Said he doesn't want to hang out again but keeps viewing my snap story?

[papayagirl]

So I met this guy online who was super cute and super nice to me. We chatted all day Sunday and he asked me to get coffee this Wednesday, to which I said yes. The next day he sent me a good morning text and we chatted a little more. Yesterday morning I texted him to confirm and he said he was totally down for coffee, but felt bad it wasn't more and asked if I wanted to wait until Saturday and he would take me on a real dinner date. I said coffee was fine and to let me know when he was out of work and ready to meet.

Half an hour before he gets out, I get this text: Hey, I have to be entirely honest with you. I feel like **** telling you so last minute and it took me a little bit to sort of mull this over. I realized today I'm still really caught up on my ex. We still talk and she honestly kind of strings me along. But it wouldn't be fair to you for me to put myself out there when i'm still feeling for someone else. You seem lovely, seriously. I'm just not in a mindset for dating right now

 

This made me feel like ****. I can't help but wonder if it was something i did. I know it was wrong on his part to cancel so last minute, but it hurt and I'm disappointed because I had an interest in this guy.

[Gaeta]

He actually did something nice. He avoided you to wast one more minute on him. The net is full of people not over their ex, it's why you should always ask how long they've been single in a first conversation.

 

Let him go, you lost nothing.

[JohnM]

Certainly sucks to have plans for a date fall apart, but definitely at least a good honest admission that he doesn't have his feelings sorted out enough to go out with you.

 

I had a few back and forth exchanges with a girl before my current relationship where things were going well, things in common. Then at some point she said a similar thing about not being ready to date and didn't want to mess me around. I wished she had simply realised that before wasting my time investing into conversations etc but at least it didn't go any further than that before it was admitted.

 

Best that this happened now. Close the book and find another date; it'll happen no problem.

[trailwolf]

i agree , its best it happened now rather than later , now u can get on with ur life . i promise u will find someone else better than this one !

[d0nnivain]

It was nothing you did.

 

While he has no business looking for a new relationship if he's not ready, at least you found out & don't have to wonder.

 

Next.

[kendahke]

So I met this guy online who was super cute and super nice to me. We chatted all day Sunday and he asked me to get coffee this Wednesday, to which I said yes. The next day he sent me a good morning text and we chatted a little more. Yesterday morning I texted him to confirm and he said he was totally down for coffee, but felt bad it wasn't more and asked if I wanted to wait until Saturday and he would take me on a real dinner date. I said coffee was fine and to let me know when he was out of work and ready to meet.

Half an hour before he gets out, I get this text: Hey, I have to be entirely honest with you. I feel like **** telling you so last minute and it took me a little bit to sort of mull this over. I realized today I'm still really caught up on my ex. We still talk and she honestly kind of strings me along. But it wouldn't be fair to you for me to put myself out there when i'm still feeling for someone else. You seem lovely, seriously. I'm just not in a mindset for dating right now

 

This made me feel like ****. I can't help but wonder if it was something i did. I know it was wrong on his part to cancel so last minute, but it hurt and I'm disappointed because I had an interest in this guy.

 

No. It was nothing you did. Don't let your mind go there. This was totally on him.

 

He knew when he talked to you on Sunday that he wasn't over his ex, but he still went ahead and did it. Chances are, he went online out of revenge against his ex and didn't realize that he would strike gold that day with you. After being unsuccessful in trying to postpone your meeting until Saturday (when you held firm to Wednesday like planned), he realized he was caught between Scylla and Charybdis.

 

It's good he came clean instead of standing you up.

[papayagirl]

You guys are right. I just can't help wondering if I came on too strong or something and it scared him. But it does make sense that it was the ex because he was still talking to me that morning. I realize it would not have worked out anyway if he still had feelings for the ex, so it is best he told me now.

[coolheadal]

So I met this guy online who was super cute and super nice to me. We chatted all day Sunday and he asked me to get coffee this Wednesday, to which I said yes. The next day he sent me a good morning text and we chatted a little more. Yesterday morning I texted him to confirm and he said he was totally down for coffee, but felt bad it wasn't more and asked if I wanted to wait until Saturday and he would take me on a real dinner date. I said coffee was fine and to let me know when he was out of work and ready to meet.

