she breaking me up for no reason

[balanar321]

HELLO TO EVERYONE, english is not my mother language so ignore possible grammatical mistakes)

 

I was in relationship with my ex-girlfriend for 3 years.

It was fantastic for 2 and half years in relationship, because i felt in love for first time, and she loved me too, i always was so nice, i was protecting her of everything, i treated her like princess, we always go out together on coffees, launches, dinners, movies and etc. For 2 and half years we spent so much times she was happy i was happy. I thought that she is girl of my life. I trusted her soo much, my plans in life was with her. I never cheated on her.

 

And than for last half year everything went wrong. I am local politician, and young party leader, i have to got controls at my hands for elections, for young actions, for group meetings, for individual meetings and etc. She started to not trust me at my work and was against that. Also i am student. So i have not so much spare time but i always will find for her without distinction am i tired, am i need sleep, am i with problems or something. All i wanted is she to be happy with me.

 

As time was going on, opposition social medias and portals started to attack me with bad habits, like taking drugs, paying others moneys, manipulating, going at casinos, and going with other women ( but i have not idea about all of this, everything is to get black among peoples for bad reputation).

She didn't believe everything but just for that women. We spoke both of us month ago, I explained about my upper situation, and she just said OK, it's fine.

 

Three days ago, i was in other city for some meetings, it was day of our anniversary . We phoned each other and it was everything normal at the morning. I come home after evening and take some food to prepare for dinner and celebrating 3 years of our relationship, while i phoned her she said that she is with her friends (very jealous friends on her for being happy with me, because they cant have relationship longer than one month) and with sad voice said me i cant speak, i will text you for minute.

 

When I received message it was very big disapointment for me because she texted me with breaking up, all because she is not happy with me anymore, she lost love for me and feeling strange when she is with me all because i was accused for that woman, who i dont have idea.. I felt like word ruined and my life is over. I started to bother her and beg to dont do that. But she said No and NO. The Next day we meet each other and speak about problem,and again she is telling me that problem is in me.

 

She said me again she cant love me anymore and and feeling unhappy with me, but she will consider herself about us. I let her to think twice about us, but it was very strange for me, how she loved me so much and immidiatly that stops, we are breaking up but the girl who I still love is leaving me like nothing happened before. what is the problem I am still thinking, breaking up with no reason, after all I gave to her, all I spent for her, all I wanted with her, all I dreamed for her.

 

Today she called me, to tell me that she is sorry about hurting my feelings, but she really doesn't know what to do with us in future. I asked her does she has other guy, she told me NO, never kissed, never texted, never had sex with other, but she has in mind other guy, who she likes. I understand her but asked her again is this real, she started to cry, and continued to tell me that she is guilty for this, she is sorry for everything. But for what? For breaking me up and liking other guy, didnt want to tell me for what is she apologizing. So i started to doubt on her that she cheated on me and doesnt know how to tell me and she express feelings with crying and admits for just 'l likes other guy''.

 

So what to do,can i trust her with these my pains.Are there chances for cheating ?? Should I give her second chance or she does not deserves??

Edited June 18, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[preraph]

She got insecure thinking you had cheated and then she got interested in someone else and decided to break up. It's sad, but if there is no trust, you really can't stay together. And now neither of you trusts the other.

 

Even if you volunteered to take a polygraph and passed it, there would still be the issue with her being interested in other guy. I'm sorry.

[marky00]

She got insecure thinking you had cheated and then she got interested in someone else and decided to break up. It's sad, but if there is no trust, you really can't stay together. And now neither of you trusts the other.

 

Even if you volunteered to take a polygraph and passed it, there would still be the issue with her being interested in other guy. I'm sorry.

 

That's possible I agree.

 

 

Another angle is that in those last few months when he was becoming a victim of rumours, that stress and pressure probably started to make him look WEAK in her eyes. It's totally unfounded but we live in a vain society and people just lose attraction for people who are finding it hard to deal with stress / external issues.

