IGotThis Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 My partner of 3 years broke up with me 4 months ago. We lived together for 2. It's been hard. He started seeing a mutual friend a week after he dumped me. She had just broken up with her boyfriend a week before that. She was a girl we opened our relationship with 1.5 years prior. For a bit. And it was fun. But then he stopped making effort for me and they were always together whenever we were out socially. She was his "best friend". Now that it's over, I have a feeling he is a narcissist. He started off our relationship strong (we had known each other for 8 years and had a few flings prior). Told me I was the one he was waiting for and he was so happy he followed his heart to me. It was great as first, though he did have an addiction to pot and amphetamines. The last year kind of fizzled out. I noticed he never told me I was beautiful or went out of his way for me. He did a couple times, but then made me feel like I was inconveniencing him. Was always stressed about work. In the end, he told me I had been breaking his heart for a year. Our sex life had declined dramatically. Once a month. Though we were both gone often. Maybe together 6 months in the last year. And he constantly flirted with other women and had a harem of followers. All his friends are women mostly. He is extremely intelligent. Which sometimes intimidated me. I'm intelligent as well but he is genius level. It was hard communicating my emotions cause we he would get reactive. Or he would make fun of my selection of words when I was trying to express my feelings. I also felt some disrespect. In the last year, he would pinch me or grab my thighs really hard. When I told him it hurt or to stop he would say"You're too sensitive and everything I do hurts you". He would also hold me down and tickle me until I cried. I took at his going overboard in his playfulness but I think it was more about control. I still can't help but feel I failed. That I should've forced more communication or tried to be more intimate. I was always the one kissing him and massaging him and telling him he was the best and greatest. He rarely initiated sex. He told me he was depressed and was sorry for "wasting my beauty" and "sorry we didn't have more sex". But in the end, he said I never learned how to touch him. Sex became painful for me due to my endometriosis, and the BV and HPV I got while with him. But he couldn't empathize. Said it was a sign "our bodies weren't meant to be together". He also told me he didn't lust for me anymore. But I;m pretty sure he told his new woman that I wouldn't touch him. And that I rejected his touch. He called it death by a thousand cuts. After the break up, he messaged me that he loves and misses me often. That the house was miserable without me. But he was still with her everyday. I did NC for over a month. But called him during an emergency situation. Whenever we make contact, it's still the same. He misses me and loves me and wants to see me. And that he feels shame for what transpired between us. Yet he is still with her. I think he just wants forgiveness. All our mutual friends say I was too good for him, that he was too intense. He told a mutual friend that he didnt understand why our relationship had to change even though he was with another now. I dont get it.
SpecialJ Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 I wrote a pretty thorough response to you on your last post about this. My ex did all the same things to me sexually (except no stds, thank goodness, and what an awful way for him to deflect blame-- your bodies aren't compatible! Wtf) and also after we broke up (didn't want the friendship and emotional aspects of our relationship to change, he just wanted to be with and sleep with other people who could make him happy, also wtf). Your ex has a lot of problems, of which narcissism is likely one. Stay away and seek therapy to get through this.
SpecialJ Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 (edited) Double post Edited June 24, 2017 by SpecialJ Delete, double post
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