Confused: I don't get Why this guy is Obsessed with Me....

[radiofreddie]

This is kind of a "friend" issue, but not really...More of a psychological thing?

 

I posted once before about this. I'm just having trouble trying

to understand what this dude's deal is.....

 

 

i'm a 28 yr old dude, have an "sort of friend" who is bugging me.

BASICALLY....we're not super, super, close friends....We went thru a similar

situation over a year ago, where Both of our girlfriends (who were friends)

Broke up with us, like 3 weeks apart.

 

Since I knew this dude (thru my girlfriend) and we both had been hit with break-ups

and our girls were hanging out with each other and going off on some "i'm still

young, I don't want to settle down, Keep My options open" kind of trip, me

and this dude started hanging out more...going to a few concerts together,

talking about our break-ups, trying to understand why, I let him crash on my couch,

since he had no place to stay, after the break-up, i was an ear to hear his problems..

(even though, i could see why she left him....)

 

Long story short, I don't have TONS in common with him, He can be kind of a jerk,

but is a "talker" and always blabs about how he loves to help the community, how

he lives by strong morals, How he's a caring person, A Love your Brother kinda guy,

How his new girl is so much better than his Ex, etc etc. (he still talks about his

ex, a lot.)

 

But his personality is very ABRASIVE at times and he cracks jokes and insults at the

expense of others, way too much. That's just his way. Not sure if it's a defense mechinism

for being self-concious or what. It get's VERY annoying. He's just a loud, obnoxious,

nosey, busy body kinda guy.

 

SO ANYWAY: I don't like him around my friends... or around my new Girlfriend. All he does is make

fun of them and he just acts like a jerk, but always says he's just Joking. He likes to get all

buddy buddy with my friends and make fun of my girlfriend to be funny to her face and

just try and be The Life Of The Party.

 

I sort of stopped calling him over 7 months ago, but he always calls (ALWAYS) and asks

to hang out or grab dinner etc. He always asks to go on double dates too.

Sometimes I blow it off, make up a story or I'll just give in and go hang with him because,

well, i don't know how to tell him to F*ck Off.

 

Lately he's been calling A LOT and I don't call him back. Yesterday he called and said,

"Yo Brother i want to hang, Cuz you know, You're still my brother, so I'm going to call

everyday until you call me back, cuz i'm annoying like that so, yeah, give me a call yo!"

 

 

I just want the dude to get a clue, but I don't want to hurt his feelings...For some reason he

really feels like were best buds, And maybe that's my fault for helping him out or for

hanging with him way back when, but I just don't care for the guy, he's not

"Friends for life" material.

 

 

What do I Do?

[suegail]

It might be of some help to him if you decide to be honest and just let him know that you don't enjoy his company for the reasons you've stated. He may never speak to you again, but he will never forget what you've said and at some point may consider it as he checks off the list of people who avoid him at all costs.

 

On the other hand, if he's a true narcissistic, he may never know, may never care what anyone thinks.