nerdlingZA Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 good day everyone, this is probably the worst thing i have ever done.... so me and my friend were throwing a party at his house 6 months ago, i saw 3 girls on the street and invited them all by saying that im actually throwing the party at my house, so these girls came to the party we had a massive good time with this one girl, it was a huge party. the next morning and for about 3 weeks this girl and i didnt talk, and then out of no where i recieved a msg from her saying she misses me..... anyway we started ha ging out everyday at the park. 4 months down the line we are actually in a relationship thats going to be serious once we have sex.... NOW THE PROBLEM... when i invited her to my friends house she thought it my parents house, the house is a luxury, mine doesnt compre to it.... so now she still thinks i stay there.... now we have to have sex and i cant keep on hiding the truth, we had a talk about booking a hotel she agreed at first and then out of nowhere she doesnt want to go anymore she wanna have sex at my house, when she finds out the truth i feel like shes goimg to be dissapointed and leave me. i have 3 options in this scenario 1. tell her th truth and let the relationship die 2. dont say anything, make her change her mind about hotel have sex wth her and then tell her the truth 3. wait for college to reopen and then go stay at my schools dorm an have sex with her every week what should i do great people:(:(
smackie9 Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 (edited) Well karma is a b&^%$ isn't it? Tell her you did it to impress her, and it wasn't used to mislead her and that you were being an idiot. If she walks. she walks.... Sorry to say this but what the hell were you thinking?...not a bright move. Learn to treat women with respect, and the sex will happen. If you cheat and lie about it, word will get out and you will never have sex at college. Edited June 17, 2017 by smackie9 6
Noideanow Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Tell her the truth and If she loves you she Will Even think its sweet you wanted to impress her so desparately:love: And If she loves you she doesnt If you lived on a toilet:cool: no need to Be afraid unless you want to keep someone that doesnt love you, take Care Hope it is the real thing:cool: 1
Author nerdlingZA Posted June 17, 2017 Author Posted June 17, 2017 Well karma is a b&^%$ isn't it? Tell her you did it to impress her, and it wasn't used to mislead her and that you were being an idiot. If she walks. she walks.... Sorry to say this but what the hell were you thinking?...not a bright move. Learn to treat women with respect, and the sex will happen. If you cheat and lie about it, word will get out and you will never have sex at college. i know... i have been breaking down everyday for the last month, i actually like her soo much now. we went to the mall watched a movie and ate ice cream while window shopping.... i have never bbeen so comfortable with a GF before, i wanna die :( im gonna tell her after my birthday the 5 of july
Versacehottie Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Take her to your real parents house. When she brings it up that she thought you lived at the other place tell her there must have been a misunderstanding or some confusion the first night you met and that's actually your friend's parents place. (this will only work if you haven't perpetuated the lie in the meantime). Then stop lying to her going forward. It should work. 1
d0nnivain Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 It's not worth dying over. Please tell me that was a figure of speech & you are not actually feeling suicidal. Smackie's suggestion is a good one. Be straight with her & hopefully she'll forgive you. If she's a gold-digger you are better off knowing now. 3
Author nerdlingZA Posted June 17, 2017 Author Posted June 17, 2017 Take her to your real parents house. When she brings it up that she thought you lived at the other place tell her there must have been a misunderstanding or some confusion the first night you met and that's actually your friend's parents place. (this will only work if you haven't perpetuated the lie in the meantime). Then stop lying to her going forward. It should work. this would work but the problem is that she brought up the same thing about a month ago and i didnt say anything todispute that it isnt my house, im stupid, there was soo much potential good dammit
BaileyB Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 It's definitely not worth dying over... Tell her the truth. If you likes you for the person you are, it won't matter where you live. What may matter is the fact that you lied to her. Either way, if she walks, she walks... C'est la vie. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 You need to man up and tell her the truth. My guess is she already senses something is off, given the fact that she specified she wants to have sex at your house and not some hotel. I think she's on to you and trying to get to the bottom of it by gauging your reaction to her refusal to go to a hotel. And I'm sorry, but I very much disagree with the above poster who suggested that if she really loves you she will overlook this. That is pretty unfair to the girl. You lied and began your relationship on a foundation of dishonesty. This isn't about love; it's about her being able to trust you. She will figure this out sooner or later and you had best be ready for whatever reaction you get. She might be willing to give you another chance. Or, she might walk away simply because you've been lying all along. It's her prerogative to take either course of action.
