From a man's point of view?

[Lesliealexzandr]

I know that all men are not the same. But men, what do you think about this? (Women comment goo) but seriously guys? So I met someone online he is 25. We recently met in person and it wasa spur of the moment thing so I wasn't looking my best. I was just in my jeans and t shirt. He's a great guy. A quiet guy and hardworking but he will barely text. I don't text him first because he's busy and I also dont want to seem desperate or annoying but I also want a little more of his attention... is he losing interest? We usually have like one text conversation a day at any random time. No good morning texts. And not appreciating the half effort tbh.

[act00]

Not everyone likes to text or have constant communication. I just met up with someone who is all about the phone call.

 

You're not texting either. You're waiting for him to do it.

 

Games like this really suck. Everyone is trying not to do too much or too little or seem too desperate or needy, and there is no magic formula, as everyone is different in their communication styles and preferences.

 

Will it kill you to text him first? Will that make him feel good that you show an interest by actually being the first once in awhile? Just text him. Or wait around.

[teak]

What is the conversation like when you text first? Do you feel it's just polite? Does he ask anything that makes you think he is trying to get to know you? Sometimes there's just no spark for the other person, but they don't want to hurt your feelings either. So you're just stuck in this weird place until someone lets go.

 

Texting is, unfortunately, not the greatest way of dating. It's often impersonal and you feel like you're telling too much by sending large blocks of text or too many small ones. So if he is actually a phone or face to face person, go with that. If he's just kind of blah about you, try not texting at all.

[The Urbanyst]

We men sometimes get tired of doing all the work in the relationship.

 

I don't know why a lot of women think they can just sit back and do nothing and still hold our interest. I initiate in the beginning, but then I expect the woman to start initiating to show she is interested. Otherwise I get bored very fast.

[thefooloftheyear]

Not really enough info to give a logical answer...But some guys(me included) aren't heavy cell phone/text types...Maybe he is one??

 

I dunno...

 

TFY

[salparadise]

I don't text him first because he's busy and I also dont want to seem desperate or annoying but I also want a little more of his attention... is he losing interest? We usually have like one text conversation a day at any random time. No good morning texts. And not appreciating the half effort tbh.

 

Smart guy.

[basil67]

Judge the relationship by how often the two of you see each other - not by how often you text. How long ago did you see him last? Did you tell him you'd like to see him again?

[Chilli]

Funny, jeans and T would be one of my most fav outfits on a girl.

But,sorry to say, l think he's just not that into you two.

ALTHOUGH , in saying that, there also isn't much to go on and as someone else was saying people play that many stupid bloody games in this contact thing these days, he may also be sitting by the phone pretending not to be desperate too.

But l doubt that's it.

[Miss Peach]

IME it's often a bad sign interest-wise. Having said that I have met a few men who got bad dating advice and used it as a way to try not to screw it up with me.

[central]

I think your expectations after just one date are too great. And if he's not someone who normally texts, then you want him to change his character to make you feel secure.

 

 

Give it time. Have a few dates, and you'll find out if he's really into you or not - and it probably won't have anything to do with how often he texts you.

[RecentChange]

I wouldn't expect good morning texts after one date.

 

I would think a daily check in would be more than enough.

 

Have you all set up your next date? I think that should be the focus of the texting.

[kendahke]

I know that all men are not the same. But men, what do you think about this? (Women comment goo) but seriously guys? So I met someone online he is 25. We recently met in person and it wasa spur of the moment thing so I wasn't looking my best. I was just in my jeans and t shirt. He's a great guy. A quiet guy and hardworking but he will barely text. I don't text him first because he's busy and I also dont want to seem desperate or annoying but I also want a little more of his attention... is he losing interest? We usually have like one text conversation a day at any random time. No good morning texts. And not appreciating the half effort tbh.

 

You just met him one time and you're already acting like he's your boyfriend. Do you know if he even likes you like that? Does he want a girlfriend? Is he also seeing other women?

 

You might want to find out a bit more about him before assigning boyfriend characteristics to a virtual stranger.

[Imajerk17]

OP, did you just change your gender or sexual orientation? I am referring to the following thread of yours, from only 5 days ago:

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/626444-i-feel-like-time-running-out

 

 

"I'm 23 years old and just got out of a bad relationship. She cheated and it hurt.

But it also made me realize I haven't done much with my life. Yeah I just got a job with the post office and that's great. So I thought about taking my savings and going to college in new york? I know it's expensive but honestly it's not about the money for me. I feel like if I don't do it now then I may never. Help."