 

 

If she loved him, I doubt she would have accused him of cheating because of some rumour on social media. Sounds like she had started to lose interest and then just ran with the idea he had been cheating (i.e. gas lighting).

[ExpatInItaly]

That's possible I agree.

 

 

Another angle is that in those last few months when he was becoming a victim of rumours, that stress and pressure probably started to make him look WEAK in her eyes. It's totally unfounded but we live in a vain society and people just lose attraction for people who are finding it hard to deal with stress / external issues.

 

 

If she loved him, I doubt she would have accused him of cheating because of some rumour on social media. Sounds like she had started to lose interest and then just ran with the idea he had been cheating (i.e. gas lighting).

 

Exactly. There was almost certainly some projection going on from her.

[elaine567]

I think as you became involved in politics, she felt your focus shifted, then the bad press arrived and although she said it was fine it sowed a seed of doubt her mind.

Yes she probably knew it was nonsense, but she wasn't 100% sure. She I guess then started to question as to whether she could cope with this long term as being the wife of a politician can be very hard. She started looking around for other alternatives and that is where the other man came in.

 

I do not know whether she cheated on you or not, that depends on her core values and despite what others here may tell you, it is possible she did not cheat on you.

BUT the fact remains you are not what she wants and yes you could perhaps force the issue and persuade her to try again, but if her heart is not in it, then it will just be a waste of time.

 

You are both young I guess, so it is no surprise that after 2 and 1/2 years the relationship ran its course and she ended it.

You also seem to think she ended it "for no reason", and that is probably also why your relationship has little chance of survival.

[OatsAndHall]

The end of the relationship may have seemed abrupt to you but it had been brewing in the background for a long time... It may have been due to your involvement in politics or it may have been due to other factors. It doesn't really matter in the end. She wasn't happy with the relationship and she decided to call it off instead of talking to you about how she was feeling. I have found this to be a common theme in many situations. A person doesn't like confrontation/doesn't know how to communicate properly, they get stuck in their own heads and BAM, it's just done.

 

My marriage ended the same way. We had our issues over the years but I don't think that it was anything insurmountable. Everything in our life was looking copacetic; we had just purchased a home, I had a much better paying job closer to home, and she was starting her own business. And then, in the blink of an eye, we're separated and talking about a divorce. Things went downhill fast in the space of a two months and I just couldn't understand why she was behaving the way she was. As time went on, I thought back to her behavior and her comments over the previous six months and it became clear that she had been thinking about leaving me for a long time.

 

So, use this as a learning lesson. Be wary of a woman that isn't communicating with you about their feelings. Pay attention to the small red-flags that pop up (things that you'd normally ignore in a long term relationship) and either be prepared to sit down, have a firm discussion about the situation and move forward.

[balanar321]

I dont know what to say, i cant believe that this is happening, i am still looking and considering myself where i did mistake, i would do anything for her, why she doesn't appreciate that. Looking for happiness and I am giving her that, but she refuses with excuse that she won't be happy with me anymore.

[balanar321]

please read carefully and reply me if you had experience before...

[balanar321]

I think as you became involved in politics, she felt your focus shifted, then the bad press arrived and although she said it was fine it sowed a seed of doubt her mind.

Yes she probably knew it was nonsense, but she wasn't 100% sure. She I guess then started to question as to whether she could cope with this long term as being the wife of a politician can be very hard. She started looking around for other alternatives and that is where the other man came in.

 

I do not know whether she cheated on you or not, that depends on her core values and despite what others here may tell you, it is possible she did not cheat on you.

BUT the fact remains you are not what she wants and yes you could perhaps force the issue and persuade her to try again, but if her heart is not in it, then it will just be a waste of time.

 

You are both young I guess, so it is no surprise that after 2 and 1/2 years the relationship ran its course and she ended it.

You also seem to think she ended it "for no reason", and that is probably also why your relationship has little chance of survival.

