AnnaN88 Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 Hi guys, I posted a thread a few months ago about a guy I was seeing and the fact that he is a divorced dad with kids( I am younger, single and no kids). Despite my initial reticence I decided to go on and date the guy. He seemed very keen. However I have noticed that in the last 2 months he grew colder and one of the red flags for me is that he takes a while to reply my messages on WhatsApp. We had a few conversations in the past about this and he concluded that I " read too much into things". He checks his phone quite a lot, reads my texts and replies hours later. Yesterday I was fuming as we were supposed to meet and I asked him in the morning " what time do you finish work? Let me know if you are free ". He read the messages and he did not reply until late in the evening at about 6pm when I had already made other plans. I regard this as an accurate Indication of how much a person cares about you. Has anyone had this experience before and guys in particular, what do you think? Am I over-reacting? We have been dating for 6 months.
smackie9 Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 So this is why we date...to see if they are suitable to date, fulfill our expectations, fit our schedules, etc. You found out he has his own situation, and it's not suitable to you. Simple thing to do is to not bother with him because you cannot change what is there, but you can meet someone else who is not in this situation. It's a no brainer. 4
kendahke Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 It sounds like he's lost interest in you. Instead of waiting on him to inform you of your demotion, why not just stop dealing with him? As my tag line says: __ | | V 2
Author AnnaN88 Posted June 24, 2017 Author Posted June 24, 2017 It sounds like he's lost interest in you. Instead of waiting on him to inform you of your demotion, why not just stop dealing with him? But why wouldn't he be opened about this then? I have stopped dealing with him for a while and then he would comeback saying that he was busy but he really wanted us to meet more often blah blah. I told him what I think and he insists it is just a matter of him being very busy at the time. Every time I confronted him about his flaky ways, he said I was over-reacting.
xenagirl Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 Hi there, My personal belief is that never give so much control to people who really shoul not matter to us. You should hangout with people who respect and appreciate you for what you are. Life is short and too precious to waste on such people. Who knows what's upon his mind. Clearly he has no interest in pursuing things with you. So you also give him a cold shoulder and ignore him royally. By texting him to hangout with you would only make you appear more desperate. I am sure you are a wonderful person and there is no dearth of other wonderful people out there.
kendahke Posted June 24, 2017 Posted June 24, 2017 (edited) But why wouldn't he be opened about this then? I have stopped dealing with him for a while and then he would comeback saying that he was busy but he really wanted us to meet more often blah blah. I told him what I think and he insists it is just a matter of him being very busy at the time. Every time I confronted him about his flaky ways, he said I was over-reacting. Because you're willing to take his calls when he feels like being arsed with talking to you, but it ends there. He doesn't want more--what he's got is fine with him and he's going to manage your expectations to make sure he doesn't have to do more. Listen--we're all busy. But we make time for things that are important to us. You are not important to him, so he doesn't make time for you. Talking on the phone or texting really doesn't require that he arse himself--he's doing the bare minimum to maintain your interest and every time he scales that back then comes back, you give him an audience. Try blocking his phone number and social media contact. That was you let him know that he needs to go on and live this incredibly busy life and that you're moving on. Edited June 24, 2017 by kendahke
grays Posted June 25, 2017 Posted June 25, 2017 I dont think it matters if hes into you or not. Hes treating you ****ty. You should move on. 1
Author AnnaN88 Posted July 1, 2017 Author Posted July 1, 2017 I dont think it matters if hes into you or not. Hes treating you ****ty. You should move on. I have moved on and stopped the contact with him. Yesterday he texted me asking what was wrong and I told him that I can't date him because he is putting in zero effort and it seems to be no interest from his side. His reply was " I just have been short of time and we've got out of a routine of meeting". Not too sure what this means, maybe I should just block his contact and move on with my life without trying to understand the reasons behind his behaviour. 1
Gaeta Posted July 1, 2017 Posted July 1, 2017 Not too sure what this means, maybe I should just block his contact and move on with my life without trying to understand the reasons behind his behaviour. Exactly, do that. It's just another excuse for him.
heavenonearth Posted July 1, 2017 Posted July 1, 2017 I would be bored with a guy like that. Move on!
Author AnnaN88 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 I would be bored with a guy like that. Move on! In the end I received the closure that I wanted. His reply " Yes it really isn't anything you've done and I'm probably being selfish in that I don't really now feel I have the time or motivation for anything longer term, with anyone, right now. I am more than happy to keep going but completely understand if that doesn't fit with what you want". In this case being busy was, once again, lack of interest. The signs were all there. Anyway, not sure I want to have anything to do with a freshly divorced dad with kids anytime soon. I will probably take a break from dating for a while.
BetrayedDad Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 (edited) In the end I received the closure that I wanted. His reply " Yes it really isn't anything you've done and I'm probably being selfish in that I don't really now feel I have the time or motivation for anything longer term, with anyone, right now. I am more than happy to keep going but completely understand if that doesn't fit with what you want". In this case being busy was, once again, lack of interest. The signs were all there. Anyway, not sure I want to have anything to do with a freshly divorced dad with kids anytime soon. I will probably take a break from dating for a while. As a soon to be freshly divorced dad with kids, I give you credit for giving the guy a chance. Best of luck to you in the future. Edited July 3, 2017 by BetrayedDad
Author AnnaN88 Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 As a soon to be freshly divorced dad with kids, I give you credit for giving the guy a chance. Best of luck to you in the future. Best of luck to you as well!! I do believe that everyone deserves a chance.
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