sadandconfused Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 Have you guys ever thought guys are strange? I have this problem. I live with my boyfriend but he always sees me with him so he stopped always listening to me and being with me, like he would do his own things like watch tv, play video games or go online. And if I ask to go online he will say im controlling his computer hours. So then now im at home hes in portugal, but dont take me wrong he called me on the phone to say happy annaversary,from portugal for 2 minutes. A serbian dating a portugese hehehhee. Content Well then when I left back home to visit my mom he started calling me all the time an saying i miss u an i wish u were here. now i feel kinda wierd its like he said to me he couldnt sleep with out me he had trouble sleping hes used to me here. I do miss him im going back the 10th hes going back the 9th to him and I dont know. Since ive been away since july 27th do you think hes going to start paying attention to me again? And how can i get him to like want me more? well anyways please repond thanks.. someone responded to me earlier an gave me advice asking me how long we've been together an here is the last full story. Well he does do things with me just not ALL the time he used to do stuff with me but sometimes i just felt like he was ignoring me. He even told me when he went online to sit next to him and when i did he didnt even talk to me he read his sports articles and ignored me. and then when i make a fit or start crying then he would come up to me an hug me an say he loves me then he would listen to me. Our annaversary just came so its 4 years now. Im having doubts hoping he wont cheat on me since hes in portugal right now, he wont go with another girl or get drunk all that stuff that he doesnt do normally anyways hes never cheated on me. Probably just looked at porn ive see it in the history but he says he never does it.. right. it hurts too. but i cant talk to him about it he wont understand i i say dont look at other girls he yells at me an says Im not! When we go to the mall together like every Tuesdays he looks at other girls it makes me feel like im not pretty. and i dont know when i tell him to stop then he says he wasnt doing anything, but i see him checking out the brunette girls from behind, i think its rude and annoys me. he does give me attention half the day but the other half he doesnt. like when he comes home from work he goes stragiht to the computer he doesnt bother to stop by an give me a hug or talk to me. i dont really like it. but now im starting to miss him even though hes not with me, he misses me alot i bet but i dont understand that he loves me so much an that he talks to me on the phone says he misses me but he doesnt do that in real life. HE USED to when we first started dating, he would think i was holy, he would save my piece of gum all that stuff. now i dont think so. its like. ok its ruzica hi ruzica.. bye not anything to be 'wowed" about. And when I dont get my way he yells at me or if we get in a fight he has the right to yell at me and he yells at me and one time he shook me hard when he yelled at me an i told his mother an his mother yelled at him an said its abuse to do that an he said i dont wanna go out with u anymore u got my family against me an then i said what? no i didnt, an i said to him if u really dont wanan go out with me then tell me an he said dont play mind games with me, an he wouldnt answer me. an I said please tell me. an he said no. an then later he goes yes i wanna go out with you. if we get in a huge fight an he cant take it anymore he actually tells me i cant go out with you anymore, but its one of those to get me to apologize to him so he can play mind games with me an say that ****. i realy dont know what to do. i feel used, i feel like hes only going out with me becuase he cant get anyone else. it really angers me. His parents think were really serious and they say were on the verge of getting married, he tells me hes going to get married to me after college an always talks about our future and what our kids names will be. But from saying this to you hes never called me a bitch before, only a a**h*** he thinks bitch is a bad word to disrespect a girl but i dont understand how the word a**h*** isnt. I mean ive called him that first ones an now he cals me it back he thinks he can call me names back, but doestn know that they hurt me, i know they hurt him. He bought my plane ticket to go back to him. Now i dont know what to do. He called me when he left this week to portugal to say happy annaversary an he told me he brought money to buy me a annaversary gift an when we get back hes going to celebrate it with me. I just am so afraid i hope that when i come back i dont feel like hes ignoring me alot an all that. when he comes home from work he usually stays downstairs all day talks to his mom an dad abuot work how he talks with the guys what he does, an tries to make his dad proud, an i mean way too proud. like im upstairs in his room waiitng for him he comes back upstairs after an hour says hows ur day doesnt kiss me then we go to the bathroom i watch him take a shower he talks to me about what i did today, an we talk for 5 minutes after his shower he goes quiet goes downstairs talks more to his mom an im upstairs watching tv an then he goes upstairs goes online - straight online an then clals me to sit by him to watch him go online.. and i have to sit there or he will ignore me, then (me an him have a website an forum) he goes to phpbb codes an he starts coding online our forum an asks me forum-related questions on what he should do on our board. an i dont like it because i wanna be with him an not him be on htere, after a while he gets off plays his video games an then talks to me like hows ur day.. an watches sports till we eat an then he goes to watch tv an falls asleep.. i dont know that is really my day.. and it hurts. i dont know what i look like as im living with him here. im sorry if im ranting i just need to know from your oppinion what he thinks of me. when he goes to work he asks me to clean his room for him while hes at work an only takes me out on tuesdays to the mall or the movies he pays never asks me to pay unless its for like some walmart junk, candies or cookies.. we share pay together. If i tell him how it is he tells me i shouldnt be selfish he doesnt want to ask his mom to drive us all the time, he got in a car accident last year an hasnt had a car since so he told me when i get back hes going to buy a car an we can drive places, hes doing this becuase he doesnt have a car thats his reason so it seems like hes ignoring me. i dont know, please help. please help
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted August 6, 2005 Posted August 6, 2005 Before he gets back, get yourself involved in some of your own activities or hobbies. Next time he wants you to do a "sit-in" while he's working on the computer, tell him you have other things to do. You're entitled to your own life/hobbies and he needs to know this. Have a talk with him about it and don't make any assumptions until everything is out in the open. This sounds to me like he has a bit of a controlling behavior so you need to make him aware that you will not be controlled. It might not hurt to choose some activities that he may even be interested in. Maybe this will get him off the computer.
Author sadandconfused Posted August 6, 2005 Author Posted August 6, 2005 Originally posted by MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Before he gets back, get yourself involved in some of your own activities or hobbies. Next time he wants you to do a "sit-in" while he's working on the computer, tell him you have other things to do. You're entitled to your own life/hobbies and he needs to know this. Have a talk with him about it and don't make any assumptions until everything is out in the open. This sounds to me like he has a bit of a controlling behavior so you need to make him aware that you will not be controlled. It might not hurt to choose some activities that he may even be interested in. Maybe this will get him off the computer. Thank you, you actually think hes controlling? And what is the point of him always making me sit by him he doesnt ever talk to me usually. I dont understand it, he just sees me as someone so hes not bored? Whatever. And at night when were sleeping together he masterbates on his side and I tell him to stop an he stops moving an then ones i yelled at him an he got up shook me an said Im not doing anything! Hes a freaken lier and I dont think he sees me as satisfying only his own hand.
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