 

 

I was involved in politic before we met each other but I got life chance to moving step higher and after bigger responsibility. I don't know really why is this happening I treated her like my everything and now she is dumping me but ok I keep forward in life it my pleasure to take "the harder way"

[Maldives]

U just picked a bad choice in woman u and me both.

 

Try and be more aware of the red flags in the next one...shes trash bro rejection makes u obsess over them and put em on a pedestal. We always want something we can't have

[CupCakess]

Here is the thing: public life is brutal, and very hard on personal life. Politics, even basic ones at small town level one is hard.

 

I can honestly understand her for wanting out of the relationship. Its not "just" because of those rumors, its because of the whole public life. Its hard for the people around the politician.

 

The spouse of someone involved in politics has to have an understanding of what it means, and be into the relationship for the long game.

 

The truth is that, despite how much you loved her, she wasn't the "right" girl for this kind of life. Its better for you, and better for her.

 

You need to understand that a lot of people do not want to be in the public eye, and have their lives be made public. That tweet, was essentially doing that. Because it involved your love life, it involved her. And as I said, a lot of people are private, and don't care to have their lives exposed to the public.

Edited June 18, 2017 by CupCakess

[elaine567]

Here is the thing: public life is brutal, and very hard on personal life. Politics, even basic ones at small town level one is hard.

 

I can honestly understand her for wanting out of the relationship. Its not "just" because of those rumors, its because of the whole public life. Its hard for the people around the politician.

 

The spouse of someone involved in politics has to have an understanding of what it means, and be into the relationship for the long game.

 

The truth is that, despite how much you loved her, she wasn't the "right" girl for this kind of life. Its better for you, and better for her.

 

You need to understand that a lot of people do not want to be in the public eye, and have their lives be made public. That tweet, was essentially doing that. Because it involved your love life, it involved her. And as I said, a lot of people are private, and don't care to have their lives exposed to the public.

 

I agree, a guy who is involved in politics is one thing, a guy who has the press chasing him around and bad mouthing him is quite another.

[CupCakess]

Allow me to elaborate on my point:

 

If you are....

 

.... accused of mishandling funds/recieving bribes, people will question if she ever recieved some of the money.

 

.... accused of taking drugs, it will be assumed she is either ok or does drugs too.

 

.... accused of saying something people label as offensive, people will assume she holds the same position as you do.

 

.... accused of sleeping with another woman, she will be treated as a victim.

 

.... ever under investigation for any charge (true or false), she will be under investigation too, given your connection.

 

Pretty much everything you do or is said about you (whether true or false) will reflect on her.

 

Some people don't care for that trouble. Some people want to live a quiet simple life and not be on the spot. You need to understand that your career path does affect her own life, and can possibly affect her future career choices, affect her public standing, influence what people think of her (including her own family and friends), and in the distant future if you ever get married and have children it would affect them too.

 

She just doesn't want that life. So I think its completly understandable that she broke up with you. I wouldn't want that either. Eventually, you will have to understand that it was the right choice for both of you.

Edited June 18, 2017 by CupCakess

[balanar321]

First of all, thank you guys for all of your advices. It was so hard period of my life. I am curing my pain step by step. We spoke with my ex today, we find a common language for breaking. She told me that she started to becomes jealous on me because of my meetings with females at the party, but I cant run from that. I cant discriminate someone for my personal life because I am president and I will lead our supporters at the right way. Rumours of that girl finished everything. She says that I started to act strange, but it was normal for me because I was sure that she will never left me. I lost her trust.

Told me that she lied to me for thinking of someone other guy just to make me reason. She is a bit sad for ending this even she knows that she is wrong.

And one more time, thank you, I keep forward and if I become ,,big fish" I will try to find all of you for drinking one beer with you thank you great persons I proofs that we politicians have some feelings and love. Greetings and all the best

[balanar321]

She cheated on me, and tried to find reason with that woman. That's the girls, evils, then that guy dumped her for 5 days and now she beg me.

Goodbye to my little ''princess"