Timpye Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 So like most of you I was the one left. I was told I was left because of circumstance not because of "falling out of love". They are much younger then me and are embarking on their first year of college and felt they wanted time to be single to fully experience it. As strange as it sounds I completely understand where they are coming from and said that it was understandable. They said they hope things can work between us in the future and plan on meeting me the next month so we can maintain a connection. I understand that people can say anything during a breakup but I do believe the reasons to be genuine. I made it clear that I do not want to meet up again if they are just out searching for something else, and have no real intentions of ever getting back. They insisted this was not the case, which is where the problem lies... I have been doing all the right things working out like a maniac, spending time with my friends, getting my head in a good space etc, but I am still left feeling almost numb because of this void of uncertainty. Somedays I feel as though it would be better if I was just let go for good, because then I would not have this numbing void, which I do easily know can turn to being let go for a good at any single moment. I feel like contacting the other and letting them know how I feel but I do know that doing that will reduce chances of reconciliation because I will appear weak and vulnerable. So I am left, In this numb, uncertain place, not wanting to start anything new, not wanting to let go, not wanting to express my feelings. I was wondering if anyone has been through something similar, or more or so just wanted to vent to clear my mind, tim xx
springy Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 Doing all the right things includes no contact, meaning social media and not meeting up when you know you are not over the person. You don't have to allow someone to keep you in limbo. You can make the choice to let this go. The pain will subside over time once you do all the right things and cut them off. You are looking at four more years of college and tons of uncertainty. Not a good idea to hang on. She is still growing up, and will not be a stable partner for you any time soon. Sorry you are hurting but sometimes we can be our own worst enemy when we refuse to let go. :/ What is the age difference? 1
Author Timpye Posted June 15, 2017 Author Posted June 15, 2017 Thanks for your reply I appreciate it. You are right. The age difference is 5 years, 25 and 20.
springy Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 When you said much younger I was thinking 20-something year age difference. Really sorry for your pain but it would be an awful idea to stay in touch or wait on her to be ready. That would work out fine for her; for you not so much.
kortz Posted June 15, 2017 Posted June 15, 2017 You're both pretty young and she's just embarking on a whole new chapter of her life in which she will be finding out lots of new things about herself and what she wants and inevitability lots will change over the next few years. You are only 25 and even though you may think you're much wiser and older, even you will still be experiencing this and finding your way, albeit further down the road than her. Move on and let her go (NC for a good period of time) if you guys are meant to be then somewhere down the road, in a few years, perhaps your paths will cross again but do not think that is a certainty and instead let life do its thing. In a few months and years you will look back on this and laugh to yourself 'what was I so hung up about?'
Author Timpye Posted June 16, 2017 Author Posted June 16, 2017 Thanks for the advice guys. I have decided to let go at all social media stalking and checking my phone for messages from them. I feel like it has really delayed my progress. Its going to be tough because it has just become a habit more then anything, but I will stick at it thanks again xx
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