NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 I've been talking to this woman for past few days & the height thing finally came up with her asking how tall I am. We're the exact same height than she states she typically goes for guys 3 inches taller than me & taller. So than she stated if I wore 3 inch heels it would be perfect. I asked if it bothers her that I'm the same height & she said if I wind up being her guy it wouldn't matter. I just feel a bit degraded though for her stating that.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Sounds like an attempt at a joke. I doubt she actually wants you to wear heels. 3
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 Sounds like an attempt at a joke. I doubt she actually wants you to wear heels. I don't know if she was joking that time. She asked first if I mind wearing heels. Than she said I should wear 3 inch heels & it would be perfect. When she's joking she usually uses emoticons. That time she didn't when she stated that like she was serious.
SammySammy Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Don't do it then. And don't take it personally. Just be confident in your height. Either she can deal with it or she can't. I'm willing to bet your height won't be an issue at all if your confidence is on point. 5
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 I don't know if she was joking that time. She asked first if I mind wearing heels. Than she said I should wear 3 inch heels & it would be perfect. When she's joking she usually uses emoticons. That time she didn't when she stated that like she was serious. Well that's odd. And what to "heels" look like for a man?
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 Well that's odd. And what to "heels" look like for a man? I don't know, I'm just really disappointed that she stated that since I really enjoy talking to her & we're supposed to meet sometime soon. I hate this whole confidence thing though it's like how am I supposed to feel good knowing she typically goes for the typical tall guys & is asking me to wear heels?
SammySammy Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Well that's odd. And what to "heels" look like for a man? I think they call them elevator shoes. Or platforms. Thick soles or thick inserts to make a man appear taller. Or you can go all out and really wear heels like Prince did. Which might be ... questionable ... for most men. 6
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 I don't know, I'm just really disappointed that she stated that since I really enjoy talking to her & we're supposed to meet sometime soon. I hate this whole confidence thing though it's like how am I supposed to feel good knowing she typically goes for the typical tall guys & is asking me to wear heels? I don't know . I guess just approach the date with low expectations? She's surely not a perfect physical specimen herself, right?? 1
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 I don't know . I guess just approach the date with low expectations? She's surely not a perfect physical specimen herself, right?? It stings really bad honestly. I'm just pretty turned off when I think about it now. It's like she'll be embarrassed to be seen with me for being the same height as her. I got over the whole height thing long ago when it used to bother me but now it's coming back to haunt me here. It seriously just sucks.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 It stings really bad honestly. I'm just pretty turned off when I think about it now. It's like she'll be embarrassed to be seen with me for being the same height as her. I got over the whole height thing long ago when it used to bother me but now it's coming back to haunt me here. It seriously just sucks. If you don't mind me asking, how tall are you? How tall is she?
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 If you don't mind me asking, how tall are you? How tall is she? We're both 5'6" but she said she typically goes for guys that are 5'9" & taller. I mean it was on my profile for her to see so I wasn't hiding anything. But I guess she must have forgot or didn't notice my height stated so she asked me now.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 We're both 5'6" but she said she typically goes for guys that are 5'9" & taller. I mean it was on my profile for her to see so I wasn't hiding anything. But I guess she must have forgot or didn't notice my height stated so she asked me now. The last man I dated stated on his profile that he was 5'7". I'm 5'5". I actually did not recall his height at all but was a little surprised when we met in person because he is NOT 5'7". He's probably exactly my height (which was confirmed when he had a nurse visit his home for a new life insurance physical lol). To be completely honest, sometimes I thought about it (especially in colder weather when I was more likely to wear heels because in summer it's flip flops or sandals for me), but I'd just try to rise above it (no pun intended). I do know that if I'd been madly in love with him, it would not have mattered at ALL for what it's worth. Our relationship ended, but not because of height. (We lasted about 10 months). He was pretty confident about it and would make jokes about it, but not to the point of making me (or anyone else) feel like he was insecure about it. I think that is a good approach to take. 1
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 I think they call them elevator shoes. Or platforms. Thick soles or thick inserts to make a man appear taller. Or you can go all out and really wear heels like Prince did. Which might be ... questionable ... for most men. Honestly, it's not even funny. What she said stung extremely bad. It's not cool at all.
