The X calls after 2 weeks of NC, did I hang up too quickly?

[totallyconfused]

i havent spoken to my x for almost 2 weeks, and he called me again yesterday twice. the first time it was at work, he called during a time he knows i dont usually pick up. obviously i did not pick up. then he called again last nite but with a different phone number so I ended up picking up the phone. this was probly the longest time we've ever not spoken to each other.

 

as soon as he said my name - i just blurted out "why are you calling me? um can u please not call me anymore please and thank you" and hung up. he was in the middle of saying something, not sure b/c i hung up abruptly. i cant imagine what he could possibly have to say to me? im pretty mad b/c it just stirs up old feelings and makes my stomach go queasy again. i was just getting back home from a 2nd date that i had alot of fun, then he calls as i'm driving home. so i was all happy n giddy then he just mucks it all up.

 

for those that werent following what had happened to me, to sum it all up, he cheated BADLY with me for 3 months n decided to go after some 18y/o online camwhore w/a complete loser background. btw may i repeat, my x is 26.

 

what cud he possibly have to say? i almost wish i didnt hang up, but i just didnt want to hear his lame excuses as they never sounded sincere anymore. ya kno? i know i broke my own rule, but i just looked at their stupid websites and its still the same sexual comments/innuendos and now his little gf is parading him around as she knows i know her site. (she still goes to my site too, its a bit twisted) i guess they have plans to meet his mom next weekend. i'm pretty annoyed as i cant imagine what his mother thinks after dating a girl for 4 years, then brings home some 18y/o clueless skank practically in the same month as i was just spending some family time w/them - the sister at least knows how badly he cheated on me. the x was always a mommas boy.

 

i doubt he's having feelings of regret as why else wud he make plans to have her meet the mom. but why is he calling me now? i feel like i didnt do the right thing by just hanging up on him, b/c maybe now he thinks that i cant "handle" being friends with him or something. i want to just move on, but at the same time i want him to come begging back just so i can kick him down (for pride's sake). oh well i guess, if whatever he had to say was THAT important, he knows my email and screen name - however i did block him off my aim and he knows that. theres always a workaround to that. right?

[upsetnhurt]

Don't think about it too much. This guy has disrespected you time and time again. Nothing he could say is worthwhile. Be strong yet as I read your message posting I can tell you are looking for any reason to call back and chat......don't do it. Remember how hurt you felt when you broke up.....multiply it ten times for what you will feel like the next time he hurts you.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

You shouldn't have even anwsered his call.. I thought you were doing NC to heal ?

 

If you don't want him to call anymore you might tell him in no uncertain terms to NEVER contact you

Don't just ask why are you calling me.

 

If he can't respect that think about changing your number.

 

But... something tells me you like his drama a little.. It makes you feel good.. Strokes your ego some that he is thinking about you

[totallyconfused]

the only reason i had picked up was b/c he called from a different # w/a different area code, plus i thought it was the guy who i just got done goin out on a date calling. lol.

 

the x had called me earlier that day off his phone #, but this time that little bastid got sneaky and used someone else's phone. he knows i wudnt pick up on HIS calls.

 

and i did in fact say "dont call me anymore pls n thanks" and hung up. was that the best thing to do? or does that show one's weakness?

[upsetnhurt]

Why would it show weakness? Your thinking that cause you are dying to know what he wanted and deep down want him to come begging back. Life it too short and you deserve to be happy everyday. Don't waste your thoughts on someone who hurt you in the past..........I know it is easier to say than do. I am in the same boat....waking up this morning and choosing to take a day off cause my head hurts so much from thinking about stupid situations I find myself.

[A Fly onThe Wall]

Originally posted by totallyconfused

and i did in fact say "dont call me anymore pls n thanks" and hung up. was that the best thing to do? or does that show one's weakness?

 

It doesn't show weakness.. Telling someone not to call you is a form of communication..

 

Change your number

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by totallyconfused

and i did in fact say "dont call me anymore pls n thanks" and hung up. was that the best thing to do? or does that show one's weakness?

 

I think you did fine - you communicated that you don't want contact, and he is left remembering what a bastard he has been.

 

I suspect he won't try again for a while, but if he does, try to be calm, but ask him not to contact you - you're not over his cheating.

[totallyconfused]

i guess i'm at that point where i've more than realized its over, but actually moving on. but its like these phone calls kinda take it bak a few. as if i'm trying to slip away, but its like, "oh wait, hold on, just a sec, please hold" before actually letting it all go. never truly realizing just how much my emotions will feck up my decisions that i've already made up in my head.

 

still i ponder what a cheater could possibly have to say? hi im sorry wah wah wah but im really happy with my new gf. its like he's the one that let me go, so let me go!

 

how fast is too fast of a recovery =)