BaileyB Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 You need to man up and tell her the truth. My guess is she already senses something is off, given the fact that she specified she wants to have sex at your house and not some hotel. I think she's on to you and trying to get to the bottom of it by gauging your reaction to her refusal to go to a hotel. And I'm sorry, but I very much disagree with the above poster who suggested that if she really loves you she will overlook this. That is pretty unfair to the girl. You lied and began your relationship on a foundation of dishonesty. This isn't about love; it's about her being able to trust you. She will figure this out sooner or later and you had best be ready for whatever reaction you get. She might be willing to give you another chance. Or, she might walk away simply because you've been lying all along. It's her prerogative to take either course of action. No, I meant that if she really liked him, it would not matter for many people if he lived in a modest house or a mansion. The fact that he lied, is definitely the bigger issue and the reason why I would walk - immaturity and dishonesty. Definitely not the fact that he doesn't live in a wealthy home.
ExpatInItaly Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 No, I meant that if she really liked him, it would not matter for many people if he lived in a modest house or a mansion. The fact that he lied, is definitely the bigger issue and the reason why I would walk - immaturity and dishonesty. Definitely not the fact that he doesn't live in a wealthy home. Sorry, I was actually referring to the post made by Noideanow. I agree with what you're saying, BaileyB.
BaileyB Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Sorry, I was actually referring to the post made by Noideanow. I agree with what you're saying, BaileyB. My mistake. Sorry.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Just tell her the truth. Be a man about it. Don't be wimpy or overly apologetic. Just tell her you wanted to impress the girls on the street and it was stupid. I think that instead of booking a hotel in advance, you need to take her out, make out, then invite her to the hotel on the spot. This way it won't feel trashy or weird to her or whatever. Renting a hotel just for sex has certain connotations, but going to one in the heat of the moment because you need a private place might feel different for her. (Not guaranteed, but probably your best shot.) And don't get a crummy room. Get at least a jacuzzi hot tub or something fun for the two of you to enjoy.
mikeylo Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Tell her sooner than later. The longer you take, worse it will sound.You had a chance about a month ago but you didnt take it. Do it now. 1
coolheadal Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 i know... i have been breaking down everyday for the last month, i actually like her soo much now. we went to the mall watched a movie and ate ice cream while window shopping.... i have never bbeen so comfortable with a GF before, i wanna die :( im gonna tell her after my birthday the 5 of july Do yourself a favor, just say the house is being remodel or your folks just sold it to your best friends parents. If you don't want to tell the truth you already lied about it. Stop making this worst than it is. I am sure all of us here have some sort of hidden past we did and of course we didn't like it but we had too. You did what your thought was the best move. You got girl from it now you want sex. Keep a secret or just spill the beans. If I was you I wouldn't say much on this subject matter. Take her to your place if she really loves you shouldn't matter where you want to take her. If it does she's not the sort you want int the first place. What do they call them oh yes Materialistic..
preraph Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Tell her it's not your house, it's his house but that you stayed there temporarily but not anymore. How do you expect to find a woman who loves you when you are lying about who YOU are?
Maggie4 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 Gee... do college aged girls even notice if a house is luxury or not? I really cannot understand it. Back when I was in college, we used to be embarrassed to be coming from money because we didn't want to be perceived as snobbish, greedy or elitist. Haha, maybe that was just the crowd I was in. Anyway, you might be projecting your own feelings about wealth onto her. That's your own issue. Not everyone cares about such things.
