I'm new to this kind of thing but I need some and s...

[BlackReaper]

Okay, well I got into a relationship with this girl who I'm still dating. She doesn't want to make it public that were dating at all... She says it's because she's a private person and doesn't want to post her personal life all over the internet but I don't know... This is making me feel like she's hiding something or someone... Which really bothers me to think that. I've always been very understanding and a very passive guy but even me posting a picture of us on my Facebook page she doesn't even like it or allow it on her wall. I've tried talking to her multiple times but she just says she's sorry for disappointing me and we talk about it but nothing changes. I never thought something so stupid as social media can drive me up a wall... She posted a picture of us on Instagram but the tag made it seem like we're just friends. Like we're not even together. Anyways sorry for bitching so much I just don't know who to talk to about all of this... I figured some outside opinions would be good. Thanks in advance!

[d0nnivain]

Does she go out with you in public? Do her friends & family know you are dating? If so, hush about the social media stuff. If no, then you have to dig deeper to make sure you're not the OM.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Does she go out with you in public? Do her friends & family know you are dating? If so, hush about the social media stuff. If no, then you have to dig deeper to make sure you're not the OM.

 

I totally agree. With my last relationship, it took me a long time to even update my FB status that I was "in a relationship" (and it's the only time I've ever done it). I never posted a pic of him or us. He's not on social media so he didn't even care, but my reasoning for doing it is simply because I don't use social media that way. My friends and family knew all about him, met him, etc. but I don't air my personal business on social media. One reason is having to backtrack all of that if the relationship ends. (In my case, it did)

[spiderowl]

How long have you been dating? I would say if it is less than 6 months I would not panic. I know that if I was dating someone I would want to keep it to myself until I was felt sure the relationship was going to last and not just be a three-month thing. Also, if she has been on her own a while, she will be used to being independent and not 'tied' to someone. It does not mean she will not gradually accept you into her life, but it may be a more gradual process than you seem to want.

 

I think she should acknowledge to friends or family that you are 'seeing' each other if the matter arises, but not necessarily be going out of her way to do that.

 

I know you see putting that you are in a relationship on social media is very important and a sign of commitment from her. There are other ways to assess her commitment. How much time does she spend with you? Does she attempt to hide any relationship or is it just not promoting it (there is a difference)? What does she tell you about the status of your relationship - has she expressed any commitment to you in person? Is she contacting you regularly and showing she cares about you? Has she agreed to be exclusive with you sexually? These are all important signs; the social media thing less so.

[BlackReaper]

Thank all of you for your advice! Normally I'm not a social media person at all and I mean at all so this is strange for me to care so much however I don't think it's just social media. She says she told her friends and her family about me but doesn't want me to meet her family for whatever reason. I even told her it's not that big of a deal just a quick "hi how are you doing" but she's so apprehensive about it. As for the other questions, she disappears often she'll be gone for 6 hours then text me. She's been wanting to talk less and less on the phone, we see each other once a week. I don't want to not trust her but I also feel I would let this social media thing go if she at least put effort into the relationship. We go out yeah but we barely hold hands. The only time it seems were together is when were alone.

[GunslingerRoland]

You aren't the only person she's dating, or she doesn't want anyone she knows to get attached to you, because you won't be around long.

[preraph]

Honestly, I just think she doesn't like to make it look like you two are exclusive and wants to keep her options open and isn't that into you to want everyone to think you're an exclusive couple.