LastStraw Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 What is your opinion of these couples? Do they last? My close friend (late twenties) and her boyfriend (mid thirties) has been together for 5-6 years. They were not cohabitating until last year when she got pregnant, then he moved in with her. Now they have a baby and taking care of the baby together, but no proposal is in sight. She says she wants marriage but he doesn't believe in marriage so she will not force him. Do you think his explanation is legid, or he's saying politely that he doesn't believe in marriage with her? From a legal standpoint, is the child protected in case of separation?
GunslingerRoland Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 What is your opinion of these couples? Do they last? My close friend (late twenties) and her boyfriend (mid thirties) has been together for 5-6 years. They were not cohabitating until last year when she got pregnant, then he moved in with her. Now they have a baby and taking care of the baby together, but no proposal is in sight. She says she wants marriage but he doesn't believe in marriage so she will not force him. Do you think his explanation is legid, or he's saying politely that he doesn't believe in marriage with her? From a legal standpoint, is the child protected in case of separation? From a legal standpoint, where do you live? Oddly enough, not every city in the world falls under the same legislation. That said, most western countries have pretty strong laws regarding things like child support. As for how they work out, it's hardly a death sentence for a couple. I know couples who've never married and been together for decades, with or without kids. I actually find it more concerning with your friend that they didn't even live together until the pregnancy. Obviously it was more than just his disbelief of marriage that was keeping him from committing further. 1
Gaeta Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 This is very cultural. I know Americans put a lot of importance in marriage, not in my culture. Out of 4 siblings I am the only one that got married and divorced after 15 years. 1 brother been 25 years with his GF, 3 kids together and going strong. 1 other brother been 10 years with his GF, 2 kids and going strong 1 youngest brother 5 years with his GF, trying to conceive. Ironic don't you think that out of the 4 of us the one that got married (me) didn't make it? Where I am from 52% of children are born from parents that are living together but not married. If I told my family and friends I wished to get married they'd go: are you crazy! why??? lol We don't marry anymore but as a society we have offered ourselves laws to protect each partners and of course children born out of those unmarried union are 100% protected. Unmarried couples with children are just fine. You just need to head to the notary and make sure all of your assets are going to the right person if you die. 1
stillafool Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 I know a young couple right now who have 3 kids and live in a house on the lake. They are a gorgeous couple, gorgeous kids and both don't want to get married. Go figure. You see a lot of that today.
devilish innocent Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 I remember reading a study over 10 years back that compared American parents to parents in one of the northern European countries. American parents were much more likely to be married than parents in that country. The authors of the study expected to find that parents from the other country would be more likely to split up because they weren't married. Instead, they found the opposite results. The American parents were more likely to get divorced, whereas the parents from the European country were more likely to stay together. The authors ended up concluding that it was parents in the US who were rushing into marriage and parenting without enough of a true commitment to each other. Since then, it seems like it's become more common for parents in the US to have children before getting married, although maybe still not as common as in other parts of the world. I do think some of the couples who have kids without marriage aren't really that committed to each other. I also think some of these couples are very committed, but just putting off marriage for various other reasons. 2
basil67 Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 My partner and I are celebrating 25 years defacto this year and have two kids. Still going strong. I am a carer for our oldest who is disabled and as such, have no income and so my partner supports the whole family. We are all protected under law. We are also recognised as 'next of kin' and for tax purposes. As for my reasons, after being divorced once, I will not marry again. I've realised just how little marriage vows can mean and so wouldn't bother with it again. That said, if I lived somewhere that didn't give us legal recognition, I would marry in order to have the legal protections provided. 2
O'Malley Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 If your friend is worried about inheritance and financial support, have her contact a family law attorney. Unfortunately some countries still don't protect the legal interests of children of unmarried couples as well as those resulting from marital unions. Both parents can draw up wills that will help protect the rights of their child. Whether marriage is involved or not, a relationship won't last if both partners aren't on the same page about the big things. It's fine if your friend desires marriage, but as her partner has said he's not interested in marrying, she should accept his feelings but make the decision that's in the best interest of her child and herself.
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