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Dating after a long term relationship


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Posted (edited)

Hi Everyone

 

I went through a really devastating break up in April last year, I had been with this guy for 9 years and lived together for 8 of those. I naively thought it was forever and never thought I would be single again especially now (just turned 37) we were never engaged nor did we have a baby but I never worried about it because I assumed we were on the same page and it would happen eventually. He was the one who ended things, suddenly and I haven't seen him (his choice) since the day our relationship ended, he told me it was better that we didn't see each other again and simply walked away leaving me heartbroken and confused. I feel like he has taken away my trust and faith in love. I really don't want to feel this way but that's the reality, I feel as though he has taken my chance of falling in love, getting married and having a baby, like this is the end for me. I just can't believe I wasted so many years on someone who I thought I could trust and who I thought would be with always. I have reached a point where I would like to at least try and date but I feel so self concious about my age. Am I crazy to think I could meet someone who hasn't yet been married or had a baby? I also feel so much pressure as I know I don't want a serious relationship right now but I'm at an age when I really don't have time to wait (as my friends keep reminding me) any advice would be much appreciated xx

Edited by layla_13
Posted

I am 45 and getting married in less than a month. So age is really not your problem.

 

However, your chances to meet a man who has never been married and/or had a kid are pretty low. You'll date men who are mostly in their 40s so most would have been married before and most would have kids. You have to come to terms with that possibility and be open to it.

Posted

At 37 she can easily find men in their 30s to date (her age).

 

My ex was exactly 37 when we met and I was literally his first gf (excluding 1-2 short flings). I'm not sure that's better than a divorced guy, just saying guys like this are out there.

Posted (edited)

OP your ex bf is an absolute monster if he walked away after so many years for no big reason.

 

You're practically married (common law), so your situation is identical to any divorced woman your age.

 

If you're concerned about fertility, freeze your eggs instead of jumping to a wrong guy just for this.

Edited by No_Go
Posted

ouch that really sucks has to be some sort of reason dont get how someone would just randomly end it

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