LotusAvx Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 Okay, so it's a very simple question and I shouldn't be having to ask it But I am so afraid to talk to this guy I really like. We work in the same office and went through training together. He also went to my high school and knows my older sibling. I really like him and really attracted to him, but I am just so afraid to message him. Unfortunately, talking at work isn't really an option anymore because he sits in a completely different area of a huge office. I want to send him a message on Facebook (since he added me) but I don't know what to say and don't want to seem too forward by saying "hey, I like you, let's hangout sometime." I am trying to tell myself that life is too short and to just do it, that I have nothing to lose, but part of me also tells me that I'll be rejected. Or that if he likes me, I should let him message me, but the things is, he might be just as scared as I am Thanks for any advice!
basil67 Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 If you're in the same (large) office, you must pass each other on occasion. Does he greet you if he sees you? Do the two of you make small talk?
Author LotusAvx Posted June 27, 2017 Author Posted June 27, 2017 No we never pass each other sadly He starts at a different time than I do. I'm sure if I saw him, we'd say hi how's it going, as we have before!
SammySammy Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 (edited) Life is too short. Just do it. You have nothing to lose. Seriously. Just find something you have in common and start a convo about that. The worst case scenario is you'll end up without a guy ... that you never had. Nothing ventured. Nothing gained. Edited June 27, 2017 by MidKnightDreams 2
Jenn2 Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 I would make it a point to see him and ask how he has been! Mention that you guys should go grab coffee or a drink one night and catch up! 2
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 You can't just message him out of the blue. Start saying hi when you pass him in the hall at work. Can you manage to have lunch with him? If people are going out after work, you can message to include him in the group. 2
CptInsano Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 You don't need a reason to introduce yourself at work, you can simply say: "Hi, I'm Grace in accounting, and I noticed you the other day. What do you do here?" 1
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 "Hi, I'm Grace in accounting, and I noticed you the other day. What do you do here?" She went to HS with him, he knows her sister & they went through training together. She can't act like she just noticed him. I suppose you could say something like "my sister says hi" 1
CptInsano Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 She went to HS with him, he knows her sister & they went through training together. She can't act like she just noticed him. I suppose you could say something like "my sister says hi" Then it's even easier. I mean, she has all the excuses in the world to talk to him. 2
Versacehottie Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 Okay, so it's a very simple question and I shouldn't be having to ask it But I am so afraid to talk to this guy I really like. We work in the same office and went through training together. He also went to my high school and knows my older sibling. I really like him and really attracted to him, but I am just so afraid to message him. Unfortunately, talking at work isn't really an option anymore because he sits in a completely different area of a huge office. I want to send him a message on Facebook (since he added me) but I don't know what to say and don't want to seem too forward by saying "hey, I like you, let's hangout sometime." I am trying to tell myself that life is too short and to just do it, that I have nothing to lose, but part of me also tells me that I'll be rejected. Or that if he likes me, I should let him message me, but the things is, he might be just as scared as I am Thanks for any advice! Since he added you, that's already positive signs from his end. I think it's totally normal to respond to him adding you (assuming he did that once he started working where you do right?) by saying "hey, let's hangout sometime". which is what you said above minus the "I like you". That can be implied. The vagueness, in this case, is your friend. It could be a friendly gesture, it could mean you like him--no one needs to define anything at this point--you just hang out. The easiest scenario is to ask him to hang out at lunch or just after work and tie it in with work, such as telling him you want to welcome him to the company, nice to have a friendly face there or give him the lay of the land or are doing something fun after work and wanted to invite him--something like that, worded better, mine sucks today. Simple though. At worst you will gain a work friend; at best it will be the love of your life. You have nothing to lose. Baby steps and start off friendly, flirty that usually does the trick. Good luck
scooby-philly Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Yeah - I got to disagree with Donnivain for once. Yeah - there's nothing to lose. If you're uncomfortable using the straight out ask - wrap - then message him on FB with something like "oh hey - I was talking to my sister about the work the other day, I mentioned how we went through training together - she says hi and was wondering how you are doing". Or...you can ask him how he's doing and what he thought of the training. Trust me, I started as a HS teacher and now lead Sales training for one of the 100 biggest companies in the world. Everyone loves to talk about education/training. Just don't let the opportunity pass you bye and don't let the fear of rejection stop you. Just use one of the things you have in common to start a conversation. 1
smackie9 Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 I'm sure you will figure out something....remember he's just a guy.
mortensorchid Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 If you at least want to physically see him, pass by once or twice in the hallways and make eye contact and smile at him when you do. That's really all you can do.
girlinNYC Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Okay, so it's a very simple question and I shouldn't be having to ask it But I am so afraid to talk to this guy I really like. We work in the same office and went through training together. He also went to my high school and knows my older sibling. I really like him and really attracted to him, but I am just so afraid to message him. Unfortunately, talking at work isn't really an option anymore because he sits in a completely different area of a huge office. I want to send him a message on Facebook (since he added me) but I don't know what to say and don't want to seem too forward by saying "hey, I like you, let's hangout sometime." I am trying to tell myself that life is too short and to just do it, that I have nothing to lose, but part of me also tells me that I'll be rejected. Or that if he likes me, I should let him message me, but the things is, he might be just as scared as I am Thanks for any advice! He added you on Facebook, definitely an encouraging sign. Just send a casual "hey, thanks for the request!" message. He will see that as you being friendly and simply thanking him. It isn't forward if you use low key language. You're not telling the guy you want to marry him, date him, etc. Reality is; you can't wait around. You're only punishing yourself by holding back. Get a conversation happening and then leave the next one up to him. You will definitely gauge if he is or isn't interested at that point, then you'll never have to wonder again.
rushed Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Start liking things he posts on facebook. That should initially pique his attention. It's easy and relatively harmless.
Maggie4 Posted July 2, 2017 Posted July 2, 2017 Are you allowed to get up from your chair and walk over to where he sits. I mean, you are allowed to go to the bathroom, right? Why not walk over? A woman's smile goes a lot further than a text message.
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