an0nym0us123 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Have being seeing a girl for almost 2 months. I'd known she fancied me for a while and in the end she told me and we started meeting up. She is very very nice and attractive. I know she likes me a lot. She initiates almost all texting and always wants to see me. However when it comes to sex she seems to be pretty shy. She will never initiate anything apart from kissing. I have to physically take her hand and put it where I want it or nothing would happen. She never says anything sexy during it and there are one or two things she doesn't seem to enjoy that I find very odd. I've tried sexy messages a few times and only once did I get her to play along every other time she would just reply with "I see" or something to kill it off. She is 10 years younger than me and I wonder if she is intimidated by me slightly. I told her not to be shy and she says she's not shy. It's almost 2 months and I'm starting to worry now that we are incompatible. There's nothing more of a turn on to me than a girl who will go for it. Should I say something or leave it and see? She's great and I don't want to mess it up.
caveman621 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 You don't give your ages other than you are ten years older. That might be germane if it's 18 and 28. Not so much 35 to 45 or something. I think the question is, what do you want from this relationship? If it's somebody to do fun things with and also the physical part, it might be OK for awhile. But if you're looking for a lifetime partner, probably not. I learned the hard way that sex is not ALL of a relationship, but it IS a large and important part of one. It sounds like you two are not compatible when it comes to sex. If you try to just ignore it and end up marrying her or something, this could be a big issue.
planb1973 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Some people are just like that. If she is young she may not have come out of her sexual shell, or just lacks some confidence in that department. If she is older this may just be who she is. Do you want to have a life of boring sex? In my personal experience I was like this till I met a particular woman who somehow managed to get me out of my shell. That relationship ended badly but she did a hell of a job preparing me for future women. The next woman I was with was as you described. All the encouragement I could give never changed her "shy" sexuality. We went our separate ways till recently when we hooked up, and she is still the same. Best woman I have ever known but the sex is too boring. Makes me sad but simple truth is we are not compatible in that way.
preraph Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 She's not a porn star. She's just a girl. And she's a girl who isn't comfortable initiating and probably doesn't want to do anything real wild. And don't be surprised if she gets tired of you pushing her head down on you or things like that. A lot of women, shy or not, are not going to be sexting with anyone. A lot of them just find it silly and embarrassing and also get tired of a man just being only focused on sex.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 20, 2017 Author Posted June 20, 2017 I'm 30 she's just over ten years younger. She's not a pornstar no but I'd like to be with someone who at least enjoys the basics and willing to initiate. I'll give it time and encourage her but if this is all there is then I'm going to struggle. My ex would tear my jeans off but this is totally different.
preraph Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I think the ex was probably more the exception than this girl is. But why aren't you still with her? Sometimes there's a tradeoff. A woman who's adventurous in bed may also be adventurous in other ways and maybe not conventional. Give her time to get comfortable, but not every woman is going to be a tiger in bed. I'd venture that most are a bit more bold than this one though. I said about porn star because maybe not you, but a lot of guys, this is the sum total of their knowledge about what they think sex should be and of course it isn't at all realistic. But I can tell you're more experienced than that. But she's not and may or may not ever be.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 20, 2017 Author Posted June 20, 2017 I think the ex was probably more the exception than this girl is. But why aren't you still with her? Sometimes there's a tradeoff. A woman who's adventurous in bed may also be adventurous in other ways and maybe not conventional. Give her time to get comfortable, but not every woman is going to be a tiger in bed. I'd venture that most are a bit more bold than this one though. I said about porn star because maybe not you, but a lot of guys, this is the sum total of their knowledge about what they think sex should be and of course it isn't at all realistic. But I can tell you're more experienced than that. But she's not and may or may not ever be. Maybe tear off was an exaggeration but she would certainly get in about with out asking and in the middle of the night she'd come on. My ex was good in bed but the rest wasn't so good. I'm now in the opposite situation. I'll give her time and see. There's nothing wrong with it per say. but it's depressing that I have to be the one to start it and there were a couple of odd comments that raised an eyebrow
preraph Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Yeah, women come in a lot of different combinations of personality and sexuality. I am one and I know there's all kinds. Like one friend of mine is passive in everything in her life, just very chill and nonconfrontational , but she is demanding in bed. I think it's because her mom was very sexual and straightforward about it and she just looks at it like what's in it for me, but is also giving back, not just one way. Another friend of mine is very aggressive and flirtatious in bed and out and she's also a mental case, though, and she is only particular about certain things and not others. But a lot of women are more passive because they do want the man to lead, but leading doesn't necessarily mean telling them what to do, so it's a bit of a tightrope.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 21, 2017 Author Posted June 21, 2017 Last night instead of dragging her hand about i just left it. I was touching her for ages and she made no attempt to touch me back at all. I am quite worried now i dont know if i can be with someone like this long term. Its a shame because everything else is great.
coolheadal Posted June 21, 2017 Posted June 21, 2017 Last night instead of dragging her hand about i just left it. I was touching her for ages and she made no attempt to touch me back at all. I am quite worried now i dont know if i can be with someone like this long term. Its a shame because everything else is great. Why don't you talk to her about it. So you have 20 year old girl there and your in 30s. You have the experience while she's just learning. You have to give it time, why do you rush into things. I don't get.. Every woman out there is totally different in bed. You might have to teach her how to make you happy in bed. Don't wait for it because she might not know how. If you don't want to teach then move on to someone else but I wouldn't do that if I was you you have what most of us men want. Keep her and teach her.
Author an0nym0us123 Posted June 21, 2017 Author Posted June 21, 2017 Why don't you talk to her about it. So you have 20 year old girl there and your in 30s. You have the experience while she's just learning. You have to give it time, why do you rush into things. I don't get.. Every woman out there is totally different in bed. You might have to teach her how to make you happy in bed. Don't wait for it because she might not know how. If you don't want to teach then move on to someone else but I wouldn't do that if I was you you have what most of us men want. Keep her and teach her. I will talk to her at some point im leaving it to see if it will come naturally. I do sense she is quite un ambitious though and im not sure thats something that can be taught. I wont go into specifics but there were a couple of comments made about things that happened that were odd and now i feel bad for doing them again.
Recommended Posts