Zhenya Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 We were waiting in line to buy movie tickets, and the whole time I was just thinking how I really wanted to come with a boyfriend. If I had one. Then, I saw this girl hanging on her boyfriend as they were getting popcorn. I couldn’t help it but I kept thinking, how come she has a boyfriend and I don’t? There is nothing special about her, she pretty plain, doesn’t dress that well either. I was getting jealous, he seemed really into her. Have you had those moments, where you just get really frustrated that all the other girls somehow get it and you don’t? I used to think there must be something wrong with me. On one side, I knew I am pretty rational and decently self aware, on the other side, I was clearly missing something. And the worst part is, you can’t really tell anyone, cause everyone will start telling you “oh, you’re just too young, you’ll meet somebody.” Yeah, I’m sure by the time I’m 35 I’ll meet someone, but one - I don’t wanna wait that long, and two - am I gonna be really happy with that somebody or just desperate enough? Of course I didn’t want that to be the case. That’s why I started looking more into relationships trying to figure out what I was missing. Fast forward to today, I LOVE spending time with my boyfriend! We go to the movies, I can curl around him and get held all I want. I love that we talk about everything, I never have to guess where we stand or if he is gonna be there for me. And it’s soo much easier to focus on my professional growth when this part of my life is figured out. Looking back, I realize that I was missing a few things, but the most important one that I still think about every week is learning to love myself and take time for myself. And I don’t mean some weird “love yourself and everything will be fine” B.S. but learning to really appreciate myself and listen more to how I feel. Be less guilty when I don’t feel like doing something, or just wanna relax and take a bath. Not feel pressured to go out, when I feel like staying in and reading a book. Just taking that time for myself really helped me feel more fulfilled, whole and grounded even before I had a boyfriend. AND my boyfriend LOVES it! He loves that I know how keep myself happy and grounded, and it gives him a plenty of time to do his own stuff. So when we are done taking time for ourselves, we have even more energy and love for each other. Are you having trouble saying no sometimes? Will you try doing more for yourself to keep yourself happy and fulfilled? 1
The Urbanyst Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 People honor those who honor themselves. When you are a complete person, everyone wants to be with you! When you're insecure, needy, dramatic, entitled, jealous, etc. you push people away. The biggest lesson I ever learned in dating is one that also applies to everything in life. You must bring VALUE to others. Life is hard enough. No body wants to bring someone into their life who will make their life harder or more difficult. This goes for both genders. Once you learn to offer VALUE to others, while respecting your own, you will THRIVE. When I go on dates with women, I focus on making them as comfortable and happy as possible. But I also evaluate their behavior and focus on how much effort they are putting into the date. If I'm not getting anything back, I have no problem walking away.
Gaeta Posted June 19, 2017 Posted June 19, 2017 I met my boyfriend after being single for 10 years. I was getting tired of making myself happy :-) I had 10 years of reading books and taking quiet bubble bath. I could not wait to make someone else, than myself, the center of my life. :-) Yes I know when to take a break but I am a giver, always been. I find my true happiness in giving and sharing. 2
todreaminblue Posted June 19, 2017 Posted June 19, 2017 I met my boyfriend after being single for 10 years. I was getting tired of making myself happy :-) I had 10 years of reading books and taking quiet bubble bath. I could not wait to make someone else, than myself, the center of my life. :-) Yes I know when to take a break but I am a giver, always been. I find my true happiness in giving and sharing. i am a giver too,love giving i have a lot to give.....but i do want to give it to the right guy.... i dont get jealous when i see lovers together...makes me smile....most of the time ti gives me hope...its a beautiful thing to see love...much better though i you can see it and give it too.....deb
Recommended Posts