JustT92 Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 I am in a situation that I never thought I would be in, as an attractive female in her mid-20s. I am in what has turned into a sexless relationship. My boyfriend doesn't have his own place, and granted, I knew this and in the past we've been intimate once or twice (but not to my satisfaction). We've been in more uncomfortable places for me, his car and at his relative's place place in the back room when everyone's sleep (not fun or fulfilling). Bt the kicker is, recently over the months Ive been the one mentioning and asking for sex. Only to get the run-around or excuses. We've rented a room twice, the first visit didn't go well for me. And the second, well I went out of my way to make arrangements and he couldn't perform to satisfy me. Needless to say, most of our fights to date have been about what im not getting. He always tells me we will have sex but when I ask direct questions he says the typical "well if you weren't being x,y,z, we could have", or "we will have sex, babe", or either deflect or ignore my questions or concerns. Another kicker, everytime we meet we sit in the car and he touches me and everything; tries to mess around with me in the car. (It can only go so far as I don't climax in uncomfortable positions or places). But we have nowhere to go, obviously. Yet in the moment he talks about finding somewhere nice, when a) it's too late, or b) I just got off of a 10hr shift, basically without planning or consideration for me. Yet when I go out of my way to ask and plan he never responds to me or dances around what I just asked. Hell, sometimes he wont answer. I just catch myself boarderline hating him, because I feel like he's playing with me, and likes to get a rise out of me only. Like playing head games. He says stuff but never delivers, after about 4 months. I like him, and want him but he's just being too elusive and idk. And Ive been thinking about going elsewhere, no Ive never done that before. And no, I wouldn't like it to happen to me. But I'd like to think that unless there's a medical reason or a legit reason, that I'd be more than willing to make arrangements to have sex with and please my partner. Im just starting to feel like he just likes to tease and see me upset, and life is too short for that. So I guess, I want to know if I should go elsewhere. My moral compass is seriously compromised. Ive never cheated before, but Ive also never had a problem getting sex from my partner. Honest, non-judgemental responses only please. Im a wreck.
elaine567 Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 ...as an attractive female in her mid-20s. Why are you still hanging around this guy? Do you honestly think it will magically turn any better? DO NOT cheat, but dump him instead and find a man who will be pleased to have sex with you and can perform. Dating isn't about finding someone and then just putting up with them when they make you sad or unhappy. It is about finding someone who you are compatible with, who is fun and who makes you happy. btw I guess (unless he is way older than you), ED due to porn addiction, he is cheating on you, or he is just not that into you. 3
RecentChange Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 Ahh, if when I was a teenager, and both my boyfriend and I lived at home - yet could STILL manage to have great sex, including orgasms for all.... I would say where there is a will there is a way. He's pussy footing around. Maybe it's his performance anxiety? Maybe it's because he can't get you off? Maybe he is selfish or simply sucks in bed? This is the stage of the relationship where you two should be F'ing like rabbits. If I was in your shoes I would be very annoyed as well.... Actually, 4 months and a few rounds of crappy sex? I would be gone. His lack of effort, is lack of caring about meeting your needs says a lot. I don't know if he doesn't have much of a libido, or what is going on in his head, but for me it would be a huge problem. 4
Michelle ma Belle Posted June 13, 2017 Posted June 13, 2017 Why would you run around on him rather than just get out of this unfulfilling relationship and find someone more sexually compatible? Makes zero sense to me why you'd stick around and go off and cheat on him. I agree with Recent Change, where there is a will there is a way and when it involves SEX, usually nothing stands in the way of getting it done especially when you're a horny twenty something guy. Get out if you're not satisfied. You're only 4 months into this relationship. Not long enough to get your panties in a bunch about things if you're not happy. Good luck. 2
anika99 Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 Why on earth would you cheat on a guy whom you're only dating? Just dump him and get a new boyfriend. 3
ms millie Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 This guy is not your husband, you have no legal or moral obligation to wait around frustrated. Say goodbye, 1
preraph Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 He's either gay or has ED or asexual. Does he get hard when you make out? Because if so at least you know he's got a little love for women in him. I had a bf who wouldn't have sex and he didn't tell me for 10 years (when he was married) that he had ED from molestation. He could have saved me a lot lot lot of pain and I thought I was going crazy in the head and he just let me think that rather than admit it. Grrr. Anyway, he may like having a woman to make it look like he's straight or sexual or whatever, but don't waste too much time on him because he's deflecting blame onto you and that's not fair and that means he's not working on himself, which is the only way it will change.
Daisydooks Posted June 18, 2017 Posted June 18, 2017 What makes you want to stay and cheat versus leaving him? I see you complaining of him not having his own place but do you have your own place? How old are you guys? 1
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