mortensorchid Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 I have experienced this feeling as of late, perhaps some out there have experienced this. I feel myself becoming more introverted around people. Let me explain... I used to be a more flamboyant person, I used to be a very open person. After getting myself chewed out by a very horrible former friend years ago I swore then and there not to let others hurt me by taking information about me, even foolish or trivial things, and use it against me. And I became a better listener and kept opinions to myself. Many even praised me for keeping to myself on the job since that infamous stab in the back. But I digress... I apply this to many relationships now other than those I have worked with past and present. But now I find myself becoming more introverted with others. I am almost too afraid now, almost too gun shy. I stay in the shadows all the time. Maybe it's a product of age but I am starting to not like to be around people as much because I feel I am going to get hurt by them or it's just not worth it to put up with the nonsense anymore. Anyone else feel this way? 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Yes, I've definitely become more introverted as I've aged. Social anxiety increases with age as well. I can't believe I was actually a hyper cheerleader in high school lol. (Many moons ago) 1
Mumbles Posted June 14, 2017 Posted June 14, 2017 Sounds like you have some sort of ptsd to me - if its affecting you in this way. Withdrawal to the 'cave' to heal ... if you do heal, you'll come out again - this type of idea.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 16, 2017 Author Posted June 16, 2017 The other day I went to see a play that a friend was in. I ran into a mutual acquaintance and she asked me if I am also in plays like he is. I said "I'd rather not say". The reason I said that was because I don't want her finding things out about me and using them against me. I don't want her or anyone else hurting me or potentially hurting me. I wasn't always this insecure, but I have adopted a new feeling lately ... I used to be very insecure, so insecure I didn't want to speak and I'd practically be shaking I was so afraid of talking to strangers. If you were to meet me I am friendly towards others, but I ask people a lot of questions about them rather than offer things about me. I learned the fine art of conversation with others : Ask them questions, don't offer much about yourself, and they leave the conversation happy because they did what people love to do most, which is talk about themselves. Keep people guessing as to what your motivations are or what you are about. I am happy, cheerful, easy going with others in general when I meet them, some have said they envy me that I am so sure of myself (or that I can put that image of myself out there that I am) with others. Inside I am really not, or have really become very insecure. I have this feeling like no one wants to be with me (platonic or otherwise), I should just be alone. But I don't want to be alone alone, I want to go out into the world and see and experience things still. I just don't know where this fear or sorrow is coming from, except I am rehashing things from my past to such an extent it's making me feel this way.
Author mortensorchid Posted June 16, 2017 Author Posted June 16, 2017 And then just when I wrote that I broke down and started crying. What's wrong with me?!
SammySammy Posted June 16, 2017 Posted June 16, 2017 It's possible to be a discreet extrovert or omnivert. You don't have to change your personality - who you are - just change WHAT you share and reveal. I wonder if you're unhappy because becoming an introvert is not who you are. If so, I would encourage you to be yourself. Just be mindful of what you say and how you say it. That's a good idea for all of us. Don't live life in fear. That's not a fun place. Come out in the sun. Just be ... circumspect.
CptInsano Posted June 16, 2017 Posted June 16, 2017 I have become more extroverted with age, or I have rather always been extroverted, but have hidden it well when I was younger. Unfortunately, not everybody likes to talk about themselves a lot without getting some form of similar feedback, so being very discreet may indeed limit you socially. Dwelling on the past night too, because it excludes new acquaintances almost by default, as they were no part of it and might not be able to relate.
Chilli Posted June 17, 2017 Posted June 17, 2017 Yeah , l'm sorry about your ups and downs , l've been through a lot too. Sometimes l think it's just life , lifes lessons and maybe someday we find our happy medium . l'm a very down to earth person pretty chilled sorta person, big sense of humor which has many a time given me foot in mouth haha, but l wouldn't say out going , not to just anyone,like l'm choosy about who l'll let in or let go with. But l do get to talking very easily if l like someone and feel it's mutual. Sometimes this if just fine but sometimes it's bot such a good idea because it's amazing really , but even family will often be the first ones to misunderstand something or blow it out of proportion or assume something totally off the mark and people in general , l think l've finally realized that's gonna be a given and don't take anything for granted. - except maybe if it can come back and bite you it probably will. l dunno how many times things have happened, nothing things but that have just ended up all effd up by the other person. So 1000 times l've thought it just doesn't pay and l've even reverted back into my shell for long stints and quietened myself right down, way down, even turned right off being around people all together. lt's def' a lot safer being a quieter person and sometimes l think the only person it's hopefully safe to just be yourself with is you w-h or else very long term partner
guest569 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 Hi mortens, you mentioned that you still want to be social and don't want to hide away. Has you frequency of social interaction lessened? Have you withdrawn from social events? Or are you just holding back more when you're interacting? How long have you felt this way (aside from the change from the backstabbing friend a few yrs back ) what has changed recently?
ms millie Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 You mentioned that you seem to be more introverted because you are getting older. Could it just be that you are becoming more discerning about who you hang out with? Maybe you are maturing, just tired of BS from people who are insincere. Plenty of people are lonely in a crowd. If you are in general staying in, refusing invites, and having bouts of sadness, you could be having depression. This is a chemical imbalance and not a sin or moral failure. So if this persists and you are unhappy with it-maybe seek professional help.Call a talk hotline if you don't want to see a doctor. If other people,whose opinion you trust, have seen changes in you, that could be an indicator too..myself, just can't be bothered with idiots anymore.
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