She took my heart and stomped it with her converses...

[Purepony]

Don't message her anymore

You said your part the next move is here if she decides to take it and also leave her friends alone ! They will tell her everything

Just move on from this one

[preraph]

She told you she had a boyfriend because she's not interested in you and also doesn't want to keep communicating with you.

[JamesNorrington15]

I went to a networking event last night and she showed up. She stood in my general proximity and kept looking at me, but I did not give her any eye contact (I caught her glances in my peripherals). Eventually I moved to the other side of the room to talk with a contact and to stay away. Some guys I knew walked up to me and she came over and started hugging all of them in front of me. She even came by and brushed up against me twice, but one of those time was when a female contact of a similar age started talking to me. She walked up and asked me for the time and I gave it politely, but those were the only words I gave her. I felt pretty good because I talked and received contacts with some high profile people. From what I understand from one of my friends, she was hit on a lot and she was making her flirting noticeable. I actually feel better about agreeing to walk away from her per her request after her email because she is lost as to who she is right now, is just trying to make me jealous, or would be a handful if we were together. Of course, she was rather loud and possibly drinking a bit, but she says she does not drink so her behavior was puzzling. Either way, I do not harbor anger, but I would only wish for a better explanation as to why this all occurred and I know that she will not tell me that. I know I already started off on a bad foot in trying to get over this by even caring about her behavior. Any future interactions with her need to project me not being phased and I need to actually not be phased in order to be successful. Hopefully time will make me stronger.

 

Well, I took a hard look at myself and I need to occupy myself with self-improvement to get her out of my mind so I do not drag any future woman into this drama that is on my mind. I want to take up some new skills that future women may find attractive and also entertain myself. Does anyone have any suggestions? Does anyone have any stories of how they worked on themselves after getting dumped? Any success stories? And I know jealousy is bad...but did anyone bounce back so well that even their ex noticed? Those type of stories actually give people like me gratification because it shows that if someone pushes us down, then we will come back stronger.

 

Oh, and even if she left before a first date, can I call her my ex? Haha. Thank you all for your input!

Edited June 21, 2017 by JamesNorrington15

[JamesNorrington15]

I have known this girl as an acquaintance since last year through college. Well, last summer we had a class together and she was very shy around me in particular and I never thought much of it. Well, we joined up to work together in a class and she became very close to me and she was very particular about being around me. In every class, she wanted me as a partner, she offered me car rides home, she always wanted my help, she always wanted to be my partner, and she began mirroring my vocabulary and body language. She dropped hints about being together long-term a and always wanted to know about my future plans and started becoming touchy with me by sitting so close that our shoulders touch and she would occasionally find excuses to squeeze my hand. I always admired her from afar, but I think I fell in love with her. She also loved to stare at me and find strange excuses to talk to me by phone, but I actually enjoyed that interaction. She asked me a lot of family questions, but the one question she would ask everyone except me was about how many kids I wanted to have. Other than that, she knew everything about me and even Googled my family members' names.

 

Mid-semester, she started becoming aloof at times and flirted with other guys in front of me. However, the second I would get a phonecall, text, or instagram message from a female friend, she would become jealous and refocus on me. She started playing the damsel in distress (she acted like she could not accomplish easy tasks despite being an honor student) and that I was the only person that could fix things.

 

This past weekend, I said I really enjoyed our time together and I asked her if she wanted to hangout and she initially seemed excited. Then I got a strange email early the next morning saying that she was sorry for messing with my emotions, that I should not let this discourage me from sharing my heart with others. She also said that she could not maintain a friendship with me because I am a man and it would be unfair to her future husband (She is religious, but I know she has plenty of male friends from our group). I was baffled and asked her what was wrong and she said this was final and good luck in life. I was saddened and told her that I would respect her wishes as I saw another poster do and I said that I would not remain on her social media accounts to guarantee her privacy and that I had no anger if she ever wanted to talk again. Well, as I left, she seemed upset and would go into our group chatrooms and exit first as if to send a message that she was leaving me.

 

I went to a networking event and she was there. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that she kept staring at me, but I gave no attention. I talked with a young networking contact, a woman, and she followed me to the other side of the room. When I walked over to my friends, she brushed by my arm very noticeably twice. She even went up and hugged all of them in front of me, but I ignored it. Then she looked at me and put her hand out for a shake and I acknowledged it politely. At the end of the night, she asked me for time and I politely gave it, but then I realized that she had her iPhone in her hand and the time was right on the screen if she needed it. She flirted with a few guys by the exit as I left. So her last words to me were "What time is it?".

