking that the ex really isn't an ex, but they are still seeing each other. He comes over, for what is suppose to be a minute but ends up staying for hours? She told me he left, but called me while she was at the store, not at home? I told her I was coming around, she shut me down and said not tonight. At night, she never contacted me. Deactivates her Facebook suddenly? Again, all unusual based on how she was every day prior to this. It makes me think he is there and she can't contact me because he is there. Mike apparently lives out of town and only comes down every so often, so it makes me further think that they are still dating and she is keeping me away every way possible so he won't find out. Hence also why she can't contact me this weekend...because he would be staying. Does this seem like I am being played? And if so, why would someone lie so much about such a thing? Edited June 29, 2017 by The_Grey 1
Gaeta Posted July 1, 2017 Posted July 1, 2017 You met a woman freshly out of a relationship that told you she was falling in love within 4 weeks dating then suddenly she is a no-show. We have 100s of stories like yours on here. When it starts like fireworks it dies like fireworks. That is why it's important to give people time when they break up. When you date someone freshly out of a relationship you are at high risk of being a rebound or just a consolation price till ex comes back. Of course she may have beleived to fall for you but her judgement was impared by being recently single. You have to know better, you have to look out for yourself because no one else will so next time no women recently out of relationships. As what to do now? Let her go. Don't contact her and just enjoy your weekend with your kids. Consider this over. She will probably use the coward way out and just disapper. I am sorry she was a waste of your time. 3
scooby-philly Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 As usual - totally agree with Gaeta. I've never heard or run across a ltr that came from a situation where the people met where at least 1 person was recently out of a relationship. I'm sure there are a few shining exceptions - but those are outliers, not the norm. If you can't let this go and need confirmation I would simply try to see if there's a way for you to confirm your suspicions. Of course, without being a complete stalker or fool. Like if she does get back at you and things go back to normal a little or more towards what i was, then it changes back again - see if you can go over there and find proof. Again - not necessarily knock on the door but if you have a babysitter, then just chill outside. But once more - I'd agree with Gaeta - let this go. Not only is it bad from the timing perspective, that sort of talk is unhealthy - in love 4 weeks in - like as adults that takes time - she's either unstable or she's too too fresh out of the relationship for things to make sense to her. 2
smackie9 Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Just never know what has happened....this Mike guy might be a real jealous jerk, and that's why she just simply shut everything down, has gone quiet, so he doesn't start harassing you. Maybe getting him out of her life has proved to be difficult. Whatever the case may be, back off, and just leave it. The ball is in her court to contact you again. If she does, then work towards making sure there is honest open communication between you. 1
Author The_Grey Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 Thank you alll for your answers. My suspicion was right. He posted something about them two together on her reactivated FaceBook. She then deactivated it quickly again. By the looks of it, the bf does not know about me or her cheating on him. I am yet to call the girl out on it. Maybe I shouldn't, and just walk away completely.
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 That would be up to you...maybe you need to call her out on it for closure.
coolheadal Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 Thank you alll for your answers. My suspicion was right. He posted something about them two together on her reactivated FaceBook. She then deactivated it quickly again. By the looks of it, the bf does not know about me or her cheating on him. I am yet to call the girl out on it. Maybe I shouldn't, and just walk away completely. Yes best to walk away, because doing anything else is not productive.
phineas Posted July 4, 2017 Posted July 4, 2017 just move on and ignore if she ever contact you again.
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