I love him but I broke it off and now he's removing me from his life :(

[komorebin]

So you are both on this site and he is taking the NC route. Best to give him the space he has asked for. Not sure how NC will work with both of you on here reading each other's threads?

 

Anyway, it's incredibly difficult to heal while still in contact. In order to expedite the process you've pretty much got to go cold turkey. He made the right decision for both of you. The pain will pass in good time. Sorry, but if you broke up it was for good reason so keep that in mind.

 

Yeah, he originally asked me to make an account to get some perspective as he was so sure I was doing the wrong thing. My post was a bit bias but people ultimately agreed more with me on both of our posts. I don't think he's still on here or checking my posts. He probably thinks I stopped after making that one post. But yeah, I know you're right. Thank you.

[komorebin]

Wow, it's not often we get to hear both sides of the story.

 

I told your ex that you made the right decision. And that was before I realised that you were only 20yo!!! You now have more support than ever from me.

 

He made his decision and gave you an ultimatum: get married now or end it. You chose the only realistic option. I know he holds it against you that you previously said that you'd marry him, but there is no crime in rethinking decisions. Especially if the previous decision looks foolish under without rose coloured glasses.

 

But he is right to want No Contact. (not that it can successfully be done with both of you posting here). No Contact gives you both the space required to gain clarity and start over. You made a correct and sensible decision. Now, give him the space he requires to heal.

 

You will both get over this with time and space.

 

Again, I don't think he knows I've continued to stay on here as he just asked me to make the account for that first post. I agree a lot with what you've said and your right that I should give him space. It only bothers me because he says he's unfriending me because he thinks that's what I want (since I told him I don't want to talk for 30 days).

 

While I know it's the right step in order for us to both move on, I didn't want him to remove me. I guess you can't get everything you want though. This should be for the better.

[komorebin]

This says everything. He worked very hard to salvage your relationship, and you ended it a second time. And now he's had enough, and you are heartbroken.

 

I can't render solid counsel here, as this is the type of thing I constantly try my best to help guys on LS about. So I'll leave it to the rest of the community.

 

I wouldn't exactly word it like that. I broke it off for various reasons, one being that he really tried when it was too late (as in just 2 days before we ended things). There's a lot that I left out.

 

When I said he begged and cried, I meant he did that while we were broken up. He did that in order to get me to give him another chance, which I did not end up doing as I thought that would be the best decision. He's just now accepting it, but I thought we'd be able to maintain at least being friends on Facebook so I'm just disheartened. And heartbroken, yeah.

 

Sorry, I felt like I had to get a bit defensive because it felt like you were blaming the situation solely on me.

[Ashl]

So sorry you are feeling so bad. I feel heartbroken too. I don't understand though because you said you wanted to break up you sound like you have really made up your mind. But you wanted him to be a friend on facebook, are you just upset about losing that?

 

Mine won't even speak to me now and I don't know what I've done wrong.

[Altair0770]

Dumpers feel bad too sometimes. Doesn't mean they made the wrong decision. You guys broke it off while still caring about each other. You are going to go through the emotions.

 

But him doing NC is the consequence of making the decision to end it. Every decision you make in life has either a positive or negative consequence, from even the littlest things.

[ExpatInItaly]

You two are better off apart.

 

This relationship just didn't have the legs to carry on, let alone result in a marriage.

[Lazy Fox]

You two are better off apart.

 

This relationship just didn't have the legs to carry on, let alone result in a marriage.

 

I completely disagree. The relationship had huge potential but the distance and poor communication were issues that we didn't try hard enough to fix. A year ago she was telling her friends that she was "scared he doesn't love me enough to move to the USA" which is ironic considering what was to come (me wanting to move there via marriage and her not). She made no effort to communicate her thoughts in a collected manner, instead opting to pull me up on issues mid-debate or mid-sentence. She says that it's easier just to find someone she's compatible with but that's not how dating works. She will never find someone "perfect". Everyone needs work and self-improvement but she gave up.

 

Read what i've written at the end of this thread and this thread.

 

Mods, please don't pull me up for thread jacking. This is her thread but it's about me and her.

[springy]

Actually LazyFox, you just proved expat's point with your post. Many reasons why this relationship was destined to fail all summed up by you.

[Lazy Fox]

Actually LazyFox, you just proved expat's point with your post. Many reasons why this relationship was destined to fail all summed up by you.

 

You might be right. I thought we could work through our issues but i don't think she's willing to. The fact she was unwilling to admit her issues and work on them in itself is reason to breakup i suppose. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

[ExpatInItaly]

I completely disagree. The relationship had huge potential but the distance and poor communication were issues that we didn't try hard enough to fix. A year ago she was telling her friends that she was "scared he doesn't love me enough to move to the USA" which is ironic considering what was to come (me wanting to move there via marriage and her not). She made no effort to communicate her thoughts in a collected manner, instead opting to pull me up on issues mid-debate or mid-sentence. She says that it's easier just to find someone she's compatible with but that's not how dating works. She will never find someone "perfect". Everyone needs work and self-improvement but she gave up.

 

Read what i've written at the end of this thread and this thread.

 

Mods, please don't pull me up for thread jacking. This is her thread but it's about me and her.

 

And this is precisely why I say this didn't have the potential to continue.

 

You two didn't have the solid foundation or communication necessary to sustain the relationship anymore, let alone get married.

[William]

As the OP (komorebin) has not contributed to this thread for nearly a month we will close this one up

 

If the OP wishes the thread reopened she may request it reopened for update via the "Alert Us" button. ~T