How many of you have done the '180' successfully or unsuccessfully?

[Noah123]

I've started to try and do the '180' as posted on Loveshack.

It makes perfect sense in every way and I'm going to try 100% to stick with it..

I would really like to hear other's experiences with it please?

[road]

Why are you doing the 180?

 

Divorce?

 

Kill the affair?

 

Recover the marriage?

[Noah123]

Why are you doing the 180?

 

Divorce?

 

Kill the affair?

 

Recover the marriage?

 

 

Recover the marriage hopefully.....

[PegNosePete]

Recover the marriage hopefully.....

Look I'm sorry to bring you down to earth here. But you need to understand what you're doing and what's gong on here. In your last thread she quite clearly has told you that she does not want to recover the marriage. Do you really think that following a list of rules and behaving a certain way, will suddenly make her change her mind?

 

The 180 is not a magic trick. It can't make someone do something that they don't want to do.

 

What it can do is to restore your dignity, prevent you being trampled on, and in some cases nurture the seeds of reconciliation. But unfortunately you have no seeds to nurture. She wants to separate. You aren't going to make her change her mind, simply by not talking to her. Or doing anything else, for that matter.

 

It's still best to do the 180 for the first 2 reasons above.

[Noah123]

Look I'm sorry to bring you down to earth here. But you need to understand what you're doing and what's gong on here. In your last thread she quite clearly has told you that she does not want to recover the marriage. Do you really think that following a list of rules and behaving a certain way, will suddenly make her change her mind?

 

The 180 is not a magic trick. It can't make someone do something that they don't want to do.

 

What it can do is to restore your dignity, prevent you being trampled on, and in some cases nurture the seeds of reconciliation. But unfortunately you have no seeds to nurture. She wants to separate. You aren't going to make her change her mind, simply by not talking to her. Or doing anything else, for that matter.

 

It's still best to do the 180 for the first 2 reasons above.

 

Thanks for your reply.

She now says she's not sure wants she wants.... she says she just "wants to exists" , she's says she's emotionally damaged from my ocassional outbursts from my depression....

[SammySammy]

I agree the 180 is not a gimmick to "work" on someone else. It's more about self-dignity and self-preservation.

 

With that said, I do think many relationships would have been better off from the start if the principles had been used throughout the relationship.

 

Some of us have applied the principles successfully. Some have gone more in-depth with further knowledge and resources available elsewhere. I won't go into what those resources are on this site, but how we conduct ourselves and allow ourselves to be treated are great predictors to the success of any relationship.

[road]

No more time to post for now but you must learn how

to expose the affair if you want to recover your marriage.

Post more much later today.

[road]

To end the WW's affair it must be told.

 

Exposure targets: WW parents, siblings, and kids (in age appropriate

way), G parents, aunts and uncles. Tell them WW is having an affair

with __________(OM name) and you need their support to help save

the marriage.

 

You must also expose the same on the OM side.

 

Never threatened WW to end the affair or you will expose for that only

warns the WW and the OM to take measures to negate your exposures

effectiveness. Also never even warn the WW that you are going to

expose for the shock and awe surprise is what makes the exposure

so effective.

 

Was this a work place affair?