Redguitar35 Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I've never been more frustrated with dating in my life. I went to meet someone I met online, and she never showed and never responded to texts saying I'd arrived. Later on someone else messaged me, but it turns out she has a kid and I'm not open to parenting. So I unmatched her and deleted the dating profiles altogether. That's it. This stuff just isn't worth it people! If you're a 30 year old single male, forget it, you have no chance to find a good relationship.
teak Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I find online dating sites to be one of the worst ways to have a meaningful connection. And I have tried a LOT. Join a bunch of Meetup groups for things that interest you. You stand a better chance at meeting someone who enjoys something you enjoy, and who joined a group for it to be around other people who enjoy it. Online dating is usually done out of loneliness, heartache, or sex. Sometimes people get lucky, but first they have to dig through a bunch of trash. Just enjoy your life with or without a partner. 3
The Urbanyst Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I've never been more frustrated with dating in my life. I went to meet someone I met online, and she never showed and never responded to texts saying I'd arrived. Later on someone else messaged me, but it turns out she has a kid and I'm not open to parenting. So I unmatched her and deleted the dating profiles altogether. That's it. This stuff just isn't worth it people! If you're a 30 year old single male, forget it, you have no chance to find a good relationship. Are you kidding? My dating life improved dramatically after I hit 30. You must be doing something wrong, like being desperate. 6
Purepony Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Are you kidding? My dating life improved dramatically after I hit 30. You must be doing something wrong, like being desperate. How's that ?
The Urbanyst Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 How's that ? I was broke and busy in my 20's after college. I'll say college might of been by peak, but I got a second wave after hitting 30 once I started making good money and got my own apartment. Being 30 also means more options as I can easily date women in their 20's, but I can also easily date women my own age. I don't know why the OP thinks his age is the problem. 6
starrynight4321 Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 It's not your age, it's online dating - easily the absolutely worst way to meet someone! Online dating is festering pool for hook ups, commitment phobes, and people just looking for an ego boost via going on endless series of 1st and 2nd dates. The odds of finding someting worthwhile online are slim to none. Online daters are flaky and way too preoccupied with the facade and perception of having so many options. 2
Daisydooks Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I've never been more frustrated with dating in my life. I went to meet someone I met online, and she never showed and never responded to texts saying I'd arrived. Later on someone else messaged me, but it turns out she has a kid and I'm not open to parenting. So I unmatched her and deleted the dating profiles altogether. That's it. This stuff just isn't worth it people! If you're a 30 year old single male, forget it, you have no chance to find a good relationship. Lol You're the typical man I would be looking for and specifically because of your age and lack of desire to raise someone's child. Hot commodity to this girl! Hahahahaha How long have you been online dating? I met a few duds first before meeting my current partner. I met a fireman. That was fun. But for like 4 dates. That was purely physical and couldn't see myself with him, so I said so. Met another man. Decent guy. He didn't click with me so he let me go. A couple months later, sitting in sheer frustration, I was picky as hell one night and it worked well for me. Lol! I did the pickiest search of my life for "the man of my dreams." Of course I didn't think anything would come of it. I was very skeptical as I was with my ex for over a decade and never thought I would find anyone again I am blonde haired, blue eyed, 5'4", 34-26-34 and at 29, a lot of men online found that attractive. As hard as it is for men, its hard to weed through so many "hey sexy" messages. I hated the "hey sexy!" messages from 800 men I couldn't get to know if I was trying. It was a bland experience for the most part because I couldn't differentiate one hey sexy from the other. No one stood out. So I checked off everything from wanting kids and marriage, to brown hair, husky build, had to be a fire sign, brown eyes, Caucasian, 5'9'' to 5'11", had to live within a specific amount of kilometers. I was obnoxiously picky Lol. 2 men! 2 men in 472278282 that night and I found him. Lol. I favourited him. Little did I know it emailed him at 2am! I didn't want to message that late so I thought I was being sly. Not even a little bit sly. He messaged, confused at 730 am asking if I had meant to do that as he had seen me online and never in a million years would have thought he had a chance. In the off chance I actually meant to favourite him, he didn't want to miss and opportunity to speak to me. We met and haven't been apart since. It wasn't for lack of being super super frustrated though. 1
