LordRorek Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 I recently read an article about how men never really recover from a break up, just "move on". Do you think thats true? Because if so that deeply depresses me. It means I will be emotinally crippled for the rest of my life...The thought makes me almost suicidal. Here is where I read the article: Do Men Ever Really Recover from Breakups?
Bastile Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 (edited) lol cheer up. It's a nonsense. I would say there was 2 women in my life where it took me a few years each to really get over them mentally. But the thought of never getting over someone is just a bit risible to me. I think some guys never get over something like a divorce. Don't think my dad ever did, and he's a seriously strong guy. But that's more to do with having everything you've worked and invested in been taken away. It's not moping around over one woman for the rest of your days. Turning my attention to the guy in the article... he's a complete crybaby that hasn't had a woman in eight years (!). He operates from extreme scarcity, and is looking for science to validate his weak worldview. Plenty of science around to validate other views too. Transcend such sillyness. Stop reading "women's health magazine" Edited June 18, 2017 by Bastile 1
Author LordRorek Posted June 18, 2017 Author Posted June 18, 2017 (edited) lol cheer up. It's a nonsense. I would say there was 2 women in my life where it took me a few years each to really get over them mentally. But the thought of never getting over someone is just a bit risible to me. I think some guys never get over something like a divorce. Don't think my dad ever did, and he's a seriously strong guy. But that's more to do with having everything you've worked and invested in been taken away. It's not moping around over one woman for the rest of your days. Turning my attention to the guy in the article... he's a complete crybaby that hasn't had a woman in eight years (!). He operates from extreme scarcity, and is looking for science to validate his weak worldview. Plenty of science around to validate other views too. Transcend such sillyness. Stop reading "women's health magazine" I don't I just found the article while web browsing. But yeah maybe you're right I mean this is one study with only like 2000 participants so I probably shouldn't take it as gospel. If you want to here the story of my break up I posted it here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/627147-complete-story-my-breakup Edited June 18, 2017 by LordRorek 1
Bastile Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 I don't I just found the article while web browsing. But yeah maybe you're right I mean this is one study with only like 2000 participants so I probably shouldn't take it as gospel. There are other studies that show a woman often has already broken up with you before she officially does, and often already has the replacement. That, as an example, would also show why women get over break ups easier, and would open up a whole different can of worms. And that's just one study off the top of my head. We can go into studies all day long. That's not the point. The point is frame. You accept this man who hasn't had a girl in nearly a decade, writes for women's health magazine, and admits in public that he cries all night as some sort of authority on anything? What part of this man's nature appeals to you? Spot the problem and fix it. Lest you end up like him. Be very careful who you find an affinity for. And keep focused on positive things. This guy defines nobody but himself. All the best. 1
Author LordRorek Posted June 18, 2017 Author Posted June 18, 2017 There are other studies that show a woman often has already broken up with you before she officially does, and often already has the replacement. That, as an example, would also show why women get over break ups easier, and would open up a whole different can of worms. And that's just one study off the top of my head. We can go into studies all day long. That's not the point. The point is frame. You accept this man who hasn't had a girl in nearly a decade, writes for women's health magazine, and admits in public that he cries all night as some sort of authority on anything? What part of this man's nature appeals to you? Spot the problem and fix it. Lest you end up like him. Be very careful who you find an affinity for. And keep focused on positive things. This guy defines nobody but himself. All the best. Oh I agree the dude is a wimp and I don't feel any affinity for the guy at all. It was just the info from the study that I found troubling not the guy presenting it
Altair0770 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 I don't think it ever has anything to do with gender. As in no science. After my breakup, I, like many, researched statistics on gender on many different forums. Each forum has many questions of, "Do men come back more?" And many people share their experience of men never coming back, women coming back, men always coming back, women always coming back. It's all gender specific. Eventually we always will run into that one person we fall madly in love with, and do anything for them, and in the end we become "boring" and get dumped. Notice that a lot of posters on these forums really fall into the same category. Most the men here have a relationship with someone that is insecure, or has some mental illness or personality disorder. They start thinking about settling down. Some have had their arguments and put the blame on themselves but which relationship doesn't have arguments? You're inviting someone into your life that you want there permanently. Eventually flaws will be exposed. Very rarely do we see the case in which they cheated or did something incredibly awful, but I've noticed those people have their ex wanting to try again. Most women here have a man that was the same way. Have some major issue or mental illness. The reason I think it takes longer for a lot of people to recover from a breakup is the sad truth a lot of us get into relationships with people that just aren't ready, or they start to get bored. A lot of people start dating at young ages, thinking they'll get married. Most men put in a lot of work into a relationship, and in the end it makes them feel awful because they tried so damn hard, and lost someone they love.
Bromeo Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 What rubbish. I can only speak anecdotally, from my own experience. I have loved three women in my life, and all three have departed. It hurt each time. Each time I got over it, and trudged on with my life. The men who get locked into never getting over their ex, are the ones who need validation and approval from women, something I'm sure the readers of the aforementioned article enjoyed picking up on. It's quite romantic and empowering to think the man you left is always going to pine away for you. He will never be the same, and all that jazz. Easy to sell advertising for a readership who pander to this type of nonsense. The truth is as men, we, just like women, are the directors of our own movie. Life is a series of choices I've made. I chose to ignore the signs and invest in someone who I knew was unstable, and I paid the price as a result. When I chose to invest in myself, let the past go, and be fully present, life has been amazing. So no, I don't believe the article one bit. 3
Chilli Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 (edited) See , this is why l hate all these so called articles or just anyone posting how you should do this and how you should do that and starting blogs or whole threads or you name it. Anyone, can do one. Anyone. Tahey're everywhere and just scribbled up by god knows who. Millions of web sites and pages and blogs and threads all over and mostly all just written even brain farted from God knows who with zero quals or training or expertise , and many just one off experiences or views . But all over the world people find these things and take them seriously and that can be damn dangerous . But anyway , my observation in lots of people l've known or met or know of over the years and my own divorce and break ups too. ls like most things , there are men and women that all do and handle things differently. Met plenty of men that have gone on into new relationships or remarried like nothings happened , and women too. l've had 80yr old relatives still pining their husband that died 20yrs ago and waiting to die themselves to be together again. And 80yr old neighbours that will never marry or look at another man again after a divorce. Some women move on after a divorce in just mths ,some 10 yrs , some 5, some never, and all the same for men. Me l've noticed 100 times l think , there's really not much real difference at the end of the day in men and women apart from obvious things because whatever you want to pick out in one, somewhere in there there's usually the same equivalent in the other and in every other mix in between you could think of too. So nope , not at all , l've noticed over and over just just about everything more just comes down to the individual person in either. Edited June 18, 2017 by Chilli 2
Maldives Posted June 19, 2017 Posted June 19, 2017 I recently read an article about how men never really recover from a break up, just "move on". Do you think thats true? Because if so that deeply depresses me. It means I will be emotinally crippled for the rest of my life...The thought makes me almost suicidal. Here is where I read the article: Do Men Ever Really Recover from Breakups? Nonsense dude u do the chick that broke my heart 20 yrs ago I don't even think about unless something prompts me to but at the time it was all I cld think about 2
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