Quirkster Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) Originally I was getting a kick watching all the guys in the office slobbering over this girl during her first few weeks. Then one day we happened to leave at the same time, so I chatted her up on the way to the parking garage. She brought up how colleagues of ours mentioned a cool place next door to kill time when traffic is backed up followed by "we should check it out." Caught me by complete surprise. Instead of immediately setting a time, I overanalyzed the whole thing to decide whether or not that meant "we" as in her and I or "we" as in us and our colleagues. Then I gave a lot though to the work dynamic in play. Part of me feels that if that was authentic - then I'm risking an expiration date if I don't act. She often smiles wide when she walks by my desk. However, I've always taken the lead on initiating conversation (mostly thru our work instant messenger) and I consider myself to be doing most of the overt flirting in those chats. I even put it out there that I asked about her when I ran into a mutual friend of her ex's. Told her she got a glowing review. Last Monday I decided I wasn't getting the desired reciprocation and was tired of watching how easily she would chat with other guys in the office. Spent the rest of the week not making eye contact, not sending her any chats - it was basically as though she wasn't in the office. Well she noticed alright. She ramped up on the desk walk-by's (prolly 9-10 times a day) and then early on the ensuing Friday she chatted me with "Are you mad at me?" Felt good to assert myself and get the reaction I wanted, but I can't tell where this girl is coming from. The problem is she has me romantically awake like I haven't been in a really long time. When we lock eyes it has me feeling like life put this girl right here for me. Thoughts/Suggestions? Edited June 20, 2017 by Quirkster
Author Quirkster Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 The other day after a quick work-related chat she asked me about a small eyebrow pierce she was thinking about getting and wanted to know if I liked them. Indicator of interest?
knabe Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 Both these posts are an indicator of thinking too much. Just live in the moment and let it unfold. 3
CptInsano Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 She may just want to get to know you and will not have a deeper interest until then. You can circle back and ask if she wants to go to the place she mentioned earlier. Just let it flow and see what develops. 1
preraph Posted June 22, 2017 Posted June 22, 2017 It's a possible date, not a pending marriage proposal so stop making too much of it and just go do that and find out what it is or is not.
Author Quirkster Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 It's a possible date, not a pending marriage proposal so stop making too much of it and just go do that and find out what it is or is not. LOL. Definitely NOT thinking marriage here. Perhaps my "romantically awake" comment might have been a bit overboard in it's purpose - I just meant I was smitten. It takes a lot for me to get like this. Can only count the times on one hand.
Author Quirkster Posted June 22, 2017 Author Posted June 22, 2017 She may just want to get to know you and will not have a deeper interest until then. You can circle back and ask if she wants to go to the place she mentioned earlier. Just let it flow and see what develops. I've wanted to. Just caught on how I phrase it - concerned by the possibility she meant "we" as in us and our other team members. Tryin' not to embarrass myself.
Unforseen Posted June 23, 2017 Posted June 23, 2017 Just relax and take a breath. The risk of a little embarrassment might be worth it if you are attracted to this gal. At the next opportunity suggest to her that it looks like a bad traffic day and ask if she'd like to go check out that place until it clears up some. If she accepts then great! Use it as an opportunity to get to know her and let her get to know you some. If she then asks inviting the rest of the team then at least you'll know which version of "we" she meant. Depending on your confidence level you might be able to redirect with something like "that would be nice, but I was hoping for a chance to get to know you a little better." Either way, good luck to you!
Author Quirkster Posted June 23, 2017 Author Posted June 23, 2017 Just relax and take a breath. The risk of a little embarrassment might be worth it if you are attracted to this gal. At the next opportunity suggest to her that it looks like a bad traffic day and ask if she'd like to go check out that place until it clears up some. If she accepts then great! Use it as an opportunity to get to know her and let her get to know you some. If she then asks inviting the rest of the team then at least you'll know which version of "we" she meant. Depending on your confidence level you might be able to redirect with something like "that would be nice, but I was hoping for a chance to get to know you a little better." Either way, good luck to you! I think you're right. Was actually sitting here debating just coming out with it like "Hey remember when ..... were you referring to us two or the group?" and just get it over with already. I've been dancing around it for a while, attempting to get her to bring it up again in conversations that I initiate. I'm only getting that way because I'm cautious about the "work" element of it. Ironically my colleague to the left of pinged me end of day yesterday and said he noticed a flirt going on and that he thinks she's into me.
