inappropriate touching

[kendahke]

You're comparing a guy that tried to hold her hand on the first date to a once-in-a-generation, notorious serial killer is a little ridiculous, don't you think?

 

Not at all. No one knows anything about anyone they don't know outside of what they tell you about themselves. All they went on was what he told them during a first meeting. The difference being: he took his invasion of their personal space a whole lot further than this dude has--so far.

 

This wasn't a response for victim blaming, it was a lesson in social awareness.

 

It was and still is victim blaming. She is quite aware from what she wrote. It would appear dude didn't want to open a can of "act right".

 

I've observed dozens of women getting themselves in these situations and it's always because of setting improper boundaries. A lot of the times it's because they come off as too nice and can't read the types of guys they are interacting with. I always know when someone likes me more than I like them. And if that's the case, I draw the line early.

 

 

Your observations are your opinion, not fact. And she did draw the line with him:

he took my hand, which felt wierd, and as I pulled away, he was still reaching for it. After the meal he came and sat next to me on my side of the booth and put his arm around me and then touched and held my face. I was super uncomfortable so I asked him to stop, saying I didn't like PDAs,

 

 

and him being in a marriage and having kids doesn't at equal social skills. Sorry.

 

He has enough skills to successfully court a woman to relationship to marriage to family, so yeah, I'd say he's got enough social skills. He was a lunkhead who thought what he wanted eclipsed what she didn't want AND TOLD HIM.

[kendahke]

Oh believe me, I have experienced it. But I am real assertive , he would have known real quick.

 

The nicey nice politeness goes immediately out the window if I do not feel like I am being heard or respected.

 

I had to take it there, too.

 

They attempt to manipulate you through their nicey-nice routine while at the same time, not hearing what you're saying or respecting what you're saying.

Edited June 15, 2017 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[kendahke]

All they went on was what he told them during a first meeting.

 

That should read "they all went..."

[smackie9]

True story: I was sitting at a table with friends at a busy bar. My husband was over at the shooter bar talking to a bouncer friend. At the next table a drunk guy that sat behind me reached over and petted my hair. I turned to him and calmly told him to stop it. He did it again, then I got real mad and warned him again.....one more time he did it, so I gabbed the side of his chair and his shoulder, pushed and knocked both the chair and him to the ground lol. I got up and started freaking out on him. Then it was his wife yelling at "Can't take you anywhere! blah blah blah" him as the bouncers came over and hauled him out. My friends were shocked at first....then they just laughed. The moral of the story? Don't let them get away with it. Make a frickin scene, don't sit there like a helpless little doe. Get mad, make yourself look big and go crazy. That experience will make him think twice about his behavior. I know most wouldn't ever do such a thing...but I tell ya it's invigorating!

 

Don't worry about the repercussions, there are guys all around you that will come to your rescue.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Most guys want to grab any woman that has a decent body.

 

I know when I'm walking in the subway for instance, I see hordes of attractive women. It's my natural instinct to want to grab them all. Of course, I have restrained myself my entire life.

 

I'm not alone in this either. I've talked to other guys.

 

So, maybe when certain guys are on a date, they figure there's no repercussions to grabbing women. If they grab a stranger on the street, they may get their butt kicked or go to jail. If they grab a co-worker, they get fired.

 

But if they are touchy feely on a date, they could always spin it so that the burden of proof for sexual harassment is on you.

 

Oh how I wish I wasn't rearing my 16 year old daughter in a world where it's accepted that it is a man's "instinct" to "grab them all."

[RecentChange]

Yeah if a pull away doesn't do it, then it's the death stare. If the death stare doesn't do it, then it's in a steady, stern voice, I am SERIOUS, no (with continuous death stare eye contact). I have learned the "I will rip your balls off" face.

 

(Ahhh gotta love the lessons learned in those college party days)

 

It's rude of hell of him, therefore there is no reason to be polite.

[greymatter]

Most guys want to grab any woman that has a decent body.

 

I know when I'm walking in the subway for instance, I see hordes of attractive women. It's my natural instinct to want to grab them all. Of course, I have restrained myself my entire life.

 

I'm not alone in this either. I've talked to other guys.

 

So, maybe when certain guys are on a date, they figure there's no repercussions to grabbing women. If they grab a stranger on the street, they may get their butt kicked or go to jail. If they grab a co-worker, they get fired.

 

But if they are touchy feely on a date, they could always spin it so that the burden of proof for sexual harassment is on you.

 

I find your post very disturbing. You want to GRAB women??? I don't believe it applies to most men, as you said. The men (family, friends, colleagues, etc.) who I know are not like this. You believe most men are like this, perhaps because the men you surround yourself with are like this and you choose to be around men like yourself.

 

I actually am VERY concerned for the women you encounter on a daily basis. These are not healthy thoughts and "instincts" that you are having.

[Gaeta]

True story: I was sitting at a table with friends at a busy bar. My husband was over at the shooter bar talking to a bouncer friend. At the next table a drunk guy that sat behind me reached over and petted my hair. I turned to him and calmly told him to stop it. He did it again, then I got real mad and warned him again.....one more time he did it, so I gabbed the side of his chair and his shoulder, pushed and knocked both the chair and him to the ground lol. I got up and started freaking out on him. Then it was his wife yelling at "Can't take you anywhere! blah blah blah" him as the bouncers came over and hauled him out. My friends were shocked at first....then they just laughed. The moral of the story? Don't let them get away with it. Make a frickin scene, don't sit there like a helpless little doe. Get mad, make yourself look big and go crazy. That experience will make him think twice about his behavior. I know most wouldn't ever do such a thing...but I tell ya it's invigorating!

 

Don't worry about the repercussions, there are guys all around you that will come to your rescue.

 

haha, great story smackie!!

 

OP: You will never want to date a man behaving like this so don't hesitate to speak your mind, you're not losing anything, actually losing him in a grandiose gesture will give you a lot of satisfaction.