Does it seem like she wants me?

[CasualDude10]

So two weeks ago I started a new summer job where I met this girl. Turns out she is a year younger than me and down right gorgeous. (Im 23 shes 22). Upon meeting her we hit it off, great conversation with her asking me a lot of questions. Turns out we have a lot in common and actually know a lot of the same people, but never met prior to this. Also I found out she has a boyfriend of about 4-5 months.

 

So, last week was our first full week of working together. I ended up getting her phone number which started off as just conversations regarding work. By the end of the week we were texting more with flirtatious conversation about her asking me about any girlfriends I had and her teasing me she was going to hook me up with this not so attractive girl at work. Friday, she texted me to come hangout with her and her friends at a local bar, which I could not go because I had prior plans. She texted me all night and I ended up falling asleep and I woke up to like 2-3 texts including her asking me where I ended up going that night. I texted her Saturday and she did not respond until Sunday, and she said that she was having a "wonderful time designated driving for her boyfriend and his drunk friends" and she ended up talking with me all day Sunday.

 

Today at work she seemed normal and was seemingly flirtatious and following me around (I drift around on purpose and sit somewhere just to see if she does too, and usually she does). As soon as we left work, she snap chatted me literally 15mins after we left saying "nap time" with a selfie of her self. To which I responded, "miss me already, we just left!" teasing. She opened it, but did not respond but I know she has class right now.

 

Basically, does it seem like this girl is feeling me or just being nice because we are co workers? She was aggressive and wanted to hangout friday, but today at work I said something about going up north with a group of people and I this weekend and she sort of shied away saying "like I want to see you after work" in a flirtatious way, but still shied away from it. If it does seem like shes feeling me, how do I go about this?

 

I feel like she sort of hopped into the relationship she is in right now, and is kind of feeling me. But she never bad mouths her current bf. For instance, on his bday she posted a pic of her and him (in all of their pics they look awkward in) and all it said was "Happy birthday to this kind beer loving man". Which seems to me like no heart for someone you are dating.

 

(One side note I forgot to include was last thursday was her bf birthday, and she was texting me all that night)

Edited June 26, 2017 by CasualDude10

[CasualDude10]

any feedback?

[d0nnivain]

It sounds like she is open to cheating on her BF with you. Either that or she is one of those who jumps from 1 relationship to the next with no time or reflection in between.

 

Plus dating a co worker even in a summer job can be tricky. If you are going back to school after the summer does she really seem like the type of person who could be faithful in an LDR

 

Proceed with caution. You are wading into a real mess here.

[tetrahedral]

Sounds like she's lining you up for when she dumps the bf.

[CasualDude10]

I am feeling her so I'm going to pursue it some more. But do you guys think I should limit the conversations on the phone to build more attraction or keep talking to her via text/snap chat?

 

Today she hasn't hmu yet, I don't want to over pursue her and turn her off

[Scarlett.O'hara]

Are you seriously asking for advice for how to get a girl to cheat on her boyfriend?

 

Why would anyone here want to be complicit in something so dishonest and hurtful. Look around the forum and see the damage cheating does to people and consider the implications of what you are doing.

[CasualDude10]

Are you seriously asking for advice for how to get a girl to cheat on her boyfriend?

 

Why would anyone here want to be complicit in something so dishonest and hurtful. Look around the forum and see the damage cheating does to people and consider the implications of what you are doing.

 

I never once said anything about cheating. I'm stating the signs she is showing me and saying I'm feeling her. I know her bf, I went to school with him and he's the biggest Dbag I know.

[todreaminblue]

I never once said anything about cheating. I'm stating the signs she is showing me and saying I'm feeling her. I know her bf, I went to school with him and he's the biggest Dbag I know.

 

 

do you feel going for a girl who is taken is not a dirt bag act......how would you feel.....it doesn't matter what you think of the guy she is with ,If you have known him all your life or not what matters is you treat any guys gf how you would expect other guys to treat yours......

 

 

so

 

if you want to have a gf in the future, other guys flirt with behind your back...and a gf who doesn't respect you enough not to flirt back and emotionally cheat on you...then keep going the way you are....you might even end up with her...but if you want a true relationship with a loving partner you can trust... be that trustworthy guy.....who respects a relationship status even if he doesn't like the guy who is in it..

 

you know what's right....so do that....deb

[CasualDude10]

So I recently met this girl about three weeks ago. I was instantly attracted to her and work a summer job with her. Comes to find out she has a boyfriend but has been, which seems like, pursuing me extremely hard. She'll naturally gravitate towards me at work, flirt, etc. She even got my phone number and texts me after work every day flirting and even added me on snapchat. So last week she asked me out to a bar to hangout with her friends but I could not. Two days ago, this past Thursday night, she asked me again and I said sure and decided to meet up with her and her best friend and her boyfriend. When I got there, she started buying me shots and although she wasn't physically touching me, she was flirting hardcore. Also, she was texting her bf throughout the night.

