gemini101 Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 You can read my post from a month ago. Here's the deal in a nutshell. First love, high school / college gf broke up with me 3 months ago. I'd become a big beta and dependent on her for all kinds of stuff. So she left. I begged for about a week then went NC. She has consistently reached out every couple weeks. At one point I replied and asked her to dinner, and she declined. Just recently, she asked me to dinner but I said no (I REALLY think even if I'd agreed, she would have blown me off. I think it was just a power grab attempt on her part), I told her that we could eat and catch up at my place, but I wasn't down to go to dinner anymore. She said she wasn't comfortable coming to my house. I'm basically just writing here because I have the urge to cut through the bull**** and tell her I want to see her. But I of course know that's not the right move. It's also the summer and I have an internship and am super lonely. It's rough. It hurts, I'd been making slow and steady progress but I feel like crap tonight. Sorry for the rant.
PegNosePete Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 From your other thread: My plan is to be NC forever unless she emails me begging to see me Did she email you begging to see you? No? Look it's pointless letting her know how you feel. She's already made it quite clear that she is NOT INTERESTED in a relationship with you. Don't do the "friends with the ex" thing because it is a bad idea on so many levels. It's just going to cause you a world of pain. You should tell her this: "Hey XXX, as you know I still have feelings for you so it's too painful to have a mere friendship. In order to heal I need to cut all contact for my own well-being." Than then start NC - properly this time.
Author gemini101 Posted June 23, 2017 Author Posted June 23, 2017 No. But she texted me asking me to go to dinner.
Altair0770 Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 No. But she texted me asking me to go to dinner. This is the common case of seeing way more than what is actually there. My ex, when I returned (like a scrub), treated me like we were together. Then I get told she's flirting with someone else. I approach her and she admitted to it and I said I need to go NC again. She cried and didn't want me to disappear. It was as if I was dumping her over her dumping me, even though she didn't want a romantic relationship but I did. Put it this way. Let's say an ex says, "I am so glad you're here <3". You think - OMG SHE WANTS ME BACK WOOHOO!!! She thinks - I'm so glad he's my friend and has made peace with the breakup. When an ex breaks up with you, but instantly says, "we can be friends", it a majority of the time means they either want the option to see other people, or have no interest in you romantically anymore. But ultimately they want to keep you by their side and not lose you permanently. In this case, it doesn't matter if you're 3 months, 4 months, 5 months, or 2 years. Everytime you break NC while you still have feelings for her (responding to her is breaking NC), you emotional clock gets reset. Also, time doesn't heal all wounds, according to my therapist. It does get better with time, but only if you put in the work to get over the breakup.
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