What have I done

[youngandinlove]

I have been with a man for 7 years within those seven years we have broke up 1000 times I had a lot of secrets and I couldn't bear to come clean. One secret we broke up and I slept with someone new this someone is who I thought I would get over him with but I ended up loosing interest and going back to the man I know and love . But I did that because I was telling myself he was cheating on me with all his "so called female friends", I eventually came clean n he took me back but he was never the same after that. He began to openly talk about seeing other ppl and not having and titles to our relationship that made me bitter and bitterness turned into envy because I wanted him to be like he used to be fast forward to many break ups later I tried to get over him again and I slept with someone new and 6 months later we started back up dating me and my old love. I decided not to tell him about this last guy because of how he took the news first time... I changed a lot I began to dress modestly I stopped drinking and doing drugs which was a problem through out our relationship I wanted him to see me in a totally different light because I felt that I was truly a changed woman. But he began to openly disrespect our relationship again and one night our fight got physical and he has never hit me so I was shocked he then told me he has been with 6 other women since we have been together he asked me to be open about what I have done so that we can move forward either break up or work it out but in that moment I decided not to tell him after that it began to be very awkward for me the truth started to eat me up he began telling his family he was going to marry me I started to sweat and have night mares like who was I kidding he doesn't know what I've done I'm not the woman he thinks . I decided to make up a reason to fight and I moved out but today I sent him a long text and I told him the truth about everything I am sorry if this thread is long and has no breaks I'm shaking as I'm texting this it has been 2 hours since I sent him the message and he hasn't responded you guys did I do the right thing or should I have taken this to my grave I might have lost him forever

[xenawarriorprincess]

But he began to openly disrespect our relationship again and one night our fight got physical and he has never hit me so I was shocked he then told me he has been with 6 other women since we have been together he asked me to be open about what I have done so that we can move forward either break up or work it out but in that moment I decided not to tell him after that it began to be very awkward for me the truth started to eat me up he began telling his family he was going to marry me I started to sweat and have night mares like who was I kidding he doesn't know what I've done I'm not the woman he thinks .should I have taken this to my grave I might have lost him forever

 

This guy doesn’t seem much invested in you to be honest. You are both aware of your incompatibility which is why you continue to break up. He has physically assaulted you, and made you aware that he has been with several women in between your breaks. And yet you are the one feeling guilty over your engagements with other men during the time when you were single? You are wracking your brain trying to save a relationship that isn’t going to benefit you. You need to value yourself because this man doesn’t value you. There are some great guys out there; take some time to grieve this relationship and go out a find a man who is worthy of your love and energy.

[LastAcorn99]

I’m sorry about your situation, friend. It looks like both you and your boyfriend has commitment issues. I feel it’s not wise to consider marriage at this point; because, I believe that for any relationship to last a lifetime, there has to be selfless love, respect, commitment, honesty, and trust as nonnegotiable foundations. Also, I’m concerned that your fight got physical. I would strongly suggest that you take the time to really consider if your relationship has the potential for a healthy and committed partnership. Please seek wise counsel from friends and family or a counselor, okay? Sending you love and prayers. ((Hugs))

[Maldives]

Wow u guys have a lot or issues and he hit u thats a deal breaker right there.

 

I think u need counseling to steer u out or this mess and into a healthy mindset.

 

I'm certainly not gonna encourage u to go back to someone who's physically abused u sweetie. U need to move on. Maybe prior to that there were things u may have been able to work outhrough but the hitting I a big no no. It hurts but for that reason alone end it.

[Redhead14]

A relationship built on lies and secrets is a relationship built on sand. There is no substantial foundation and it crumbles. It's a house of cards. You can keep "rebuilding" it, but until you start using construction materials that are sound and strong -- i.e. honesty, trust, communication, you are wasting your time.

 

or should I have taken this to my grave -- This relationship has been dead for a long, long time. It's time to bury it and start focusing on YOU and becoming a mature, strong, secure woman who knows what she wants and accepts nothing less than what she deserves and so does he. To me this relationship is a Frankenstein relationship. Two people trying to make something out of inadequate and insufficient pieces with nothing valuable. They get it to walk around and look like a relationship, but it isn't pretty.