geotaz Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Bit of a long story so please bare with me... Few months ago on a night out got chatting to this girl at the bar, ended up talking for hours, she told me how she was on a break with her ex (her choice) and although it was the first time we met each other we seemed to be able to easily talk to each other really openly. Few days later we started messaging each other, she was quite upfront that she wasn’t over her ex or sure what to do with the situation, we messaged each other as friends, met up a few times for lunch etc, then she told me that she can’t stop thinking about me and has ended it with him for good. We ended up going on a few dates, every time we met I felt like we got closer, we would often end up chatting until the early hours of the morning without any effort. I have had a few relationships but I have honestly never felt a connection like this before. We continued to talk/message every day and meet up or stay round each other’s, I even met her parents, and she told me that they really liked me. Now when we went on dates she was shocked that I wouldn’t let her pay, as her ex had never once paid for a meal, something I found a little odd, but I never said anything negative about him to her. So everything was going amazing, although we said we would take it slow it just sort of naturally progressed into what it was. Then I received a message along the lines of ‘I need to speak to you, you’re going to hate me, ive been thinking a lot of the past couple of days and as much as I think your lovely and I love talking & seeing you, I don’t feel like we can go anywhere as im not completely over my ex, I just feel like its not going to work, im not in the right place and I don’t want to lead you on, although I wouldn’t blame you for thinking I have and hating me.’ Few other messages exchanged ‘I don’t want it to go further along and then not work out or hurt you even more, I feel like such a **** person I don’t want to hurt you, you don’t deserve this at all, youre literally so lovely, its not that im not into you but because I still have feelings for me ex, he contacted me a few days ago and its all confusing me right now and its not fair to carry on seeing how it goes with you when I have strong feelings for my ex, its not fair on you and I can’t do that.’ I told her I didn’t hate her, and that I would give her some space rather than continue to message her. Since then we haven’t spoken, this was about a week ago. I am honestly so lost though, I can’t stop thinking about her, like all the time. I am really unsure what to do, part of me is saying don’t message her, let her be and if it’s meant to be she will come back around. The other part of me is thinking I know her ex didn’t treat her very well, and more importantly I know that the time we spent together we had really strong connection something that is worth fighting for and by leaving her be she may end up going back to him because that’s the only option left. My question is what should I do, I honestly don’t want to give up on her as I really feel like we could have something special.
Zahara Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 My question is what should I do, I honestly don’t want to give up on her as I really feel like we could have something special. You should move on. This mess with her ex may go on for a long time and you don't want to be roped into that. She's probably back with him. Don't project. You really feel YOU could have something special with her. Don't speak for her.
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