 

 

Edited June 14, 2017 by Imajerk17

[kendahke]

OP, did you just change your gender or sexual orientation? I am referring to the following thread of yours, from only 5 days ago:

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/626444-i-feel-like-time-running-out

 

 

"I'm 23 years old and just got out of a bad relationship. She cheated and it hurt.

But it also made me realize I haven't done much with my life. Yeah I just got a job with the post office and that's great. So I thought about taking my savings and going to college in new york? I know it's expensive but honestly it's not about the money for me. I feel like if I don't do it now then I may never. Help."

 

 

 

For reference

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/626213-should-i-move-far-away-escape-her

[Sunlight72]

OP, you really need more friends and more of a social or work life.

 

I'm now dating someone who is really needy with communication - more than anyone I've met before (I'm 45). She wants two or three text or phone conversations per day. We live together, so we also see each other every morning and every evening & night. I will be more honest with you than I am with her - it has really killed my enthusiasm for seeing her or communicating.

 

She acts like I automatically owe her this 'minimum' amount, and there isn't usually anything to say anyway. I know it is important to her, so I do my best, and sometimes I feel I have a 24/7 job now that requires me to check in all the time. Not a romantic framework.

 

My girlfriend (of 20 months) has basically no friends in this town since she works all the time (about 65 hours a week, all 7 days). I sympathize greatly and admire her dedication to her own business. Of course, she has many other good traits and makes my life more fun than it would be without her, but .... this need of hers for such heavy daily communication prevents much feeling of magic for me.

 

I don't know you, and only have a vague impression, probably colored by my own issues. However, if this sounds like your personal needs list, please do yourself a favor and expand your circle of friends to spread the joy around. Otherwise, you could drown anyone who gets too close.

 

Best Wishes,

Sunlight

[Sunlight72]

.... having said all that,

 

If you really want someone who will text you three or more times a day, you have every right to seek out such a person.

 

I would just like you to know that it is not a good indicator of how much a guy likes you.

[coolheadal]

I know that all men are not the same. But men, what do you think about this? (Women comment goo) but seriously guys? So I met someone online he is 25. We recently met in person and it wasa spur of the moment thing so I wasn't looking my best. I was just in my jeans and t shirt. He's a great guy. A quiet guy and hardworking but he will barely text. I don't text him first because he's busy and I also dont want to seem desperate or annoying but I also want a little more of his attention... is he losing interest? We usually have like one text conversation a day at any random time. No good morning texts. And not appreciating the half effort tbh.

 

My take on this one is that, doesn't matter, most of us men are not your text buddy. I personally rather talk on cell, if your not local, skype or facebook messenger video chat or voice. But don't get me starting to text because I can bomb you with endless text. I don't want that. So call the dude and talk to him. It's the only way your going to find out if he was okay with you not lookin gyour best. I think a woman in jeans and t-shirt is really sexy even thrown in a pair of glasses forget about. Real turn-on for me. Anyway I sure it was for him too. Listen if you don't like the bombing of many text and just like one text message a day then fine. Sounds like you want more than one then many he's not your text buddy. No one wants a relationship based on text on.y. Call the guy up and talk to him...

[Miss Peach]

You just met him one time and you're already acting like he's your boyfriend. Do you know if he even likes you like that? Does he want a girlfriend? Is he also seeing other women?

 

You might want to find out a bit more about him before assigning boyfriend characteristics to a virtual stranger.

 

I missed the part this was after just one date. While I've found men usually know they need to reach out if they want to see a woman again, I don't expect much communication-wise from men the first month or two until things pick up.

 

Having been on the other side of this, I've run into this with some lesbians. I've not gone out on second dates with some of the most beautiful women because they were getting mad at me for not calling and asking enough questions after the first date.

[salparadise]

I don't text him first because he's busy and I also dont want to seem desperate or annoying but I also want a little more of his attention... is he losing interest? We usually have like one text conversation a day at any random time. No good morning texts. And not appreciating the half effort tbh.

 

This ^^^ still cracks me up, even three days later. Do women actually expect a guy to act like a fool in love after seeing him just once? And she refuses to initiate any communication for fear of appearing desperate, right? This guy has been keeping up daily communication and it's not enough?

 

It's a wonder anyone ever gets laid if such expectations are ubiquitous. I actually think he's being quite effusive if he's texting daily...