 

Well, after her news on Monday, I went out with my buddies last night to the beach and we all sported casual attire. We took some group photos and looked pretty happy and I posted them publicly. Well, on Monday, I unfollowed her because I told her that I would leave her social media as my commitment to guarantee her privacy, but she still followed. This morning, her account was gone. One of my buddies said that she was still on his account, so I may have been blocked. Then this evening, I typed in her name and her account was back. A few minutes later, it was gone. This morning my buddy said that a mutual friend told him that she has been angry with me, but I do not know why because she called it off and never told if anything was wrong when I asked. They told me that she is still single and has no one on the horizon. I was the the last guy she was comfortable with.

 

So, I will have to go no contact because she has made me into a wreck. I want to block her next time her profile appears, but that is unhealthy and I do not want to show her getting to me. I'm afraid that I did something to hurt her, but I do not know what. I love her, but I need to get her out of my mind so I will have to focus on other things. She is a good person, but I do not know why she singled me out. I'd like to say I was friend-zoned, but she does not want to even give me that. I'm going to focus on myself and do some self-improvement.

 

Any thoughts on this situation? It is all so odd to me.

[basil67]

She spent all that time flirting with you and you didn't ask her out. So she eventually lost interest. That said, she sounds a bit loopy to me.

[JamesNorrington15]

She spent all that time flirting with you and you didn't ask her out. So she eventually lost interest. That said, she sounds a bit loopy to me.

 

In hindsight, I should have. I kept telling myself to wait until our classes were over in case things went south for whatever reason, but they went south anyway.

 

This may be the denial talking, but am I being tested or something? It was like something changed instantaneously.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

In hindsight, I should have. I kept telling myself to wait until our classes were over in case things went south for whatever reason, but they went south anyway.

 

This may be the denial talking, but am I being tested or something? It was like something changed instantaneously.

 

Normally I'd say no because so many people ask this hoping beyond hope that they are being "tested" because someone still loves them. This time, I have no freaking clue....this behavior on her part is very odd, and I think you have been behaving like a perfect gentleman. I guess my advice would be to keep doing what you're doing because you are definitely being the bigger person here.

[JamesNorrington15]

Normally I'd say no because so many people ask this hoping beyond hope that they are being "tested" because someone still loves them. This time, I have no freaking clue....this behavior on her part is very odd, and I think you have been behaving like a perfect gentleman. I guess my advice would be to keep doing what you're doing because you are definitely being the bigger person here.

 

Glad to see that I am not the only one lost. The only reason I get the test feeling is that I have never showed anger around her and I wonder if she is trying to see if I become someone different when pressured. Or one of our mutual friends said she just might want more attention. For me and her, this would have been the first relationship for either of us if things progressed. She did say something along the lines of I need to let Jesus guide my heart and surrender my desires to him. It was very odd what she wrote and seemed to dance around a lot of direct questions I asked. I also thought the comment about not having friendships with males may have been a way of addressing my friendships with females.

 

I have also questioned myself by thinking she was just friendly and I misread her, but my female friends said she put in way too much effort to be friendly with the actions she showed.

 

I will not plead or beg with her, but I will say that she is a person I would never like to see unhappy even if she does not like me.

[Noideanow]

You Seem to talk yourself out of anything Any action to get her, she doesnt feel your interest in her and that you want to Be by her side non stop forever:( its like you stand there with your hands in your pockets instead of touching her giving her what she is crawing, its all about your fear and thinking about what somebody in Here Write you should say instead of being honest, You Are really Writing like a victim*" and you Are because of yourself. a woman wants a man to want to spend every sdcond with her....otherwise she flirts...like you do....a Girl Here frustrated..running out energy..from This kind of behavior:(

[JamesNorrington15]

My friend told me today that she cried about me in a church function and one of the group leaders and his nephew are around her like crazy as if the nephew was waiting for this moment and he sounds like my opposite...in a bad way in my opinion or good in hers as he has no real job or education and is hippyish in appearance. Fairly quick hookup after she dumped me if that is what it is or just a shoulder to cry on. I have told my buddy that I do not want to hear anymore so I do not have an urge to look him up. However, good luck to her because I know she is conflicted right now as am I. I left my door open and made my peace and even apologized for things I did not do. Life must go on.

[preraph]

email???? odd?? It probably was her father. Old people use email..........I doubt it was her.

 

Nearly everyone who has a job still uses email.