Half an hour before he gets out, I get this text: Hey, I have to be entirely honest with you. I feel like **** telling you so last minute and it took me a little bit to sort of mull this over. I realized today I'm still really caught up on my ex. We still talk and she honestly kind of strings me along. But it wouldn't be fair to you for me to put myself out there when i'm still feeling for someone else. You seem lovely, seriously. I'm just not in a mindset for dating right now

 

This made me feel like ****. I can't help but wonder if it was something i did. I know it was wrong on his part to cancel so last minute, but it hurt and I'm disappointed because I had an interest in this guy.

 

 

This happens all the time, but you wasn't ready to do more with him on his larger frame of dating Saturday. You just wanted to go on the safe bet. So what he did is the easy way out excuse. He still has feeling for his and ex. But wait you talk all day on the phone the other night. What gives so now you know the other little deal you have to watch out for. He might been into casual sex or booty call. Just don't known with this guys. Now forget him move on to the next because he's done with you and might have made other arrangements after he was done talking to you. This the game field and your in it now.

[papayagirl]

So I went on a date with a guy A few weeks ago and it seemed to go well, we talked for like 2 hours and then ended with us making out in his car for a long time. When he dropped me off he said it was fun and he would talk to me soon. The following days he snap chatted me a few times each day and texted a bit during one of them. Three days ago I asked him if I wanted to pick a day to hang out this week and he answered saying no because he “wasn’t super feeling it” and he was so busy all the time he knew it wouldn’t work. (This seems kind of true-he drives a lot for his job and he will work from 8 am to at least 6:3-/7 M-F, and then has to drive a long drive home.

He does work long days but I don’t understand why he would kiss me so much if he wasn’t feeling it or why he would continue to snapchat (or view my stories) me if he didn’t want to see me again/ had zero interest.

Also, on my birthday I drunk snap chatted him and he answered, I later apologized for messaging him and he was like "No don't even worry about it you're fine". I drunkenly apologized again and he was like "you're fine".

Also I’m just looking for casual right now which I told him so I don’t get why the sudden change.

 

My question is, did I ask him to hang out again too soon and scare him away? Why would he kiss me so much if he wasn't feeling it? Why still answer my snap chats/view my stories?

[wonder17]

Maybe he feels you eventually would want something thats more than casual? You drunk texted him, he might think you think about him a lot.

 

Sometimes casual to a man is just the chase, and he already got that.

[kendahke]

I'd say that given your questions above and the actions you instigated, this isn't casual--this is angling for a relationship. It sounds like you want more than casual and he's picked up on that.

 

Him making out with you in the car after your first meeting isn't a contract for him owing you a relationship. He probably figured that would be the last time he'd see you, so why not? since you were willing.

 

Even if you do want casual, he's got to feel it to want it and he's not feeling it with you.

 

Sometimes, these things work out and sometimes they don't. Everyone has a right to their preferences.

[ExpatInItaly]

How did you meet?

 

Maybe he's dating others too and met someone he connects with more.

[act00]

Everyone loves a good makeout session. It doesn't necessarily mean it's something that's going to go the distance. Yes, I have been in situations where everything is going great, there's some kissing, affection, good conversation, necking, and they have to be interested in taking it further, as in dating and relationship, right? But they don't. No one knows why. It could be he didn't really feel a connection to you, as in girlfriend material and long-term, but enjoyed the heck out of some affection and intimacy. Maybe he met another girl who wants serious, not casual, and that's where his priority is.

 

Maybe it's not zero interest. Maybe he realizes that he really doesn't have the time to devote to a relationship, and while he very much enjoyed your encounter, it's not something that can continue.

 

My thought is to just let this one go. Maybe he'll want to connect again, maybe not. You stated you only want casual, and casual is what you're getting.

 

I don't know what he's looking for, but if he wants a serious and long-term commitment, he's not going to want to invest a lot of time in you, if you're not seeking the same. He'll "like" your stuff, maybe call for a hookup.