 

If I meet a woman I like, there's no way I'd be texting every day if she's not initiating anything at all. Every other day, maybe. Let her fill the gap on the days in between if she wants to. This whole notion that a man is supposed act like a dog chasing a ***** in heat is just hilarious. Do women really want that?

 

Seems to me the guy in question here has her right where he wants her... no?

[hercules22]

I only tend to text more the more we have gone on dates and hangout with each other don't really text much in between if i only just met . No your not gonna look desperate or needy as long as u don't spam him with messages daily its not like you have gotten close just yet who knows if it even goes to that one step at a time see if communication picks up more later on.

[phineas]

This ^^^ still cracks me up, even three days later. Do women actually expect a guy to act like a fool in love after seeing him just once? And she refuses to initiate any communication for fear of appearing desperate, right? This guy has been keeping up daily communication and it's not enough?

 

It's a wonder anyone ever gets laid if such expectations are ubiquitous. I actually think he's being quite effusive if he's texting daily...

 

If I meet a woman I like, there's no way I'd be texting every day if she's not initiating anything at all. Every other day, maybe. Let her fill the gap on the days in between if she wants to. This whole notion that a man is supposed act like a dog chasing a ***** in heat is just hilarious. Do women really want that?

 

Seems to me the guy in question here has her right where he wants her... no?

 

I agree.

texting a woman daily before we are actually dating has gotten me ghosted slow faded and feeling like i wasted my time.

 

I let women do the chasing and they will if interested.

Most women know if they want my attention they have to earn it.

If they don't want to make an effort?

Oh well, i'm a really busy guy and there really is no shortage of women.

[preraph]

Texts just to be texting like good morning and good night and how are you just seem to me like they're only for people who have nothing productive going on in their lives, like no job, no responsibilities. They're just empty time-wasting, meaningless space fillers. I think anyone who is living a real life, supporting themself, and busy like most adults are would find this just annoying and something they wish they never got started doing -- and I think he's making sure he never gets started doing it. Plus someone who needs to hear from someone this often is showing insecurity and desperation and painting themselves as someone who needs constant reassurance, which isn't attractive. Leave this behind once you're not a student with idle time anymore. Remember that a person who is busy living a real life doesn't have time for this. If you were a real part of that person's life, you wouldn't need to text to say good morning and good night or how are you because you'd be in their life by their side enough to not need that unless they went out of town or something.

[preraph]

Judge the relationship by how often the two of you see each other - not by how often you text. How long ago did you see him last? Did you tell him you'd like to see him again?

 

^This all the way. It took me two paragraphs to say the same thing

[salparadise]

I agree.

texting a woman daily before we are actually dating has gotten me ghosted slow faded and feeling like i wasted my time.

 

I let women do the chasing and they will if interested. Most women know if they want my attention they have to earn it. If they don't want to make an effort? Oh well, i'm a really busy guy and there really is no shortage of women.

 

I find this to be true as well. It makes no sense to pursue women who are flat, cold, silent and otherwise refuse to express interest. I don't mind taking the lead in certain ways, but the notion that men are supposed to be pre-sold and in hot pursuit from the git-go while a woman feigns demure is ludicrous. If she doesn't believe in reciprocity she's not my type anyway.

 

I've had a ton of first dates since becoming single a few months ago, and never have I met so many losers in such a short amount of time. I've thought about starting a thread about recent experiences but I'm sure it would sound terribly cynical. Women need to get off their asses and meet us half way.

[phineas]

I find this to be true as well. It makes no sense to pursue women who are flat, cold, silent and otherwise refuse to express interest. I don't mind taking the lead in certain ways, but the notion that men are supposed to be pre-sold and in hot pursuit from the git-go while a woman feigns demure is ludicrous. If she doesn't believe in reciprocity she's not my type anyway.

 

I've had a ton of first dates since becoming single a few months ago, and never have I met so many losers in such a short amount of time. I've thought about starting a thread about recent experiences but I'm sure it would sound terribly cynical. Women need to get off their asses and meet us half way.

 

It's summer time.

gave up on online for now and just going out with friends.

if I see a woman looking at me or my friends do i go and introduce myself.

If i feel like i'm doing all the talking i just walk away and don't look back.

no biggie really if she decides she isn't interested.

 

sometimes though they pull a 180 and an hr later and make a ton of effort to talk to me ect.

 

So clearly i assume they were trying not to show too much interest and expected me to chase or something and when they realized i wasn't coming back they decided to stop playing games and make an effort.