vix Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 Hi, its my 1st time here. Its along story so I'll try to keep it short but your thoughts would be good. I started seeing my ex © 6 years ago & for the 1st year things were good. He then moved away with work & although we both didn't like the distance, we accepted it & made the most of the time we saw each other. However, it wasnt easy & my feelings changed. I ended the relationship & we stayed friends with weekly calls, etc. I spent the following year finishing off my house, changing jobs & spending lots of time with old/new friends. A year after our relationship ended, C invited me down to stay for the night & we had a great time - we talked, laughed & I loved it. I knew then that I had feelings for him again but didn't do/say anything because I wanted to be sure (I didn't want to hurt him again). I felt the same when I saw him 3months later but again, didn't do/say anything. However, it all came to head at Xmas 2004 when I received a text meant for a girl he'd started seeing. I knew then that I had to do something so I asked him to come round & told him how I felt (I regretted ending things & wanted a long-term shot at our relationship). He was shocked, didn't expect it & didn't know what to say but said he couldn't get hurt again. He then stopped contact for a month & when I was starting to loose hope, he text out of the blue. We started seeing each other a month later & at first, things were perfect. However, he was having problems at work & with his house, etc & we started seeing less of each other. I took it personally, my insecurities started to kick in & through C doing silly things, I started to loose trust in him. Whilst he said he wanted the relationship to work, he didn't think it would/could, so ended it after 3 months. I was devasted & wouldn't accept it at first. We kept speaking but the calls usually ended with me being upset. After 7 weeks of mixed signals/messages I couldn't take it anymore so text to say that I didn't want contact. 2 weeks later I phoned by accident, realised straight away & cancelled & then sent a text explaining. He text back & was angry, assuming I was phoning another bloke so I phoned as I didn't like what he was trying to say. Although angry at first, he calmed down & we ended up having a great conversation. We text over the next couple of days & then we spoke on the phone & we shouldn't have done. I apologised for my part in the break-up but he was just angry & said alot of hurtful things. Anyway, 3 days ago I realised that I needed closure on my part, so I bought a card, wrote 'To C - I'm sorry - Love Vix', drove down, put it through his letterbox & came home. He phoned & left a message saying he'd got it & I haven't responded. The thing is, I'm gutted. He came back wanting the same as me (marriage, kids, etc), bailed within the space of 3 months & now there's nothing else I can do/say. I don't want this to be the end & I'm afraid it is. Thanks for reading & if you've got any comments/advice, I'd love to hear them.
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