brittneyfoster Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 (edited) I am all about self improvement and seeing things differently, so I encourage all feedback regarding your beliefs/ideas on cheating and being faithful. So I don't have a lot of female friends and with that being said, I see first hand how MINORITY men think and behave when it comes to being faithful and cheating. I say minority because I don't know if it's ALL men or simply Hispanic or African American males with this mindset. What I have noticed is that it seems that a woman can be a good wife/girlfriend or an extremely bad wife/girlfriend, but there is no true justification for why they cheat. They do it just because they can. When they get caught, that's when they develop excuses. So from my father, all of my ex-boyfriends, my two male best friends, and even my brother...they are ALL cheaters. They confide their deepest secrets to me, and I while I do scold them about their behaviors, they are grown men and will do what they please. I have only ONE close friend that does not and would not cheat on his wife, and he only became like that after he met his match in a woman who cheated on him so much that he broke him down enough to change his ways. So with that being said, I know it may be unconventional, but I have learned to believe that men are capable of being faithful, but I don't know too many that do. So I fully expect a man to be faithful, to be honest, and to exercise the same moral integrity that I bring to the relationship. I have never cheated and just can't bring myself to do that. HOWEVER, if you do cheat for some reason, then I fully expect for you to exercise precaution, safety, and decency to ensure that it NEVER comes to me. I'm talking about diseases, babies, or women coming by, emailing, or calling me. Almost like a "Don't ask, don't tell". The consequences would be pretty straight forward for me as I would immediately end the relationship. I think all the crappy men in my life have conditioned me, but I really just think I don't want to be let down. So I beg the question do you think this is more realistic or is it setting a low standard? Edited June 12, 2017 by brittneyfoster 1
smackie9 Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 (edited) Men who are serial cheaters have a narcissistic personality. Like famous men, they play by their own set of rules. They don't have much empathy if any making them borderline psychopaths. They come off as confident, bold, charming....all the qualities that is masculine to women. Doesn't matter to them if they hurt anyone, because it's all about them. They will put on a mask of empathy when they apologize, and act accordingly to bs their way out of it. They are con artists. If you are finding yourself dating this type of man, then the issues lies with you being attracted to this type of man. Your picker is off. There are honest sexy men out there. My guess is, you have been exposed to this kind of behavior growing up and it is all you have ever known. This sets the sail when you enter adulthood. Edited June 12, 2017 by smackie9 4
CptInsano Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 If you are finding yourself dating this type of man, then the issues lies with you being attracted to this type of man. Your picker is off. There are honest sexy men out there. I generally agree with you. However, and there is no politically correct way to say this, the cultural background influences the role of the man in society and how he relates to women. This can indeed influence how he views fidelity and monogamy. Blanket statements about "all minority men" are misleading, but I would take his background into consideration when dating sonebody. 1
central Posted June 12, 2017 Posted June 12, 2017 Some of the prevalence of cheating you mention appears to be cultural in nature, and I've heard (and occasionally observed) this tendency, too. As for your standards, I think you should make them known to anyone with whom you are getting serious. Tell them that if you find out that they've cheated on you, the relationship will be over immediately. Don't tell them that they need to hide it well - they will already do their best to hide it if they do cheat. You do have to mean what you say about consequences, though, and follow through without hesitation, because if you relent, you won't be respected. Not that this will help you overall with anyone else, but you can maintain your standards and integrity.
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