E-Roc Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 i'm 30, she's 27. we've dated for 5 years and the last 2 years have been LDR, only see each other about 6 days/month. no more initiation of sex or i love you on her part. she doesn't call me much anymore either. says she just use to me calling her. she often complains we don't do anything anymore. she wants me to move to where she is (4 hours away). she does not want to compromise and move to a place where we are both happy. i have friends where i live, she has none. she moved to a city where she knows nobody. she moved because of a job. i feel i'm the only one trying to keep us together. i told her we should take a break. she was upset but never offered to fix what was wrong in our relationship. since our break she told me she has meant some people so she won't feel so lonely. to top it all off, i just found out my stepfather has a 2 inch brain tumor and is going to be operated on tomorrow. i'm going to visit my family to be with them. what do you guys think?
d'Arthez Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 If there is no compromise possible, an LDR simply can't work - if you are the only one who is offering compromise, after compromise, but she does not want to consider them properly, I don't see things working in the long run. Add to that, that her behavior in other respects is less than satisfying for a LDR. It is hard to "just" move, and leave your whole life behind - it is unreasonable of her to demand you just do that - which is what she effective does. A relationship involves two persons, and if one person refuses to work on the relationship because she is content with the relationship as it is, you will keep on running into walls, time and again. And as long as that person does not make changes, you will keep taking breaks, because the issues have not been dealt with adequately. It seems she does not want to make the effort, because it is not worth it to do so in her mind, to risk anything for love. You have the situation of your step-father to deal with. That gives stress, regardless of your relationship status. Focus on the situation first with your step-father. If she is not open for compromise, she will have time to think it over now - and if she is still not open for compromise, after you have dealt adequately with this situation, you may need to break up indefinetely with her .
lvgrly Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 Originally posted by d'Arthez If there is no compromise possible, an LDR simply can't work - if you are the only one who is offering compromise, after compromise, but she does not want to consider them properly, I don't see things working in the long run. Add to that, that her behavior in other respects is less than satisfying for a LDR. It is hard to "just" move, and leave your whole life behind - it is unreasonable of her to demand you just do that - which is what she effective does. A relationship involves two persons, and if one person refuses to work on the relationship because she is content with the relationship as it is, you will keep on running into walls, time and again. And as long as that person does not make changes, you will keep taking breaks, because the issues have not been dealt with adequately. It seems she does not want to make the effort, because it is not worth it to do so in her mind, to risk anything for love. You have the situation of your step-father to deal with. That gives stress, regardless of your relationship status. Focus on the situation first with your step-father. If she is not open for compromise, she will have time to think it over now - and if she is still not open for compromise, after you have dealt adequately with this situation, you may need to break up indefinetely with her . I agree
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