SingleDad82 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I've been divorced for close to two years from a woman that I was married to for close to 10 years and 13 all together and 2 kids.She cheated on me and then subsequently married the guy she was having an affair with. To say the separation and divorce was brutal is an understatement. Anyways, I recently felt like I was ready to get back into the swing of things and date, and met someone, a great girl. Just one problem.. Every SINGLE time I meet someone that is a worthy candidate to date and after a extended period of time hanging out together, things always tend to get a little serious... and I BAIL.. big time. Am I just not ready? Is it because of the pain of the betrayal that I am avoiding relationships? What the hell is wrong with me?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I've been divorced for close to two years from a woman that I was married to for close to 10 years and 13 all together and 2 kids.She cheated on me and then subsequently married the guy she was having an affair with. To say the separation and divorce was brutal is an understatement. Anyways, I recently felt like I was ready to get back into the swing of things and date, and met someone, a great girl. Just one problem.. Every SINGLE time I meet someone that is a worthy candidate to date and after a extended period of time hanging out together, things always tend to get a little serious... and I BAIL.. big time. Am I just not ready? Is it because of the pain of the betrayal that I am avoiding relationships? What the hell is wrong with me? What reasons do you usually give for bailing? I think maybe you just not have found the right person....many of us have been/currently are in your shoes. I don't think the fact I was cheated on and hurt means I won't ever be able to have a relationship again, but I just haven't found that person who is going to make my life better than it is right now. How many women have you bailed on?
kendahke Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) I've been divorced for close to two years from a woman that I was married to for close to 10 years and 13 all together and 2 kids.She cheated on me and then subsequently married the guy she was having an affair with. To say the separation and divorce was brutal is an understatement. Anyways, I recently felt like I was ready to get back into the swing of things and date, and met someone, a great girl. Just one problem.. Every SINGLE time I meet someone that is a worthy candidate to date and after a extended period of time hanging out together, things always tend to get a little serious... and I BAIL.. big time. Am I just not ready? Is it because of the pain of the betrayal that I am avoiding relationships? What the hell is wrong with me? Sounds like. You're not emotionally ready to be in a new relationship. Have you worked with a therapist on this? Might be a good idea if what you're doing keeps putting your further and further from what you say you want. I was recently dating a guy and I thought things were going reasonably well when he suddenly bailed and used the excuse that he wasn't over his marriage breaking up 4 years prior. His wife cheated on him, too, so perhaps you're of the mind that you're going to get cheated on again, so you pull back when emotions and investment/trust in the relationship are on par with where you were before you discovered the infidelity. Who knows? Working with a therapist will get at the root of this so you can pull it out for good. Edited June 20, 2017 by kendahke
smackie9 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 if you just want casual, then do OLD and stipulate that you are not looking for a committed relationship. There are plenty who are looking for fun hookups and light companionship. Once you relax and start feeling right about yourself, then you will be ready for something serious....you are in no rush, so just enjoy the variety of women out there.
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