 

Before we left, as we were in the parking lot, she came and gave me a hug and her bestfriends boyfriend shouted over "Don't worry man, I already like you more than her boyfriend, the guys a dbag!" and she looked embarrassed and ran over and pushed the guy.

 

[private content redacted]

 

What do you think is going on? She has a bf and says she is feeling him but is also 100% attracted to me, says I have a great personality and great chemistry with her, and continues to be flirtatious with me, pursues me, and invites me out even though she knows itd upset her boyfriend.

 

Yesterday she snapchatted me acting normal and we talked for a couple hours then I didn't respond and still haven't yet this morning.

 

Im feeling her too, but dont know how to act upon this. I feel like less is more and should back off of her for a bit.

Edited July 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Private content redacted ~6

[divegrl]

She IS playing with you, teasing you, having fun.....

 

She will NOT leave her boyfriend nor have sex with you.....

 

You are an orbiter. Choose you next step carefully.

 

Good luck my friend!!!!

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

I think she was drunk when she was texting you. She wants your attention, but doesn't want you to expect anything from her until she's no longer with [her boyfriend], if that ever happens. So, keep liking her and thinking she's pretty and offering compliments and attention if she gives you the nod to do so, but don't go getting any ideas that she wants to date you. Ya know, unless she breaks up with [her boyfriend], then you should be there waiting.

Edited July 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Private content redacted ~6

[CasualDude10]

thanks for the feedback so far, its good to get others perspectives of the situation

[Redhead14]

[] She invited you out with other friends . . . that's not going to get back to him??????? She's d*cking the boyfriend around. She's not getting what she wants from him or he's backing off and so she's trying to send him a message. Don't let yourself get pulled in between those two. It won't end well for you.

Edited July 1, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redacted response to deleted private content ~6

[anika99]

She is playing games because she loves attention. She is into her boyfriend and wants him but she also wants you to chase her because it strokes her ego and makes her feel good

[preraph]

One thing you know about her is she will cheat on whoever she's with, so I don't know why you'd want her. If she'll do it to him she'll do it to you.

[Ieris]

Swinging from one branch to the next... flirt if you want but don't take it any further because what she's doing to him she'll eventually do to you.

[CasualDude10]

I have known this girl for 3-4 weeks now. We have the best chemistry I have ever seen. She told me she is 100% attracted to me and I have the best personality she has ever seen. She asked for my number, my snapchat, my social media, etc. She hits me up every morning first and we talk basically all day. She hints at wanting to kiss me and hanging out with me. Everything seems perfect right?

 

Wrong, and here is the issue.

 

She has a boyfriend. She has been dating this guy for 4-5months. She will never talk bad about him.

 

We hung out twice alone which were all her idea. After the first time we hungout, she tried to friend zone me, which I said "i am not looking to be friends, but we can still act normal to each other" to which she confessed she liked me etc. but has a boyfriend and wants to focus on him.

 

two days later, she hmu at like midnight basically in tears because "her boyfriend never spends time with her, what is wrong with her, he went to fireworks with me but left me to third wheel so he could go party with his friends" etc.

 

Since then she has been more flirtier and now even texts me when she is with him, saying she is bored and to come save her, which she never did before. We hung out yesterday and before I left I asked her if she wanted to come over to watch a movie. She said no because she knows we'd do stuff and does not want to cheat.

 

So basically I am stuck. I like her, she is pursuing me hard, she likes me, but really out of respect for her and her wishes not to cheat, I will not make a physical move on her. I just do not know what to do. Today she has already hit me up to go to the beach with her. I think she maybe using me for the lack of attention her boyfriend gives her. Like do you think I should giver her an ultimatum? or keep going with the flow and see where it goes?

 

(she also does not want me to tell anyone she hangs out because she does not want it getting back to her bf that we do)

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Yes. She needs to make a choice here. I would refuse to communicate with her until she is a completely free woman. Maybe you'll still be around, maybe you won't.

[Redhead14]

I have known this girl for 3-4 weeks now. We have the best chemistry I have ever seen. She told me she is 100% attracted to me and I have the best personality she has ever seen. She asked for my number, my snapchat, my social media, etc. She hits me up every morning first and we talk basically all day. She hints at wanting to kiss me and hanging out with me. Everything seems perfect right?

 

Wrong, and here is the issue.

 

She has a boyfriend. She has been dating this guy for 4-5months. She will never talk bad about him.

 

We hung out twice alone which were all her idea. After the first time we hungout, she tried to friend zone me, which I said "i am not looking to be friends, but we can still act normal to each other" to which she confessed she liked me etc. but has a boyfriend and wants to focus on him.

