kindnessplease Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) Hello, first ever post here. I've been in a relationship with my amazing, super sweet boyfriend for 2 years now. We're planning on getting engaged soon, I already designed the ring, it's been paid for and picked up....so it's the waiting game now. We have always been really happy, we're both Pisces for whatever that's worth. We are incredibly compatible, both come from great families with both sets of parents still happily married. We both led healthy lives before we met, and continue to. We have lived together for over a year now, have the best dog that we love to love together. My problem is that I am a very sensitive and emotional person, and have general anxiety on top of that. He is a very sweet and loving partner, but does not experience emotions the same way I do. There has been a recent pattern of me becoming upset and mad at him for no apparent reason- I must disclose that it's always after we have had some wine. I will share something with him (just as an example- "it makes me so sad when I think of all the dogs that don't have homes in the world") and he will acknowledge and agree but it's like, I feel like he doesn't fully reciprocate my deep feelings that I am trying to convey. I think maybe I have a certain image of us laying and talking for hours, exploring each others minds and hearts like we did when we first met. I am nostalgic of that magical feeling that we had in the beginning, and I think that maybe the transition of getting married has something to do with all of this. And like I said, we are still SO happy and that magical feeling IS there, just less...no, not less, DIFFERENT. Evolved? The other part of the problem is that I have no close friends in our city. I have close friends in other states that I do talk to, but no girlfriends that I see regularly and just hang out/vent/etc. I'm very close with my mom but when I talk to her about these things she just worries that we are going to break up (my parents adore him). I'm spending the day away from him and trying to work on this myself, exploring my feelings and writing and doing meditation. Trying to figure out a solution here. So that's where I am. Any advice or mutual understanding is so much appreciated. thanks. : ) Edited June 17, 2017 by kindnessplease
mikeylo Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 It's very simple.Dont drink wine. Exactly. Since this happens only when you drink, don't drink
preraph Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Yes, this is simple. You don't need to be drinking. It makes you maudlin. My dad was that way. One drink, he was like Dean Martin, three drinks, crying about ancient issues with his mother and feeling maudlin. Not anyplace anyone wants to go with you. But besides that obviously, you need to stop drinking entirely, I have another perfect solution for you that will make you meet new friends of many species, and that is volunteer to help the local SPCA or a dog rescue. Instead of crying in your beer about it, go help, and meet friends in the process. Good luck. Take the onus off your man. Men don't like to wallow, if you're lucky. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 There's nothing wrong with being a highly emotional/empathetic type of person, and there is nothing wrong with him not being that way. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with your relationship. There is no person on the planet who can meet ALL of your needs, so don't expect him to. Relationships change over time, but that doesn't always mean it's a bad thing. And perhaps no more wine . 1
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