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Online Profiles to avoid....


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Posted

I think u'r right about that average JenJen - that is in the U.S. though. Look around everyone....you don't see any two people who look alike - hair, face, body type. I've sat and "people-watched" and subconsciously categorized or stereotyped them and it's almost impossible because they would all need their own category in my opinion.

 

My exH and my exBF were both bald (this isn't the reason they are ex's). I went online and swore I'd find my mister perfect hot guy with hair just for once. I went out with one guy who had hair but no personality. I met another guy with hair, but works alot and has no time to go out on a date. The 3rd guy .... no hair (very little). But he's absolutely adorable, and cuddly and he has a tummy that I can rest my head on - so maybe I'm just attracted to bald guys...i think it just works out that way....the personalities.

 

One site I was on actually had an option for hair colour ...blonde, brown, gray, hair? what hair. Guys were usually honest when it came to that option.

 

But I won't go out with a guy who has bigger boobs than me!

Posted
I'm 38 divorced with 1 child and I'm not looking for a father for my child = looking for a father for my child or means needy

 

HEY!! LOL.. I used that one myself.. but the age is different.. this after I had some guy tell me that he wanted to be a father to my daughter.. uh.. she has a dad.. so technically she doesn' t need one.. that doesn't mean i'm needy.. lol.. damn it.. lol..

:p

Posted

my next dating profile will go as follow:

 

"I'm 35, single mom who doesn't need a father for her daughter..

 

i'm fat, was fat and will continue to be "fat.. so deal with it.

 

I don't pay for date not now not ever as i'm broke as hell so "deal with it"

 

I don't hook up for sex.. uh.. yup you guessed it.. deal with it..

 

I don't do married men.. why take on another woman's problems.. i have enough of my own..

 

I don't do Illegal aliens.. last illegal alien I married almost got me booted out of my own country.. long story.. go find someone else to give you a green card..

 

and.. last but not least..

 

my perfect man must be 80, rich with no family and have one foot in the grave.. oh.. you can't die before i'm listed on your will.."

 

:D how many responses will I get to that one.. LOLOLOL.. :D

Posted

If you left the 80 yr old stuff out I bet more than you would expect--most 80 yr old men are not browsing the personal ads.

Posted
Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

Actually, the average woman (at least in the US) is 5'3" and 142 pounds and a size 14. I remember reading this somewhere. Oh, that useless information. :)

 

Daaamn. It's like that latest Daily Show where Jon Stewart is describing a new, much larger commercial jet to be put into use:

 

"The new plane can hold 400 passengers... or 200 Americans." :laugh:

Posted
:lmao: that was funny..
Posted
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

 

I don't have any pictures.. I promise that's true= I'm ugly

 

Yes, I've tried online dating, gotten a few responses from girls with no pictures & when I get pictures they always turn out ugly (or fat). So I've decided I'm not responding to any more without pictures. Call me shallow or whatever but saying that looks don't (or shouldn't) matter is just not realistic.

Posted

I want to fall in love = I am commitment phobic

I am down to earth = I am poor

Fun loving = I change women more often than my underwear

Easy going = you won't get to know me that well anyway

No drugs please = my ex was a drug addict

I want a woman who's beautiful on the inside and outside = her vagina is beautiful on the inside and on the outside

I love to kiss = I can't get it up

Tired of drama = I am an a**h***

Posted

This thread is hillarious :laugh::laugh::laugh:

Originally posted by tanbark813

"The new plane can hold 400 passengers... or 200 Americans." :laugh:

:lmao: ....and with an avatar showing him scarfing down a jumbo dog :laugh:

Posted
Originally posted by Rosalind

This thread is hillarious :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

:lmao: ....and with an avatar showing him scarfing down a jumbo dog :laugh:

 

Baby, that's 12 inches of hot, meaty goodness from the local Garlic festival. ;)

 

 

:D

Posted
Originally posted by tanbark813

Baby, that's 12 inches of hot, meaty goodness

 

Whew! It suddenly got warm in here.