guest569 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 I don't really see what the big problem is. She assumed it was your parents house, why? Did you tell her that? Have you ever confirmed or denied it? Does she regularly refer to it as your parents house? Just set the record straight. "Did you say my parents house? It was actually my friends parents house." If she is disappointed in your house then she is probably a snob. But yeah depending on how often you have talked abiut this house, it might upset her that you concealed the truth (in my opinion a pointless little thing to lie about and would make me wonder what else you would hide)
morrowrd Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 (edited) You're so worried about losing her because of your lie? What an obviously bad judgement call on your part. The only thing you really can do is to come clean and suck up the consequences. Stop worrying about having sex with her, you are so selfish - worrying about trying to bide time until you can "get some" by booking a hotel room. What happens after it gets supposedly serious if your little game works? The same thing, only later, and she would/will probably be even more annoyed because at that point she'll know exactly what and why you were so determined to keep her from your supposed luxury home. After that, she'll believe nothing that comes out of your mouth. My suggestion, meet her for coffee, and tell her the damn truth. You can attempt to soften the blow with a compliment...for what it will be worth. "You're so beautiful I just wanted a chance to get to know you and impulsively lied about my home because I wanted to impress you." The compliment probably won't work, but it will help her maybe understand a little better. Your way, keep her bs'd long enough so you get your sex, then she finds out from someone besides you (which is going to happen no matter what) and looks at you like the liar you are. Learn something here, and don't do it again. A relationship built on a lie is like building a house of cards. Edited June 18, 2017 by morrowrd 1
kendahke Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 this would work but the problem is that she brought up the same thing about a month ago and i didnt say anything todispute that it isnt my house So when you had the chance to come clean, you compounded the lie. This is how good things are ruined. You don't trust her to be able to handle your truth, so what kind of "love" do you think you actually have for this girl? Take your chances and understand if she bounces. Next time, stand in your truth because it outs when you can least afford for it to. Certainly tell her before someone who knows you and doesn't really like you tells her your truth. 2
Author nerdlingZA Posted June 18, 2017 Author Posted June 18, 2017 Just tell her the truth. Be a man about it. Don't be wimpy or overly apologetic. Just tell her you wanted to impress the girls on the street and it was stupid. I think that instead of booking a hotel in advance, you need to take her out, make out, then invite her to the hotel on the spot. This way it won't feel trashy or weird to her or whatever. Renting a hotel just for sex has certain connotations, but going to one in the heat of the moment because you need a private place might feel different for her. (Not guaranteed, but probably your best shot.) And don't get a crummy room. Get at least a jacuzzi hot tub or something fun for the two of you to enjoy. i will be booking a very expensive hotel, an instagram kinda hotel.
Author nerdlingZA Posted June 18, 2017 Author Posted June 18, 2017 Do yourself a favor, just say the house is being remodel or your folks just sold it to your best friends parents. If you don't want to tell the truth you already lied about it. Stop making this worst than it is. I am sure all of us here have some sort of hidden past we did and of course we didn't like it but we had too. You did what your thought was the best move. You got girl from it now you want sex. Keep a secret or just spill the beans. If I was you I wouldn't say much on this subject matter. Take her to your place if she really loves you shouldn't matter where you want to take her. If it does she's not the sort you want int the first place. What do they call them oh yes Materialistic.. thank u very much u just made my day, but i feel like if i tell her after having sex with her it will be better
elaine567 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 thank u very much u just made my day, but i feel like if i tell her after having sex with her it will be better Better for who?
Author nerdlingZA Posted June 18, 2017 Author Posted June 18, 2017 You're so worried about losing her because of your lie? What an obviously bad judgement call on your part. The only thing you really can do is to come clean and suck up the consequences. Stop worrying about having sex with her, you are so selfish - worrying about trying to bide time until you can "get some" by booking a hotel room. What happens after it gets supposedly serious if your little game works? The same thing, only later, and she would/will probably be even more annoyed because at that point she'll know exactly what and why you were so determined to keep her from your supposed luxury home. After that, she'll believe nothing that comes out of your mouth. My suggestion, meet her for coffee, and tell her the damn truth. You can attempt to soften the blow with a compliment...for what it will be worth. "You're so beautiful I just wanted a chance to get to know you and impulsively lied about my home because I wanted to impress you." The compliment probably won't work, but it will help her maybe understand a little better. Your way, keep her bs'd long enough so you get your sex, then she finds out from someone besides you (which is going to happen no matter what) and looks at you like the liar you are. Learn something here, and don't do it again. A relationship built on a lie is like building a house of cards. thank you for responding, so ultimatily i should tell her the truth and if she dumps me then it will be good for me and i sould move on but more often than not the probability is she will leave me
Noproblem Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 Life will not be over if she left you. This happened to remind you to be proud of your house and what you have. You lied, that's ok. If she got really upset Either she hates liars or she is looking for money. In either case, it's not the end of the world. Obviously, you are young, and you'll find another girl! One last thing. Lying give us a stress and unwanted headache You lie once and the lie goes on forever Lie another lie, in another lie. Until it forms a web of lies. Break the circle before it gets bigger.
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