LordRorek Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Hello before I decided to commit to going NC I saw on my exs Facebook that she got a tattoo . Now I have always wanted one but now that I have learned this I'm worried that my tattoo will only serve as a reminder of my ex. I'm so confused.
preraph Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 So don't get a tattoo. Problem solved. You need to reach down into your depths and find some self-discipline to want to move on from your ex because dwelling on minutae like this when you're not even together is something you're going to look back on in 10 years and kick yourself for wasting your youth on. 1
brokenshell Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Hello before I decided to commit to going NC I saw on my exs Facebook that she got a tattoo . Now I have always wanted one but now that I have learned this I'm worried that my tattoo will only serve as a reminder of my ex. I'm so confused. For something as permanent as a tattoo I'd wait if I was you until you're healed and fully recovered from the relationship. That way you probably won't associate the tattoo with your ex. Rushing out and getting one now will probably only remind you forever of how you were feeling at the time you got it and you will just think of your ex whenever you look at it.
Author LordRorek Posted June 17, 2017 Author Posted June 17, 2017 For something as permanent as a tattoo I'd wait if I was you until you're healed and fully recovered from the relationship. That way you probably won't associate the tattoo with your ex. Rushing out and getting one now will probably only remind you forever of how you were feeling at the time you got it and you will just think of your ex whenever you look at it. Yeah you're right brokenshell I should just wait. I have been really stupid and I feel really foolish about how I have handled things. I should have gone NC from the very beginning and stayed that way....Like she did. I guess she was the smart one leaving me high and dry with no closure or answers.......But I know why I did what I did. I had a lot of questions and wanted closure. So I kept trying to reach out in the hopes that I would get what I wanted. When that didn't work I snooped on her Facebook hoping to get a sign that she missed me or was in pain, that would have atleast been something. But all I found were pictures of her happy and that she had a new boyfriend. So then I had a friend tell me only things that might make me feel better like that her new relationship was over or something. But when her relationship did end it didn't make me feel any better.....it only brought a fresh round of pain. God, I feel like such a fool! 1
brokenshell Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Yeah you're right brokenshell I should just wait. I have been really stupid and I feel really foolish about how I have handled things. I should have gone NC from the very beginning and stayed that way....Like she did. I guess she was the smart one leaving me high and dry with no closure or answers.......But I know why I did what I did. I had a lot of questions and wanted closure. So I kept trying to reach out in the hopes that I would get what I wanted. When that didn't work I snooped on her Facebook hoping to get a sign that she missed me or was in pain, that would have atleast been something. But all I found were pictures of her happy and that she had a new boyfriend. So then I had a friend tell me only things that might make me feel better like that her new relationship was over or something. But when her relationship did end it didn't make me feel any better.....it only brought a fresh round of pain. God, I feel like such a fool! I wouldn't worry too much about how you've handled things. It's easy to say you shouldn't have done the things you have done in the aftermath of the breakup but whilst your living it and feeling the emotions its very hard to restrain yourself from making these 'mistakes' Heck, more than half the people on here have probably done the exact same. The night my ex broke up with me I literally tried calling him 20+ times, sent text after text begging for him to come see me and got no reply. A week after we broke up I did it all over again and when he wouldn't answer I messaged him to say I was on my way to his apartment and then he called me back to tell me not to and we spoke on the phone for over an hour while I desperatley tried to resolve (basically beg) for it not to be over. I knew my self at the time what a fool I made out of myself and spoke to him about how stupid I felt for begging and how he must think I'm pathetic/crazy. He was actually quite sympathetic on the phone and said he didn't think any less of me and loved the bones of me, he understood how painful it was and said he wasnt judging me at all because it was just how I felt. That was over 2 months ago and I've still messaged him every other week to have my messages ignored. It's a difficult time for everybody, everybody deals with it in their own way and nearly everybody makes these mistakes. You loved the person and didnt want it to be over, you may feel foolish at least you know you tried. I know it doesn't help how you feel right now but time will heal, try and focus on yourself and maybe cut all contact including unfriending or just trying not to visit her social media sites. I havent physically been able to look at my exs profiles because I know that it would just make me feel incredibly hurt with what I would see on his profiles and to be hobest I feel hurt enough as it is without the added anxiety. Try your best to keep NC for a good while, at least until you can avoid making any emotional outpourings when you do speak to her. Easier said than done - I know, it's something I'm trying to do myself 1
Altair0770 Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 I hate to say it, but there will always be reminders of an ex. I have some people state that something reminded them of an ex they dated 40 years ago. Once someone makes a mark on your heart, it will last. It also is the same for a dumper too, so don't worry too much about that. Get a tattoo if you want to when you're ready, when you are able to get one without your ex on your mind while getting it.
Author LordRorek Posted June 18, 2017 Author Posted June 18, 2017 I wouldn't worry too much about how you've handled things. It's easy to say you shouldn't have done the things you have done in the aftermath of the breakup but whilst your living it and feeling the emotions its very hard to restrain yourself from making these 'mistakes' Heck, more than half the people on here have probably done the exact same. The night my ex broke up with me I literally tried calling him 20+ times, sent text after text begging for him to come see me and got no reply. A week after we broke up I did it all over again and when he wouldn't answer I messaged him to say I was on my way to his apartment and then he called me back to tell me not to and we spoke on the phone for over an hour while I desperatley tried to resolve (basically beg) for it not to be over. I knew my self at the time what a fool I made out of myself and spoke to him about how stupid I felt for begging and how he must think I'm pathetic/crazy. He was actually quite sympathetic on the phone and said he didn't think any less of me and loved the bones of me, he understood how painful it was and said he wasnt judging me at all because it was just how I felt. That was over 2 months ago and I've still messaged him every other week to have my messages ignored. It's a difficult time for everybody, everybody deals with it in their own way and nearly everybody makes these mistakes. You loved the person and didnt want it to be over, you may feel foolish at least you know you tried. I know it doesn't help how you feel right now but time will heal, try and focus on yourself and maybe cut all contact including unfriending or just trying not to visit her social media sites. I havent physically been able to look at my exs profiles because I know that it would just make me feel incredibly hurt with what I would see on his profiles and to be hobest I feel hurt enough as it is without the added anxiety. Try your best to keep NC for a good while, at least until you can avoid making any emotional outpourings when you do speak to her. Easier said than done - I know, it's something I'm trying to do myself Thank you very much for your kind words. I just hate being so messed up over her. I know we could never be together again nor could we be friends after everything that happended. All I wanted was a conversation, some questions answered, and a little closure. But I never got it and I don't think I ever will. If you want to know more about my break up I posted my story here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/627147-complete-story-my-breakup
Marc878 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 Closure comes from within. The quickest way is total NC 1
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