Posted
Originally posted by jen_jen_heartbroken

Whew! It suddenly got warm in here.

is it getting moist down there J_J_HB? :)

  • Author
Posted

I Loved this thread : !! I want to fall in love = I am commitment phobic

I am down to earth = I am poor

Fun loving = I change women more often than my underwear

Easy going = you won't get to know me that well anyway

No drugs please = my ex was a drug addict

I want a woman who's beautiful on the inside and outside = her vagina is beautiful on the inside and on the outside

I love to kiss = I can't get it up

Tired of drama = I am an a**h***

~~~~~~~~

Thanks for making me laugh ~!

  • Author
Posted

Online User names :

 

HungLikeAHorse = Yeowch ! ( or he's exagerating lol )

 

Lonelylooking4U-soPleasebemy-GF= Too needy

 

SerialKilla = At least he's honest about it.. haha...

 

OnehotBigPimp-ALLnight= Someone's going to be sore in the morning..

 

BigDADDY4you= He may be Big but maybe not where you want it ....

Posted
Originally posted by Mary3

SerialKilla = At least he's honest about it.. haha...

BigDADDY4you= He may be Big but maybe not where you want it ....

 

:lmao:

 

incurably romantic = medications don't help him :D

Posted
Originally posted by Mary3

BigDADDY4you= He may be Big but maybe not where you want it ....

BigDADDY4you = I have a huugggggggggee..ego

 

I'm emotionally and mentally stable = I am on the highest dosage of Prozac

 

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Rosalind :bunny:

Posted

:lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

 

oh my goodness.. i just shot water outta my nose.. lolololol..

Posted

...wait a sec...

 

I'm 5'2 and 140 lbs but i'm only a size 6 or 8 depending on what body part I'm fitting. Must be them damn muscles again! :p

Posted
Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40

...wait a sec...

 

I'm 5'2 and 140 lbs but i'm only a size 6 or 8 depending on what body part I'm fitting. Must be them damn muscles again! :p

Well, you're a small size because you are petite...and likely in good shape. Muscles weigh more than fat.

 

Rosalind :bunny:

Posted
Originally posted by Rosalind

[color=navy]Well, you're a small size because you are petite...and likely in good shape. Muscles weigh more than fat.

[/color]

 

Huge rationalization. A professional female bodybuilder who is 5'2 will still weigh between 115-125. Muscle may weigh more than fat, but it's damn hard to pack on.

 

That's a good one. The "athletic" body type:

 

Guys - Chubby softball player.

 

Girls - Chubby, butch-looking softball player.

Posted

I made a date with my Online guy before I saw the "Athletic" comment in his profile. He is in good shape, but he's also 45 and has a tummy and doesn't participate in as many sports as he used to. I think he could have said "A few extra pounds" but maybe he hasn't noticed yet.

 

My goal weight is 125 but when I weigh that I find it hard to find clothes in my size and I'm always cold (excuses excuses, eh? lol). I have put on a bit around the middle (from some meds I was on last year) or maybe it's just age catching up. Either way I am happy with the way I look and guys hate it when I complain about my "few extra lbs". I watch what I eat, but it IS summer and beer goes good with everything :o

 

 

fun-loving = "I'm into S&M"

Posted

I'm 5'9' 150lbs.. and I try not to date women that weigh more than me :laugh:

 

In real life to me curvy woman is a woman about 120-140lbs with great features.. :)

 

But on the internet curvy mean 170-190lbs way more than I want my date to be..

 

and a few pounds means 200+ on the internet but in real life a few pounds means a few pounds.

 

I think that a woman who is around 140-150 lbs should put average on her profile.. Not curvy..

 

It is really funny how the weight/age issue is expounded on the internet.. People just need to tell the truth.. I always have..

Posted
Originally posted by A Fly onThe Wall

In real life to me curvy woman is a woman about 120-140lbs with great features.. :)

 

But on the internet curvy mean 170-190lbs way more than I want my date to be..

 

and a few pounds means 200+ on the internet but in real life a few pounds means a few pounds.

 

I think that a woman who is around 140-150 lbs should put average on her profile.. Not curvy..

 

It is really funny how the weight/age issue is expounded on the internet.. People just need to tell the truth.. I always have..

 

Or, here's a novel idea - people could list their weight instead of body type, and toss up a picture.

 

Of course, they could still lie and use old or totally fake pics, but at least they'd be exposed as liars rather than "generous with adjectives," as is the current situation.

Posted

Fly, you are assuming that all women are the same height. My best friend is 5'10" and 175 lbs, but she looks very fit and trim. By your standard she would be too fat, which couldn't be further from the truth.

Posted
Originally posted by scratch

Of course, they could still lie and use old or totally fake pics,

 

It happened to me once.. Someone used a 10 year old picture and she had gained not a few pounds but at least 200 lbs

 

You want to talk about shock !! :eek: _:sick: _:eek:

 

I am very much wiser theses days..

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