angel.eyes Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 You met him two weeks ago. There is no relationship here, especially given his life is littered with his GF's hair brush, anime posters, girly curtains and throw pillows, pink spatulas, work ID, etc. Keep it simple: "It's been great getting to know you over the past two weeks, but we aren't a match. Good luck dating!" Nothing more is needed here. If he starts begging, wheedling, coaxing, "explaining," or whatever, state firmly that there is nothing to discuss. You aren't a match, wish him goodbye, and walk away. Block, delete, whatever. Let him take his nonsense elsewhere. 2
DragonzRoost Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 Ask him politely to slowly replace her things and watch for his reaction. I know a lot of people may disagree with this, but I've been in a very similar situation before. If he becomes frantic that could be a sign she is still around.
d0nnivain Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 I have never had to break up with someone lol. This is a dumb question but how do I go about ending this? Should I call him out on his lies? Should I bring up the Facebook snooping? Should I let her know that he is bringing other girls in her apartment? I have proof (pics of both of us in his room) Leave her out of this. She is not your concern. You don't even know her. I'd tell him that his explanations about all this stuff don't make sense. Nobody leaves their work id behind in a break up. If he's willing to at least box up all her stuff maybe, you can consider staying. Do not take it upon yourself to throw out objects that don't belong to you. 1
Author Charmed22 Posted June 27, 2017 Author Posted June 27, 2017 (edited) You met him two weeks ago. There is no relationship here, especially given his life is littered with his GF's hair brush, anime posters, girly curtains and throw pillows, pink spatulas, work ID, etc. Keep it simple: "It's been great getting to know you over the past two weeks, but we aren't a match. Good luck dating!" Nothing more is needed here. If he starts begging, wheedling, coaxing, "explaining," or whatever, state firmly that there is nothing to discuss. You aren't a match, wish him goodbye, and walk away. Block, delete, whatever. Let him take his nonsense elsewhere. Im going to do that. It makes more sense to bow out of this while I can rather than keep spending time with him, allowing him to meet my friends, etc. Only to end up hurt in the end. Id rather leave while its easy for me. The only thing Im curious now is why would he allow me over with all that stuff in plain sight? Surely he isn't an idiot and knows that seeing that is a red flag. Also showing me where he lives when I told him as a gf I make unannounced visits. Thats risky and downright dumb to do if you have a live in girlfriend. And to allow me in sight of the roommate?? I t makes more sense to keep me out of there at all cost and only come over to my place. Most guys would bounce after getting sex, or look to me as a casual thing rather than taking me on dates and pushing to be in a relationship. Why allow me to post photos of us, become fb official, he even talked of plans to introduce me to his friends on July 4th. I mean if its simply cheating and sex then there are much much easier ways to go about that especially for a guy as good looking as he is on an online dating site..Thats the only factor behind me wanting to give Edited June 27, 2017 by Charmed22
Gaeta Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 Im going to do that. It makes more sense to bow out of this while I can rather than keep spending time with him, allowing him to meet my friends, etc. Only to end up hurt in the end. Id rather leave while its easy for me. The only thing Im curious now is why would he allow me over with all that stuff in plain sight? Surely he isn't an idiot and knows that seeing that is a red flag. It makes more sense to keep me out of there at all cost and only come over to my place. Most guys would bounce after getting sex, or look to me as a casual thing rather than taking me on dates and pushing to be in a relationship. Why allow me to post photos of us, become fb official, he even talked of plans to introduce me to his friends on July 4th. I mean if its simply cheating and sex then there are much much easier ways to go about that especially for a guy as good looking as he is on an online dating site.. In my opinion it's not about still dating her and you at the same time. I think he is too freshly out of this relationship. He is still living in her things by his side when he goes to bed, and still seeing her things in his closets and bathroom, as if she had never left. Why? probably because it brings him comfort. You want to date a man that lives in an apartment that's a shrine to his ex? 1
angel.eyes Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 He'll be on to the next very shortly! Why does it matter, why he didn't bother to hide anything? Some cheaters prefer to cheat in plain sight. All that matters is in the two weeks you've known him, you've caught him in lie after lie, and he cheats. Unless you like drama and dealing with people who lie to you constantly, just move on. 1
DragonzRoost Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 Also you could leave signs of yourself at his place, like hairbands, spray perfume, Tampons in the trash, condom wrappers in places he won't see it, your jewelry and see what happens. If those things go missing that is a huge sign that he is still with this girl..I think fairly obvious. 1
angel.eyes Posted June 27, 2017 Posted June 27, 2017 Or go find a guy without a flowery quilt on his bed and a girly apron appearing on the kitchen on your second visit! That's a way better option IMO. Who needs haunted jewelry that moves from boxes on the bedroom dresser to the bathroom counter between your visits? 1
kendahke Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 Also you could leave signs of yourself at his place, like hairbands, spray perfume, Tampons in the trash, condom wrappers in places he won't see it, your jewelry and see what happens. If those things go missing that is a huge sign that he is still with this girl..I think fairly obvious. Or you don't play silly games and you just leave. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 When I met my wife, she was still sharing a house with her ex-bf. He didn't move out for almost a year, when their lease was up. Since he didn't mind me staying over, etc., it was clear they were done. Your situation is a little different, because you don't have confirmation that she's really gone and their relationship is over. How can people stomach these situations? I would be out in 2 seconds flat if I met someone that was living with their ex. Maybe this is why I am still single. 1
central Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 How can people stomach these situations? I would be out in 2 seconds flat if I met someone that was living with their ex. Maybe this is why I am still single. It didn't bother me at all. She was exceptionally compatible, I trusted her, I met her ex and he impressed me as a decent guy (just not compatible with her), and he had no issues with me being around a lot - so, there was nothing to worry about as far as I was concerned. And I was right. 2
Purepony Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 If I were in your shoes I would just simply run and don't look back. She won't run because she's attracted to him! Once attraction is they'll Put up with any and all kinds of nonsense 1
Purepony Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 Two weeks dating, it's not worth all this drama, just leave him. Why would a woman stick around all this after only 2 weeks dating? Plain and simple because she's attracted to him 1
kendahke Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 She won't run because she's attracted to him! Once attraction is they'll Put up with any and all kinds of nonsense Yep. With some people, once the hook is firmly in the cheek, they stop trying to get away and will go to great lengths to convince themselves that being in a messy situation with someone who clearly has unfinished business with someone else is in their best interests. It's also called "I want what I want, damb the consequences".
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