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 The last man I dated stated on his profile that he was 5'7". I'm 5'5". I actually did not recall his height at all but was a little surprised when we met in person because he is NOT 5'7". He's probably exactly my height (which was confirmed when he had a nurse visit his home for a new life insurance physical lol). To be completely honest, sometimes I thought about it (especially in colder weather when I was more likely to wear heels because in summer it's flip flops or sandals for me), but I'd just try to rise above it (no pun intended). I do know that if I'd been madly in love with him, it would not have mattered at ALL for what it's worth. Our relationship ended, but not because of height. (We lasted about 10 months). He was pretty confident about it and would make jokes about it, but not to the point of making me (or anyone else) feel like he was insecure about it. I think that is a good approach to take. Seriously though? I'm supposed to just take it in stride & not let it make me feel like less of a person? I never heard of a woman asking a guy to wear elevator shoes before. It seems it's always the woman just not wearing heels. This height stuff seriously is bs.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Seriously though? I'm supposed to just take it in stride & not let it make me feel like less of a person? I never heard of a woman asking a guy to wear elevator shoes before. It's always the woman just agreeing not to wear heels. This height stuff seriously is bs. I don't think either is ok (asking you to wear heels or feeling like she has to wear flats). It is really bothering you, though, so maybe you should cancel the date.
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 I don't think either is ok (asking you to wear heels or feeling like she has to wear flats). It is really bothering you, though, so maybe you should cancel the date. At this point I'm definitely not meeting her unless she has a really good answer to why she stated that to me. 2
SammySammy Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Honestly, it's not even funny. What she said stung extremely bad. It's not cool at all. If you're hurt, that's the problem. When I was in college, one of my roommate's father was about 5'6". He was married to a beautiful woman that was probably 6' tall. Gorgeous woman. Looked like a model. This guy walked around like he was king of the world. No insecurities about his height whatsoever. No apparent concerns about what other people thought of him. I believe that attitude was a main reason she had no problem being with him. At that point, they had been married more than twenty years. Get over your hurt, man. It's not attractive. 2
Marshawn Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 At this point I'm definitely not meeting her unless she has a really good answer to why she stated that to me. Good answer for what? She's shallow af. Im straight on that one bro. Your call and how you wanna handle that but if a girl said that to me...DEUCES... even though im 6'0 1
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 Man girls are fkced up! cut her loose she aint worth all that effort! Yeah man I'm still taken back by her stating that to me. I just couldn't believe she actually said that. It's just such a really awful thing to say. It's just messed up how the height issue just is made fun of by so many yet it stings when it actually happens to you especially in this way.
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 If you're hurt, that's the problem. When I was in college, one of my roommate's father was about 5'6". He was married to a beautiful woman that was probably 6' tall. Gorgeous woman. Looked like a model. This guy walked around like he was king of the world. No insecurities about his height whatsoever. No apparent concerns about what other people thought of him. I believe that attitude was a main reason she had no problem being with him. At that point, they had been married more than twenty years. Get over your hurt, man. It's not attractive. Yeah, but did that woman ask him to wear heels? And state she typically goes for taller guys?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Yeah man I'm still taken back by her stating that to me. I just couldn't believe she actually said that. It's just such a really awful thing to say. It's just messed up how the height issue just is made fun of by so many yet it stings when it actually happens to you especially in this way. Well, it is messed up, but we have society and the media to thank for pounding it into women's heads that we have to be tiny and slight to be sexually desirable. If a woman is larger than her man, she knows she's not perceived as attractive, so it probably has more to do with her than with you. 1
Marshawn Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Just cut bait bro. Tell her to go kick rocks. I hope you didnt invest a lot of time in her cus if you did...man that's all bad.
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 Well, it is messed up, but we have society and the media to thank for pounding it into women's heads that we have to be tiny and slight to be sexually desirable. If a woman is larger than her man, she knows she's not perceived as attractive, so it probably has more to do with her than with you. It's just so stupid. I'm not going to be walked all over by someone degrading me like that. I'm just going to flat out ask her tomorrow why she stated that to me & if I don't like her answer than I'm not talking to her again.
SammySammy Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Yeah, but did that woman ask him to wear heels? And state she typically goes for taller guys? Don't you think she would typically date taller men? Don't you think he had been insulted about his height before? Probably in front of her. Even if she didn't do it herself, I'm sure she had seen his height and their relationship questioned or even mocked. His DGAF attitude was the difference. If you act weak, people are going to treat you like you're weak. Including a woman that's the same height as you. Shake it off, bro. Never let them see you sweat. 1
Author NJ123 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 Don't you think she would typically date taller men? Don't you think he had been insulted about his height before? Probably in front of her. Even if she didn't do it herself, I'm sure she had seen his height and their relationship questioned or even mocked. His DGAF attitude was the difference. If you act weak, people are going to treat you like you're weak. Including a woman that's the same height as you. Shake it off, bro. Never let them see you sweat. I get what you're saying but it's the whole degrading factor. It's the fact that she sees me as less physically attractive for being shorter. How can you seriously just let something that degrading slide? It's just bizarre to do that.
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