newdaynewstart Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 I have posted a couple times. Just need advice on what I should do...or how I should be responding to this. My boyfriend and I broke up last Monday. It was a four month relationship and it was LD the entire time. We lived three hours from each other and saw each other usually every other weekend. It was a pretty mutual break-up. It is not one that I wanted but I knew that I was not getting exactly what I wanted. I did not feel like my boyfriend was putting in the effort that he needed to make the relationship work. It came down to the LD factor, me being frustrated with him not fully putting his effort into this and him admitting to the fact that he was scared to fully commit to us because of the fact that we were in a LD relationship and it was not a "normal relationship." We have no hard feelings against each other and that is what makes it harder for me...is the fact that we truly enjoyed every time we spent together..it is just that I don't think that he was ready to give it his all like I was. I am trying to figure out what is going thru his mind now that we are not together. We broke up Monday, we emailed Tuesday back and forth a few times just discussing a few things that we wanted to clarify that we talked about Monday. He forwarded an email to me Wed. and emailed me both Thursday and Friday like he normally would. I did not call him at all this past weekend nor did he call me. Monday he emailed me asking all about my weekend, telling me about what he had been up to. Tuesday he emailed me as well. So then I did not hear from him Wednesday and all day today so I broke down and emailed him just asking how his day was going. He sent me back a nice email just telling me what he had been up to the past couple of days and asking how I was. I guess I need to just quit thinking about what he is thinking. He was not giving me exactly what I wanted when I was with him and I guess I just need to move forward. It is so hard though. I just want him to realize he misses me and that I am worth putting his full effort into. Why does he continue to email? Is he just being friends because we have no reason to not be? Does he miss me? What is going through this man's head? Any advice on what I should do. In our situation, I feel like we can be friends...but at the same time I want to get over this hope that he is going to come around and realize things... So do I need to just avoid contact with him and just be nice if he emails...or what do I do???
Merin Posted August 4, 2005 Posted August 4, 2005 Well the answer pretty much has already been given by your now EXBF... He said he isn't ready or is scared to commit to the relationship being that it is/was long distance. IMO that would lead me to believe that while he likes you and enjoyed the time the 2 of you spent together, he wasn't wanting to be tied down (so to speak) to you... unable to see and/or date other people... seems that your Guy was wanting to date you, but more casually than you were looking for. His emailing you... I wouldn't conclude that it means he misses you (and I don't mean that in a bad or mean way) it's that the 2 of you emailing had become habit while you were together and habits are hard to break... you couple that with the fact the 2 of you were long distance so you didn't see one another much (he's used to that) since the break up he may not even realize at this point that the relationship the 2 of you had really is over.... could take him a few times of not seeing you or being with you on those weekends when he normally would've been with you for him to feel any pings of regret. However... being that he told you he wasn't all about committment and that is what you're looking for in a relationship I would advise you to get out and meet other people who DO live in your area and ARE looking for something more than casual dating. Good Luck
fundamental Posted August 5, 2005 Posted August 5, 2005 Originally posted by Merin However... being that he told you he wasn't all about committment and that is what you're looking for in a relationship I would advise you to get out and meet other people who DO live in your area and ARE looking for something more than casual dating. Good Luck I agree!
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