 

two days later, she hmu at like midnight basically in tears because "her boyfriend never spends time with her, what is wrong with her, he went to fireworks with me but left me to third wheel so he could go party with his friends" etc.

 

Since then she has been more flirtier and now even texts me when she is with him, saying she is bored and to come save her, which she never did before. We hung out yesterday and before I left I asked her if she wanted to come over to watch a movie. She said no because she knows we'd do stuff and does not want to cheat.

 

So basically I am stuck. I like her, she is pursuing me hard, she likes me, but really out of respect for her and her wishes not to cheat, I will not make a physical move on her. I just do not know what to do. Today she has already hit me up to go to the beach with her. I think she maybe using me for the lack of attention her boyfriend gives her. Like do you think I should giver her an ultimatum? or keep going with the flow and see where it goes?

 

(she also does not want me to tell anyone she hangs out because she does not want it getting back to her bf that we do)

 

No, you don't give an ultimatum. You two are not in a relationship and you haven't been physical so you just tell her you're moving on. What's she's doing is inappropriate and it should be a red flag to you . . . if this is how she handles relationships, who will she be chasing when she's tired of you.

[BaileyB]

Dude, she has a boyfriend. Tell her to call you, when she doesn't have a boyfriend.

 

And yes, what she is doing should definitely be a red flag for you. If she will do it with you, she will do it to you.

[Popsicle]

Just tell her to contact you when she no longer has a boyfriend, then stop responding to her texts.

[smackie9]

She's not going to give up her BF. All she is, is an emotional succubus. Stop being a sorry sap and ditch her already.

 

While we are at it here....stop mackin on unavailable girls.

[Gaeta]

What she does to her boyfriend she will eventually do to you.

 

No you are not stuck at all, you are free to block and delete her.

[coolheadal]

I have known this girl for 3-4 weeks now. We have the best chemistry I have ever seen. She told me she is 100% attracted to me and I have the best personality she has ever seen. She asked for my number, my snapchat, my social media, etc. She hits me up every morning first and we talk basically all day. She hints at wanting to kiss me and hanging out with me. Everything seems perfect right?

 

Wrong, and here is the issue.

 

She has a boyfriend. She has been dating this guy for 4-5months. She will never talk bad about him.

 

We hung out twice alone which were all her idea. After the first time we hungout, she tried to friend zone me, which I said "i am not looking to be friends, but we can still act normal to each other" to which she confessed she liked me etc. but has a boyfriend and wants to focus on him.

 

two days later, she hmu at like midnight basically in tears because "her boyfriend never spends time with her, what is wrong with her, he went to fireworks with me but left me to third wheel so he could go party with his friends" etc.

 

Since then she has been more flirtier and now even texts me when she is with him, saying she is bored and to come save her, which she never did before. We hung out yesterday and before I left I asked her if she wanted to come over to watch a movie. She said no because she knows we'd do stuff and does not want to cheat.

 

So basically I am stuck. I like her, she is pursuing me hard, she likes me, but really out of respect for her and her wishes not to cheat, I will not make a physical move on her. I just do not know what to do. Today she has already hit me up to go to the beach with her. I think she maybe using me for the lack of attention her boyfriend gives her. Like do you think I should giver her an ultimatum? or keep going with the flow and see where it goes?

 

(she also does not want me to tell anyone she hangs out because she does not want it getting back to her bf that we do)

 

She is cheating no matter what she tells you. There is emotional and physical you have only emotional cheating. She's using you for her escape of love. She really loves the boy friend but he's doing what he wants. She'll never give up him. Why because she been with him longer your too knew you could give-up on her anytime. You can have fun with her but as a friend. But you don't need another friend. These type of friendship are awful for us men. You can say whatever you want she's not going to tell you the truth why deal with this toxic so call non-relationship she's a mess and will just drain you all the life force energy out of you. You go from Healthy Ego to unhealthy Ego with this sort of girl. She's no good trash, because what she's doing she could do with you in a heart beat with someone else. Like another guy. Not being use this way it doesn't make sense to deal with her. If the real boy friend finds out about you he might go have it out with you. Just don't know what the heck your getting involved with. She won't stand by you at all if you and the real boy friend get into it... Trust me I've been there too.. Do not talk to her about this move on..

[OnlyHonesty]

Your ego that swells from the attention this woman gives you, is making you blind to her true nature. She has demonstrated that she is not loyal, lacks self control, lacks boundaries, and is dishonest. Above all, she has clearly shown you that she is not gf material.

 

Look beyond your own ego by acknowledging how her attention makes you feel, and then acknowledge that which is beyond that attention. She is showing you who she is...listen to her.