hercules22 Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 not your age online dating is stupid better off trying in person 1
salparadise Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 (edited) I'm way older than 30, but since my divorce, about seven years ago, I've met more than a hundred women (actually met, not messaged), had two long-term relationships, three that lasted 3-7 months, and took some time off as well. I'm going to see the one I met last week again, and I'm guessing we'll end up dating awhile. Every time I meet a new woman they end up telling me how nuts it is trying to date online, and what a relief to finally meet a man that can hold a decent conversation and not be talking about sex or marriage within the first ten minutes. It's not quite like shooting fish in a barrel, but almost. I swear, I don't know why so many men come on here complaining. There must be something you're doing wrong that's scaring them off. That, and thinking it's supposed to be as easy as ordering with Amazon Prime. I'm telling ya... post 3-4 decent pics, write an essay that gives the impression that you are not fresh out of the asylum, and be a little patient. Good women are looking for good men and finding it equally frustrating, in a sort of different way. Just quit doing whatever it is that's scaring them off. It's all relative, and everyone's delusion is their reality. Edited June 14, 2017 by salparadise 5
elaine567 Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I've never been more frustrated with dating in my life. I went to meet someone I met online, and she never showed and never responded to texts saying I'd arrived. Later on someone else messaged me, but it turns out she has a kid and I'm not open to parenting. So I unmatched her and deleted the dating profiles altogether. That's it. This stuff just isn't worth it people! If you're a 30 year old single male, forget it, you have no chance to find a good relationship. And is that is the sum total of your online experience? A non-show and a parent... Do you not think you have perhaps given up a bit too early? 5
Chilli Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Are you kidding? My dating life improved dramatically after I hit 30. You must be doing something wrong, like being desperate. Sh@t ueah , worlds your oyster after 30 l found the same, then l ended up married.
Chilli Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 (edited) It's not your age, it's online dating - easily the absolutely worst way to meet someone! Online dating is festering pool for hook ups, commitment phobes, and people just looking for an ego boost via going on endless series of 1st and 2nd dates. The odds of finding someting worthwhile online are slim to none. Online daters are flaky and way too preoccupied with the facade and perception of having so many options. So many perceptions of so called options but that which usually add up to exactly ZERO, in the end . And waste a helluva a lot of your time in the process was my experience . Edited June 14, 2017 by Chilli
d0nnivain Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Dating for a male in his 30s should be prime. You need to expand your horizons beyond OLD. Were you actually late for the one date? If so, be early the next time you go on a date. 3
CptInsano Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Dating for a male in his 30s should be prime. You need to expand your horizons beyond OLD. Agreed. It also depends on what he is looking for. For a committed relationship it is definitely a prime age for many men. And yes, OLD is not for everybody. However, and maybe I didn't read enough earlier posts, how is the OP doing getting to know women IRL?
Bastile Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 You're angry and annoyed. You're taking it personal. We all get flaked on. I get flaked on repeatedly. Anyone saying otherwise is chatting nonsense. If you aren't getting rejected, getting flaked on, getting a head-turn on a kiss, getting blue balls, then you aren't even in the game. The point is you shouldn't take it personal. Just consider your approach. I would recommend an approach in which you find value in the actual meeting of women, rather than seeing it as a means to an end. Helps to keep good energy. Don't know what that would be personally for you, maybe something based on your hobbies or something like that. Or something you want to improve on anyway. Far better to learn to be social and learn skills than learn how to online date - which the skills aren't transferable to anything, imo. 9
caveman621 Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I'm in the process of divorce after 25 years of marriage. I met my GF through OLD. I should have met her 30 years ago! She is awesome! I now realize that I "settled" when I married because I was afraid of being alone by my mid 20s. I'm now 54 and life is starting over and I couldn't be happier, except for regrets of what I did 25 years ago. You're giving up at age 30? That's just nuts! Seriously! 4
BaileyB Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Datinf in your 30's, you should definitely be in your prime. Sometimes, it just takes time... 2