 

For someone that only wants "casual," you're investing a lot of worry about his motives and intentions. Do you want someone serious or not? Are you hoping to have a couple guys on the back burner, highly devoted to you, and you'll call on them when you're in the mood? Because it seems to me, you want something more in the area of serious and permanent if you want and expect your guy to be more communicative and spend more time with you. If you want casual, you're going to run into this a lot. Given his busy schedule, he might want casual too, which means he's only going contact you when it suits him, and since you only want casual, this should work for you as well.

 

Decide if you want casual or long-term.

[papayagirl]

So I went on a date with a guy A few weeks ago and it seemed to go well, we talked for like 2 hours and then ended with us making out in his car for a long time. When he dropped me off he said it was fun and he would talk to me soon. The following days he snap chatted me a few times each day and texted a bit during one of them. Three days ago I asked him if I wanted to pick a day to hang out this week and he answered saying no because he “wasn’t super feeling it” and he was so busy all the time he knew it wouldn’t work. (This seems kind of true-he drives a lot for his job and he will work from 8 am to at least 6:3-/7 M-F, and then has to drive a long drive home.

He does work long days but I don’t understand why he would kiss me so much if he wasn’t feeling it or why he would continue to snapchat (or view my stories) me if he didn’t want to see me again/ had zero interest.

Also, on my birthday I drunk snap chatted him and he answered, I later apologized for messaging him and he was like "No don't even worry about it you're fine". I drunkenly apologized again and he was like "you're fine".

Also I’m just looking for casual right now which I told him so I don’t get why the sudden change.

 

Also now he views every single one of my snapchat stories. I don't understand why he would even keep me on there let alone have any interest in my stories if he had no interest in me.

 

Opinions?

[Sprince92]

I wouldnt read too much into it. Snapchat is something people look at when they are bore. I'm sure he looks at everyones snap chat stories and it doesnt really mean anything unless he was making it a point to respond every time to it.

 

BUT as far as the kissing and stuf goes, he's a guy. It probably was just a hookup session to him. many times things like that mean more to some people than they do to guys and if you asked him about it he probably wouldnt even see what the big deal was.

 

I say you move on. you can get casual with anyone.

 

good luck!

[stillafool]

I agree. He is just bored and looked at your snapchat as well as others. If he told you he isn't really feeling it that is all you need to know to stop contact. He was kissing you to see if he felt sparks and apparently he didn't so that is probably what he meant by he wasn't feeling it - the kiss. Just because he said "no, don't even worry about it" when you drunk texted him doesn't mean anything either except he was being kind to you because he know you like him.

If you are just looking for a casual relationship it shouldn't matter what is going on with this guy since he isn't interested. You should be moved on to another guy by now.

[knabe]

Snapchat was made to look at. Looking at it doesn't have a meaning other than boredome or curiosity.

[vintageluna]

I went on one date with a guy that didn't lead anywhere and he still views my snapchat story sometimes. Personally, I agree that it's just something done out of boredom/curiosity. I wouldn't read too much into it unless he tries to contact you directly.

[kendahke]

So I went on a date with a guy A few weeks ago and it seemed to go well, we talked for like 2 hours and then ended with us making out in his car for a long time.

 

he answered saying no because he “wasn’t super feeling it”

 

I don’t understand why he would kiss me so much if he wasn’t feeling it

 

As I said on your other thread about this same guy:

Him making out with you in the car after your first meeting isn't a contract for him owing you a relationship.

 

You had a "snap-encounter"... just like with snap-chat, the interest fades within 24 hours.

[Zahara]

I don’t understand why he would kiss me so much if he wasn’t feeling it

 

There are guys that can have sex with you and have zero emotion, interest or connection with you. Something you need to grasp really quickly. Just because that kind of intimacy carries significance with you, it does not with others. Kissing was just kissing. It was enjoyable and that was about it.

 

Also now he views every single one of my snapchat stories.

 

Boredom.

[mortensorchid]

It's not you, it's him. The guy's a complete loser for saying something so immature that he's not over someone from the past and that he's not going to give you the time of day over something you didn't do. You want nothing to do with this person, move on.