jerrygordon3 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 So. Dating a girl for awhile. This morning I woke up and she said she had a hunt hunch that I was going something wrong and that she had a dream three times where someone told her to run. Recently a fling added me on instgeamz someone I dated briefly a year plus ago. Not only did she kind of hang up on me first thing in the morning and I was super understanding and patient. But she ended up contacting the girl later and the girl texted me. My gf texted this chick and asked her if " we were still ****ing and since when does a mans word match his actions". I called her out and was like I'm not mad but you're acting like a crazy person and I think you have trust issues. Long story short I told her I had gotten a text from the girl w a screen shot of her and my flings conversation and she said, haha serves you right for bringing her back into your life. She did exactly what I thought she would do". She proceeded to take no responsibility- and I told her this is a huge red flag and I'm not mad that she contacted the person I'm extremely disappointed that she doesn't take responsibility, have humilty, nor has she met me halfway and apologized for acting out. I'm honestly thinking of breaking up w her. I don't know how to take it cause she's been the best woman I've dated ever but this is a huge red flag
MsJayne Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Sorry if I've misread your post, it's a little confusing, but...your current girlfriend is annoyed that you accepted a friend request from another girl who actually means nothing to you? Then the other girl sent you a screen shot of your current girlfriends text convo with her, which sounds like deliberate trouble-making to me. Sorry, but I'm on the side of the girl you're dating and I think that maybe she's the one who should be seeing the red flags. You say she's the best woman you've ever dated, so why would you accept a friend request from an old 'fling', (not even a real friend), and jeopardise what you have with your current girl? I know young people are social media crazy and can't collect enough followers, but there's a lot to be said for being discerning and keeping riff raff out of your life. 1
Author jerrygordon3 Posted June 20, 2017 Author Posted June 20, 2017 So you're saying it's okay for a 31 year old woman to have a nightmare and a bad feeling in her stomach and start flipping out on you for it. Emailing an objective person that follows me on instagram and ask her if we are still ****ing? So as a man I wouldn't seem like a lunatic if I was dating you and started emailing your ex boyfriends asking if you're still having sex cause I had an upsetting dream and spent all day giving you **** about a bad dream and a "hunch. And when you call me out I'll just say it serves you right and I'm a totally normal person and have zero trust issues... really...?
LastAcorn99 Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I get your dilemma. We all know that misunderstandings can get a relationship messy; and, given that you mentioned she’s been the best woman you’ve dated, I’d suggest that you talk to your girlfriend and figure out what triggered her behavior. I also encourage you to speak to your common friends who truly know the two of you for inputs regarding your situation. And, yes, I do agree that trust has to be the bedrock of any relationship. Blessings!
KBob Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Who follows you on Instagram is completely out of your control. Unless you were talking to your fling behind you gf's back, then you've done nothing wrong. BUT where this story gets shady is how she found out the fling started following you in the first place. You're leaving something out here. How did it come out? 2
healing light Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 I do find your girlfriend's behavior and accusations uncalled for. Giving you crap for a dream and the following inquisitions of a follower before discussing it with you are red flags. I do think it's a big deal that she didn't take responsibility and apologize, especially since this shows her lack of trust in you. However, I could also see where it would be mildly annoying to have your boyfriend allow former flings to follow him, but if you weren't giving the girl a lot of social media attention I think her response is a huge over reaction.
healing light Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 Unless you were talking to your fling behind you gf's back, then you've done nothing wrong. Also agree with this.
MsJayne Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 So you're saying it's okay for a 31 year old woman to have a nightmare and a bad feeling in her stomach and start flipping out on you for it. Emailing an objective person that follows me on instagram and ask her if we are still ****ing? So as a man I wouldn't seem like a lunatic if I was dating you and started emailing your ex boyfriends asking if you're still having sex cause I had an upsetting dream and spent all day giving you **** about a bad dream and a "hunch. And when you call me out I'll just say it serves you right and I'm a totally normal person and have zero trust issues... really...? Oh,no, I'm not saying it's OK to be flipping out. Also, as you didn't mention her age I thought we were talking about someone really young, like very early 20's because of the immature behaviour. Also, the bad dream business, I think she's probably making that up, or at least exaggerating, as a means of raising the subject because she obviously feels extremely insecure and doesn't know how to talk to you about it. Regardless, I really do think that the friend-adding thing on social media can be an unnecessary source of aggravation in the early part of a relationship. I genuinely believe that if you're really into someone they can feel it, and if you're unsure, or just filling the void until someone better comes along, they can also feel that, and that's the root cause of a lot of insecurity and jealousy. Judging by what she said to the Fling she's been used and/or messed around by guys and so she's naturally suspicious and frightened. But no, psycho behaviour is never acceptable. That's one of the awful things about dating, there's so many insincere people around that hardly anyone gets out totally undamaged and perfectly nice, normal people can end up emotionally retarded because of bad experiences. Sorry for waffling on. : )
Gaeta Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 You are dating a mentally unstable woman and your worry is that she doesn't take responsibility for her controlling, manipulative and creepy actions? Really. People like your girlfriend do not take responsibility for their actions because they are mentally unable to. They lack self-awareness and mental maturity to do it and suffer from jealousy and possessiveness at a clinical level.
PegNosePete Posted June 20, 2017 Posted June 20, 2017 this is a huge red flag You keep using that phrase. I don't think it means what you think it means. A red flag means stop. Do not go any further. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200. This woman is a nutter and you are right, these are serious red flags, and you should not proceed any further with this relationship. 2
Recommended Posts