CptInsano Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Far better to learn to be social and learn skills than learn how to online date - which the skills aren't transferable to anything, imo. Agreed. Not everybody can take OLD "not personal". I've met women who were still angry about every crappy OLD they had. One dragged me to different locations all over the city in a single night. She later explained to that she wanted to replace the OLD experiences at those spots with "something nice". I decided to take that as a compliment. But yes, if the OP let's OLD get the better of him it's time for something else. 2
Bastile Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Agreed. Not everybody can take OLD "not personal". I've met women who were still angry about every crappy OLD they had. One dragged me to different locations all over the city in a single night. She later explained to that she wanted to replace the OLD experiences at those spots with "something nice". I decided to take that as a compliment. But yes, if the OP let's OLD get the better of him it's time for something else. I can only speak for my experience. I'm probably a male 6 or 7. And I'm quite used to dating female 8, 9's. I did online dating seriously for about 2 weeks, and found it to be absolutely nuts. Nothing like what I was used to. The thing that annoys me is that you have guys struggling who judge themselves based on that circus. I literally thought "f**k this nonsense" within a few weeks, based on an understanding of my own value, and what I can pull. Also based on how girls were acting online, compared to how I'm used to them behaving. Just ridiculous. I know plenty of guys that do very well in online dating. My cousin does great, and always wants to tell me that I'm missing a trick. Yet, he don't dare approach, so there you are. And it's actually okay for guys to reject it. Dear oh dear, it's sad when I have to say that. Crazy when we start considering OLD as any sort of benchmark for normality. 1
kendahke Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I went to meet someone I met online, and she never showed and never responded to texts saying I'd arrived. This happened to me recently and I'm in my 50's, except he did respond after I'd told him I'd arrived by telling me he had to work. On a Saturday at 3:30p--meaning: he had all day to tell me he was called into work and he chose not to. I was nice about it. When I got off the phone, I blocked him both on the phone and on the site. It happens. I've also gone on first meets and they've gone quite well and we dated 5 weeks before their bi-polar issues took over. OLD is just a tool. We're no longer in school with people in our age brackets, which is how we all used to meet boy/girlfriends when it was easier to do so. The older you get, the less time people tend to make outside of their jobs because of family demands, work demands, going to grad/post-grad schooling, etc. It's just harder to find people, but it's not impossible. People will make time for what is important to them, so make time for interests that are important to you and chances are, you'll meet someone else who is as passionate about the same thing as you. 2
kendahke Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 I'm in the process of divorce after 25 years of marriage. I met my GF through OLD. I should have met her 30 years ago! She is awesome! I now realize that I "settled" when I married because I was afraid of being alone by my mid 20s. I'm now 54 and life is starting over and I couldn't be happier, except for regrets of what I did 25 years ago. You're giving up at age 30? That's just nuts! Seriously! You give me hope! 1
normal person Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Is this a joke? I'm 30 and my experience couldn't be more different. I thought being 27ish was fun -- but it gets better every year. Now that I'm 30 it's like every woman I meet +/- 6 years of me is interested. I don't see how you think your problem is a function of your age. Things should be as good as they've ever been for you. The only group of people who has it better are women in their early-mid 20s. Apart from them, you're king of the world right now. At 30-37 you're in your absolute prime as a man. Assuming you've invested your time well, you have success, money, prestige, respect, you still have your looks, etc. If you are unattached at 30, women ages 24+ are tripping over themselves to go out with you. You're at least a ladder rung above them career and lifestyle-wise and if they get with you they immediately jump up a grade. And especially once they become more conscious of their biological clocks, you start becoming even more appealing. What do you think the issue is, exactly? You should be slaying. 2
central Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Only 2 failures and you're giving up? Only 1 in 20 contacts led to dates, and only 1 in 5 dates led to more dates (50/50 who decided not to continue). I was stood up a number of times, or the person wasn't what they represented themselves to be. But, it IS a numbers game to find someone who's a great match - and I did, eventually. But, I met a lot of women who didn't work out after a few days, weeks, or even months of dating. 6
PegNosePete Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 It worked just fine for me. Just because you can't make it work, doesn't mean it's broken. 3
knabe Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 So, to recap: One woman didn't show up One woman has kids It's hopeless Read that and see if you can identify why you are not having success. It is the same reason for most of the men on forums who aren't having success. 2
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