Author Quirkster Posted June 28, 2017 Author Posted June 28, 2017 (edited) Welp, an email just went around work that yesterday was her last day. This just got interesting. Now I'm going to have to rely on Facebook - she sent me a friend request back when the flirting first started (only guy in the office too). On one hand, it's easier if she's not a co-worker, but on the other will definitely miss seeing that angelic face of hers passing by my desk 6-7 times a day. I was literally going to ask her tomorrow about grabbing that drink - planned to do it then because I'm off after that for 5 days, which would give a nice buffer in case of rejection. I'm reminded of why it's important to not think so much and strike while the iron is hot or more importantly when I want something. Edited June 28, 2017 by Quirkster
d0nnivain Posted June 28, 2017 Posted June 28, 2017 Just reach out & ask her out for a drink. Call it a celebration of her new job (assuming she has one)
Author Quirkster Posted June 28, 2017 Author Posted June 28, 2017 Just reach out & ask her out for a drink. Call it a celebration of her new job (assuming she has one) That's the plan. ...... and she was being more flirty than normal yesterday too. 1
Author Quirkster Posted July 2, 2017 Author Posted July 2, 2017 (edited) Welp, sent her a quick message on FB yesterday about finally grabbing that drink sometime ........ She read it. No response. Zero. Appreciate all the input from everyone. Looks like there was nothing there to begin with. Time to drift back into apathy for while. Edited July 2, 2017 by Quirkster
Author Quirkster Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 And of course who do I run into last night when I was out for Sunday Funday? Her of course. She came all the way over to me to chat and was being really friendly. I didn't even bring up the message I sent her on FB. I officially have no idea where this chick is coming from though.
d0nnivain Posted July 3, 2017 Posted July 3, 2017 And of course who do I run into last night when I was out for Sunday Funday? Her of course. She came all the way over to me to chat and was being really friendly. I didn't even bring up the message I sent her on FB. I officially have no idea where this chick is coming from though. When she came over, you should have asked her out in person. It's much harder to duck somebody in the moment. It's very easy to be evasive or non responsive through text or social media. If she squirmed when you asked then you would have known to give up. Now you remain in limbo & I bet she's just as confused because you didn't seize the opportunity
Author Quirkster Posted July 3, 2017 Author Posted July 3, 2017 (edited) When she came over, you should have asked her out in person. It's much harder to duck somebody in the moment. It's very easy to be evasive or non responsive through text or social media. If she squirmed when you asked then you would have known to give up. Now you remain in limbo & I bet she's just as confused because you didn't seize the opportunity I told her last night I was really impressed by her and not to be a stranger. But I just didn't have it in me to go full blown "let's hang out" - kind of rubbed me the wrong way that she didn't respond at all to the FB message and I also didn't want to come off overbearing. I never once thought a no response was gonna happen. At worst I thought she might deflect ...... but no response? I'm definitely in some kind of limbo here. I hate it. I mean why even come over to me to chat? Edited July 3, 2017 by Quirkster
Author Quirkster Posted July 4, 2017 Author Posted July 4, 2017 (edited) Putting this one to bed. I mentioned in my original post in this thread that I know a guy who dated her ex. It was one of the first things she asked me about after she was looking thru my friends list on Facebook. Saturday night when we were chatting she brought him up again asking about the conversation I had with him a month ago. I reassured her it was nothing but good things. She then told me the ex- cheated on her. I didn't know about that part, I just knew the guy lavished her with trips, gifts, etc etc and them dropped her like a bad habit. The real problem here traces back to my association with the mutual friend. It indirectly put me in the crosshairs of a situation between her and her ex that clearly still lingers. I mean why else would she bring that up again? The day I told her I asked the mutual friend about her was supposed to be a nudge nudge hint hint kind of thing. I wanted her to see I was interested, but being low-key about it. However, in the ensuing days I remember I was paranoid about it and thought I should have just kept it to myself. In her mind my connection to the mutual friend and the ex- is more than likely exaggerated. The mutual friend is just someone I see out in the city when I go for drinks. Either way this situation is pretty much dead. I sent her a follow up message Monday afternoon telling her it was good seeing her again and that her ex- is a moron. No response again. Man I just hope sometime soon I can feel this way again. It was so great being excited to see someone on a daily basis. Edited July 4, 2017 by Quirkster
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